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Has anyone read "Stranger Here" by Jen Larsen?



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http://www.amazon.com/Stranger-Here-Weight-Loss-Surgery-Transformed/dp/1580054463/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1370180029&sr=8-1&keywords=jen+larsen

I bought it for my Nook and read the whole book in about 5 hours. (I think it's only 261 pages) but I wondered what anyone else thought about it.

Here is what I thought. It was funny, entertaining and I could certainly relate to some of the things she discusses. (She had the DS in 2006, so diff. surgery than the VSG) But overall I could relate to some of her struggles. I did not hate myself BECAUSE I was fat (she did a fair amount of self-loathing due to her size) I just hated how the fat affected my life. So I felt right away that she had some definite emotional issues that I didn't feel I had -- at any weight.

What I did not like was what a horrible WLS patient she was. The DS is a surgery that has the most malabsorption of all the WLS out there (more so than the RNY) so she drinks, smokes, eats crap, and still ends up losing 180lbs. She glosses over a regain at the end of the book (saying at her lowest she was 130lbs but now is around 168lbs) so she doesn't make it clear if the regain was intentional or just happened over time or what. The other thing that I was horrified to read was that she basically had NOT tried every diet under the sun. She just felt like "diets don't work" but sort of lied her way through the paperwork process with the surgeon about actually having tried other ways to lose weight. She also didn't do much research or become a self-advocate. She googled up a few things, went to a surgery seminar, and sort of started down the path without totally being committed to the process. So that was scary, but I think it's good that she wrote about it because I think a LOT of people are very much like her, just sign the papers without actually READING what they are signing up for, etc.

At the end of her book, the takeaway is that she basically regrets spending time hating herself for being fat. She acknowledges that living life as a smaller person is way easier (like shopping etc.) than being obese, but that basically WLS did NOT, in fact, make her a happier person. She still had the same problems as when she was 318lbs. So I think that is an important message...WLS is not the magic wand to come and cure you of everything you have ever felt bad about. It won't magically fix every problem that you've ever had. And so from that standpoint, I thought this was a good book and a good message.

Anyone else read this and want to comment?

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Oooh, just found this:

http://jenlarsen.net/2013/04/frequently-asked-questions/

On her site she basically says she was stupid and ill-informed about her procedure and that she enourages people to NOT do what she did (which was just put her signature on every piece of paper thrust at her without really understanding what she was getting into.)

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I didn't read it, but just from what you posted it seems this happens with all wls. There are soooo many who are just wanting a quick fix and don't research thoroughly before hand. Clueless patients make bad patients

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I read the book and had a similar reaction.

My thought as I was reading was, "she isn't taking any of this seriously!" Her flippant attitude and consistent poor choices really irked me. I've read several people on this site say they really enjoyed it... However, I am not a fan.

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Passing for Thin is my favorite book in this genre. The author did not have WLS, she became a member of a group that treats obesity as a result of addiction and treats the members like addicts - they have sponsors and confessions in front of the group etc. She's a total head case and knows it and therapy is a major part of her recovery, but she is also treats her eating as an addiction and that really narrows her ability to accept and understand. By the time the book was published and she was invited on Oprah, she was already actively gaining and within a year she had gained back almost all of it. She's a brilliant writer, I've read a snip of her fiction, but she is too caught up in the addiction cycle to really let herself fly.

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I read it. She's like the best friend who is the life of the party but makes the worst choices! She expected WLS to fix her life but it didn't. It couldn't fix her bad relationship or addictive personality or discomfort with her sexuality. In the epilogue it's clear that she got herself to a better place.

I really enjoyed the book. But if you want a less gritty view, read The Sleeved Life. I think A Stranger Here is a more compelling story because its so real. Nobody should go into this with unrealistic expectations, even though most do seem to! Even when they think they aren't.

Full disclosure: pre-surgery I read every WLS-related book Amazon made available for the kindle. Some of them ate terrible. Skip the ones by the Mexican surgeons because they are basically advertisements.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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