I never understand why people lie about the surgery.. I am flat out honest when people ask me how I lost weight , I don't sugar coat anything . If they don't like it that's there problem not mine. One of my best friends has lost over 100 pounds with the surgery it's been a couple years and she still continues to lie to people ! I just don't get it . I'm proud of my new sleeve and tell everyone that asks . I think it's more of a burden on someone's life to constantly be worrying and trying to cover up how they really lost the weight . Seems like it would just be easier to tell the truth.

Anyway, I believe everything was expressed with OP and 3 or 4 individuals... Maybe this thread needs to take a Xanax and calm down.

If I could eat popcorn I'd be popping it up and eating it big time!

Pass the bowl please!!!

Agreed I could care less what people think I tell them I went through hell to lose weight! Proud of my scars!

Good point' date=' Flmama.

One tactic I learned in my hippy days was to go ultra-regressive. Answer like a 3 year old.

"How did you lose the weight?"

"I got less fat"

"Yes, but how did you get less fat?"

"It went away"

"Yes, but what did you do to make it go away?"

"I wanted it to."

"You wanted it too? But how did you lose the weight?"

"I got less fat"

Eventually they will get exasperated and shut up.[/quote']

LMAO! I love that!

Final comment....hopefully. People have to stop blaming the forum when things don't end in their favor. You post a thread here to evoke responses and you just have to suck it up when you get feedback that may be unwanted or an opposite position than yours. Everyone have a fabulous day!

I sure wish I could have lost my weight by just getting sleeved like a few of y'all claim. Personally, I've had to stop eating food I love, count calories, carbs, and YES, WORK MY ASS OFF at the gym. People see the work I do and perhaps this is why no one has ever asked me the rude questions y'all seem to be asked ..

Final comment....hopefully. People have to stop blaming the forum when things don't end in their favor. You post a thread here to evoke responses and you just have to suck it up when you get feedback that may be unwanted or an opposite position than yours. Everyone have a fabulous day!

Oops.. Sorry B&B, I must have been writing while you posted the final (hopefully) posty

Dr. Oz said that bariatric surgery is the most under underperformed surgery. I told everyone that I was having bariatric surgery. I didn't go back to work yet. I am vary proud and happy that I did it.

I sure wish I could have lost my weight by just getting sleeved like a few of y'all claim. Personally, I've had to stop eating food I love, count calories, carbs, and YES, WORK MY ASS OFF at the gym. People see the work I do and perhaps this is why no one has ever asked me the rude questions y'all seem to be asked ..

See, this is it exactly. I've seen a VERY few people who posted here that the weight just fell off with no effort from them and they don't exercise or track what they're eating. I can literally think of 2, and mayyyyyybe a third, that I've seen claim that...if my sleep-deprived MamaBrain isn't doing me wrong.

The way I see it, the sleeve will just be a tool, similar to willpower or a conscience, that FORCES us to eat smaller portions. But it's up to us to do the real work.

I could eat smaller portions all day around the clock like it's my job, and not lose the weight because I'm still eating too much.

I could eat smaller portions that are carb-filled and slide right through, and not lose the weight because I'm not tracking the nutritional value of what I eat.

I could eat smaller portions and still sit my @ss on the couch all day, and not lose the weight because I'm still a lazy bum and more people than not can't lose if they don't add movement to their lives.

All the sleeve is doing, is restricting the amount of (SOME) of the foods that I can eat. It's not keeping me from eating all dang day. It's not keeping me from eating carbs/junk. It's not getting me moving. The only thing it is doing is changing the anatomy of my stomach, so I can't consume an entire pizza in one sitting.

And this might be an unpopular opinion, but frankly, I don't think bariatric surgery is the answer for all fat people. I don't. There are some people who will never see the sleeve (or whatever surgery) as less than the "miracle pill" they've always been searching for...without long-term commitment to their mental health to address their issues, without long-term commitment to moving, without long-term commitment to eating to live rather than living to eat. There is a lot of lip service to that going on, but the actions of those same posters quickly negates it. It's not a miracle pill, it won't be easy for the majority of us, but it gives us the slightest leg up on the diets and treatments we've had in the past...it only addresses one SMALL portion of the problem pie.

