I never understand why people lie about the surgery.. I am flat out honest when people ask me how I lost weight , I don't sugar coat anything . If they don't like it that's there problem not mine. One of my best friends has lost over 100 pounds with the surgery it's been a couple years and she still continues to lie to people ! I just don't get it . I'm proud of my new sleeve and tell everyone that asks . I think it's more of a burden on someone's life to constantly be worrying and trying to cover up how they really lost the weight . Seems like it would just be easier to tell the truth.

Well, as one of the earliest people to have joined this forum on this thread, I'm guessing I am lumped into being one of the "vets" attacking the "newbies", and you would be correct. I will take ownership of that.

Sorry ... it is just my opinion that some newbies just post some of the most remarkable things. This thread being a perfect example.

That is not true. She straight out says if you do not tell people you had the surgery, then you are a liar. I really take exception to that.

I don't think people should be bullied into doing something they don't feel comfortable doing. Most morbidly obese people have been bullied in their lives and to be told they are handling their personal lives incorrectly is just wrong.

Here is one of my greatest fears when people post something like this. Someone who has been researching WLS reads a thread like this. They have been shamed by their obesity their entire life. They have circumstances in their life which make them feel uncomfortable sharing this decision with others and now they are being shamed for not telling people. This all compounds to the point where they decide they would rather live with the shame of being overweight than live with the shame this thread implies by having WLS.

I just find threads like this very irresponsible. I would think the last place I would be shamed about my WLS is a WLS support forum. I'm not a fan of censorship, but I would love to see this whole thread deleted. What would the new person researching WLS think ...

You hit the nail on the head! Nothing more to add.

If its causing her stress and negativity I suggest she find new friends and remove herself from it.. Real friends wouldn't be stressing it anyways. So it seems these are the smile in your face type people that just wanna gossip. She don't need them anyways!

Wow ... this topic ... again ...

Outside of the 3rd week stall thread' date=' this has to be one of the most oft discussed thing here. HERE is the last one if anyone cares to read some history.

I don't understand why people, both sleeved and those not sleeved, can't understand why this is a personal decision and if I choose to keep it personal, that is my choice.

Please respect that.

I don't directly lie to people about it, telling people I do water aerobics or something, but for the most part, I tell them I have decreased my portion sizes and exercise more. All of which is true. I started out having a similar attitude as the OP, but after being knocked down a couple times, I was like, "What business is it of theirs anyway?"

If I noticed a woman's bust line being different, would I ask them if they had a reduction or enhancement?

Why am I obligated to divulge my life?

As I have posted on this topic numerous times, I will copy and paste my theory on this:

It's like we are supposed to have some obligation to society about our lives. As I explained in another thread along this very topic, I:

[*]

Didn't tell anyone I was having a vasectomy to help me control my family size

[*]

Didn't tell anyone I had lasik surgery to help me control my eyesight

[*]

Didn't tell anyone I had hemorrhoidectomy to help my ... well, ya know ...

Why do I have to tell them my life story? This is my life, gosh darn it!

Well said PDXMan

I have been telling everybody about my surgery who will listen for several different reasons...

I'm excited and I want to share the excitement of me changing my life for the better' date=' The outpouring of support from my friends and family and coworkers and others has been overwhelming , very few people have shown negative reaction and when they do, I act like I do not care,,,,

Since I have shared my story was so many people about doing the weight-loss surgery many people did not know this was even an option especially going to Mexico with great success and are now doing it themselves...

I feel like the more I share this with people the more I educate others about the awareness of obesity, controlling it and being able to do something about it and I'm proud of my decision of having the self-esteem & the courage to go forward to make myself a healthier better person !!

The only people who have given a negative reaction are the uneducated about the topic and the people who do not have a weight problem so I don't expect either one of those to understand anyway!

i feel so bad that people feel they have to hide this or lie about it ....So it is my opinion ...why lie because then you have to cover lies with more lies and he just gets worse ...be honest about who you are and I think people seem to respect me for having the courage to go forth but that's just my opinion and I respect everyone else's! [/quote']

Love this!!!! I feel the same way. I wish a few of my friends would have wls I want them to be around for a long time. I hope if they are with me every moment if my journey and can see the amazing results it might inspire them to get healthy, we are only going to get older and have more health problems

Thanks for the laugh . OMG you are putting in my mouth. ... and who's bullying her into something she doesnt want to do ??? WTH ? this is a joke lol and no one is being shamed of anything by not telling! im stating if its going to cause more harm than good in a persons life . Maybe they should think twice before saying anything at all . get it straight and dont put words in my mouth. Thank You

Oye ... let me spell it out for you ...

Go back and re-read the thread ... you are bullying the new person and the person researching WLS into thinking they are required to share their procedure if they are asked. If they don't they could end up like your friend.

a burden on someone's life to constantly be worrying and trying to cover up how they really lost the weight

Half the time when people lie about it , no one. Believes them anyway! So it kind of makes for more gossip and that's what they were trying to avoid in the first place

I feel embarrassed for my friend that has always has to hide behind a fake lie.

