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I was never a heavy kid, although I was never skinny. I was fairly athletic, and also an “early bloomer” girl. By the time I was 12, I looked more like an 18 yr old, which caused my mother a fair amount of concern. My weight gain has been the result of a sort of “perfect storm” of three factors. When I was 17, I seriously injured my left knee in a silly accident. Five months later, I re-injured it playing basketball. I think I could have come back from the first injury, but the second injury pretty much meant that my knee would never be quite the same again. When I was 25, I began taking a medication that had a side effect of increased appetite. Around the same time, my first husband began to get seriously interested in cooking. He developed his skill to almost a professional chef level. He prepared amazing food every day, and we loved hosting dinner parties. Because of my knee issues, exercise was difficult. Sure enough, the weight piled on. The higher my weight got, the more difficulties I had with my knee. I attempted to diet, but my husband was not willing to compromise the quality of his food by adjusting his dishes to be low fat. It became a vicious cycle and I continued to put on weight. Eventually, due to all the years of compensating for my left knee, I began to have problems with my right knee. I’ve had arthroscopic surgeries, but those procedures really just ended up aggravating the damage.

In 2006, I went through a divorce and decided to try online dating. I hadn’t had a date with anyone new since 1984, so I wasn’t really sure what to expect. As it turned out, I met a wonderful man, and we married five years ago. He is very much a caretaker kind of guy, and he always made a point of doing the heavy lifting for me. I was already heavy when we met, probably around 270, but my weight crept up over the 300 mark. Because my husband jumps in so quickly to help me with tasks I find difficult, it took me awhile to notice how quickly my mobility was deteriorating. I love to cook, and I started noticing that I couldn't stand up all the way through preparing a meal. I began to sit down when I was doing all my prep work. At the end of cooking a big meal, my pain would be such that I couldn't even carry the plates to the table. Big trips to the grocery store, or walking through our local farmer’s market, became very difficult and painful. Going up stairs was not too bad, but going down stairs or down a slope would bring tears to my eyes. I am in school full time right now, and I have to carefully plan my walking routes to figure out the way with the fewest stairs and hills.

My orthopedic doc has told me I need double knee replacement surgery, but he warned me that the replacements only last about 10-15 years. Carrying excess weight would put me on the shorter end of that range. The older I am and the less I weigh when I have my knees replaced, the better the outcome will be. I am 48 right now, and that’s way too young. About a year ago, my ortho's PA suggested that I get a handicapped hang tag for my car. Believe it or not, I was shocked. Me, disabled? No way! I just limp a lot, and have pain every day, and can’t stand for more than a few minutes at a time, and I can’t….oh, wait. Never mind. It was a very hard thing for me to accept, but that is exactly where I have gotten to. A few months ago, I sat down and made a list of all the things I could do 2 or 3 years ago, but can no longer do. The length of the list shocked me into action, and I began to investigate the different types of WLS. I chose the sleeve for many of the same reasons we all did...no malabsorption issues, no messing with intestines, etc. I know I will probably still need to have my knees replaced someday. However, losing a significant amount of weight will help me in many ways, including allowing me to delay the knee surgery for (hopefully) years.

About a year ago, we became friends with a couple who have both had DS surgery. Although I have known people who had some type of WLS, they were never people with the same kind of food passion that I have. However, these new friends are even more hardcore foodies than I am. They showed me that WLS does not have to mean losing the passion for food that is so important to me. They have shared with me the ways in which they adapted their cooking post-op, and how they still enjoy amazing food in much less quantity. So, I’m approaching this surgery as a creative challenge. I already don’t eat a lot of crappy food, but I think I will have much less tolerance for it post-op. I am adapting some of my recipes for post-op life, and researching cookbooks for ideas. I don't really have a firm goal weight. I'd like for my weight to be under 200, but I won't feel like a failure if I don't get there.

I want to walk without pain. I want to dance. I want to be able to work in my yard. I want to walk around to the shops and restaurants downtown and stroll through the farmer’s market. I want to go shopping with my girlfriends. I want to go to a concert or a sports event and know that I can walk around the venue. I want to travel, and be able to walk around exploring a new place. I want to burn the handicap sign in my car. I know there will always be limits to what I can do, but the restrictions in my life have become unacceptable to me. I just want to walk.

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southernsoul

congrats on being sleeved june 19th :)

with your excitement and anticipation - time will pass quickly :)

maybe you can start to follow some of the drinking rules - eating smaller portions

this will help you - give you good practice for your "official" life with the sleeve!

before you know it, you will be starting your longer, healthier, happier life with your new best friend - the sleeve :)

i think all the "wants" you have listed - are very doable

as you lose weight - your health, energy, mobility will improve :)

enjoyed reading your well written post telling us the "life" of southernsoul in a million words or less!! :lol:

easier said than done - but you must/and will be patient for your surgery in june - remember....

"God Grant Me Patience Just Hurry Up About It!!" :lol:

take care

speedy recovery

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    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 1 reply
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

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