I do respect her decision not to say anythingI , just think its easier not to lie .. Lies build up on top of each other

IMO, you are attempting to bully people into doing something they may not want to do by not respecting how she has chosen to to deal with others regarding this issue. I'm sure there are aspects of my decisions in my life you would find objectionable and there are decisions in your life I would find objectionable. Love and tolerance is what I would want from you as my friend.

I promise to love and be tolerant of you and your life's choices whether or not you are tolerant of mine.

** hugs **

This is better then a soap opera

I never understand why people lie about the surgery.. I am flat out honest when people ask me how I lost weight ' date=' I don't sugar coat anything . If they don't like it that's there problem not mine. One of my best friends has lost over 100 pounds with the surgery it's been a couple years and she still continues to lie to people ! I just don't get it . I'm proud of my new sleeve and tell everyone that asks . I think it's more of a burden on someone's life to constantly be worrying and trying to cover up how they really lost the weight . Seems like it would just be easier to tell the truth.[/quote']

I won't lie about it - I wouldn't even if I was more inclined to be secretive because, well, I don't lie well My husband laughs because even fibbing for a happy surprise is sometimes tough for me!

In my case, I simply don't choose to share all the details with everyone who asks, much the same as when I had a hysterectomy. If someone asks out of genuine interest or because they are looking to solve their own struggles I may choose to share more details. Otherwise, it is not lying to say I'm on a high protein diet, I've reduced my portion size, and I'm working on getting more exercise. This will be the absolute truth, without sharing my private business more than I wish to.

At this point the ones I care about and wish to be aware either know or will know soon that I'm planning to do this.

Privacy, people! We're still entitled to it if we choose to have it. Just because someone asks a question does NOT mean we have to answer.

This is just my opinion, of course, and you are equally within your rights to tell everyone you meet if that's what you want. Just don't assume that all who choose to keep it quiet are automatically afraid. Some of us just prefer to keep what we perceive as personal to ourselves.

My idea of "bullying" is not what OP did. She presented her viewpoint. She pointed out the problems with lying. Bullying is forcing. She is not forcing.

I would call the flack she is getting from folks bullying.

Invariably, people who accuse others of "judging" are condeming themselves even as they do it. Folks that preach tolerance often have none to give to those who disagree with them.

Why don't you all just leave her alone?

Pile on me, I don't sweat you.

It's just a freakin' forum.

My idea of "bullying" is not what OP did. She presented her viewpoint. She pointed out the problems with lying. Bullying is forcing. She is not forcing.

I would call the flack she is getting from folks bullying.

Invariably' date=' people who accuse others of "judging" are condeming themselves even as they do it. Folks that preach tolerance often have none to give to those who disagree with them.

Why don't you all just leave her alone?

Pile on me, I don't sweat you.

It's just a freakin' forum.[/quote']

Lol this is going no where. Everyone has a right to an opinion, on here just be prepared to either be loved or fought with lol!

My idea of "bullying" is not what OP did. She presented her viewpoint. She pointed out the problems with lying. Bullying is forcing. She is not forcing.

I would call the flack she is getting from folks bullying.

Invariably, people who accuse others of "judging" are condeming themselves even as they do it. Folks that preach tolerance often have none to give to those who disagree with them.

Why don't you all just leave her alone?

Pile on me, I don't sweat you.

It's just a freakin' forum.

I don't think being called a liar is being nice, but at the same time I answered a question and backed it up. It's a discussion and I opined

gmanbat, on March 14, 2013 - 5:49 PM, said:

My idea of "bullying" is not what OP did. She presented her viewpoint. She pointed out the problems with lying. Bullying is forcing. She is not forcing.

I would call the flack she is getting from folks bullying.

Invariably, people who accuse others of "judging" are condeming themselves even as they do it. Folks that preach tolerance often have none to give to those who disagree with them.

Why don't you all just leave her alone?

Pile on me, I don't sweat you.

It's just a freakin' forum.

http://m.youtube.com...h?v=4zFg2qByF4E

Acting.....thank you!!!

Ok, you made me laugh

Look what happens when I don't check the forum for a day! Wow.

So, in my opinion, WLS is like finding religion. New converts to any religion are in one of two camps. Some are so excited they want to run out and tell the whole world, so that maybe someone else can find what they've found. And when people ask what has changed about them, they say they've joined XYZ church. And that okay.

Some people are more private and chose the more solitary route, telling a few close friends or someone who is struggling spiritually and seems to really need an answer. But mostly, they grow in their faith, gain confidence and then after that they may feel more confident sharing.

We are all on the same path to wellness and a new life, regardless of how much, when, and to whom we disclose.

Sent from my iPhone using VST

This is better then a soap opera

If I could eat popcorn I'd be popping it up and eating it big time!

This is better then a soap opera

Lmfao !!!!!! Really !!!!!