So no, I don't think it's anybody's dang business how I'm losing weight and I don't think it's up to me to shout it from the mountaintops and save all the fat people from themselves. Some don't want saving. Some won't put in the effort. The ones who will are already researching and have probably already found this site or others like it.

What I don't understand about this thread is why both sides of the debate get so sensitive about it.

Some of the people who are open about it, get so judgmental about those who aren't. If you can be open about it, then be blessed that you have a support system that allows this...or you have reached a point in your life where you don't care what anyone else thinks.

On the other hand, if you have made the decision to not tell anyone, then stop being so defensive. Who care what anyone says or thinks about you deciding to keep it private. No one walks in your shoes.

I personally am very open with anyone who asks me. I am not offended when people notice my weight loss and ask me how I am doing it! It makes me feel great, and I want to share it with them. I had a friend who lied - out right lied - about what she is doing to lose weight after she had the sleeve. It wasn't because she doesn't want to tell anyone, it is because she is using her weight loss to make money! That anyway you look at it...is so wrong. I am blessed with a great support system all the way around me. If the people in my life weren't supportive.,,I would be all about moving on without them.

So stope being judgmental, defensive, angry...life is so short. Choose to care about relevance.

What I don't understand about this thread is why both sides of the debate get so sensitive about it.

Some of the people who are open about it, get so judgmental about those who aren't. If you can be open about it, then be blessed that you have a support system that allows this...or you have reached a point in your life where you don't care what anyone else thinks.

On the other hand, if you have made the decision to not tell anyone, then stop being so defensive. Who care what anyone says or thinks about you deciding to keep it private. No one walks in your shoes.

I think the "not tellers" are so defensive because you don't see any posts started here that call out other posters or their "friend" (it's always a "friend" who has lost the weight and not told) for being so open about having surgery. And accusing them of being liars or unethical or immoral. Nope, it's only the people who don't tell who are called names and accused of being bad people...even if it's through inference and backhanded compliments. Every few weeks one of these threads pop up with someone who essentially says that it's lying to not tell.

I think the "not tellers" are so defensive because you don't see any posts started here that call out other posters or their "friend" (it's always a "friend" who has lost the weight and not told) for being so open about having surgery. And accusing them of being liars or unethical or immoral. Nope' date=' it's only the people who don't tell who are called names and accused of being bad people...even if it's through inference and backhanded compliments. Every few weeks one of these threads pop up with someone who essentially says that it's lying to not tell.[/quote']

Yeah and I guess my point is...what does it matter. We all mostly don't know each other in real life. If someone is sitting behind their PC in GA making a judgment about you in your life and they don't know you...who cares? Just ignore the thread and move on. Or share an opinion and move on. It isn't worth the stress that this causes. Cause I will tell you, this thread brought out the ugly in a lot of people - vets and newbies.

I learned a life lesson a few years back. I can't control anyone else's actions or behaviors. The only thing I can control, is my reaction to them. The OP was attacked for her opinion. While I completely do not agree with her opinion, I also know that by speaking to her civilly on here, I maybe could have helped change her mind. By coming at her guns ablazing - she is going to just be defensive. And PDXman...I have only been around 6 weeks on here, I know that it must get frustrating for all vets to see threads being rehashed over and over by newbies. But hence the term "newbie". We are learning.

Yeah and I guess my point is...what does it matter. We all mostly don't know each other in real life. If someone is sitting behind their PC in GA making a judgment about you in your life and they don't know you...who cares? Just ignore the thread and move on. Or share an opinion and move on. It isn't worth the stress that this causes. Cause I will tell you, this thread brought out the ugly in a lot of people - vets and newbies.

I learned a life lesson a few years back. I can't control anyone else's actions or behaviors. The only thing I can control, is my reaction to them. The OP was attacked for her opinion. While I completely do not agree with her opinion, I also know that by speaking to her civilly on here, I maybe could have helped change her mind. By coming at her guns ablazing - she is going to just be defensive. And PDXman...I have only been around 6 weeks on here, I know that it must get frustrating for all vets to see threads being rehashed over and over by newbies. But hence the term "newbie". We are learning.

I guess we all must think when someone says "why lie?" Or "I don't understand" they are actually looking for a conversation about it vs. just asking a rhetorical where they don't expect any replies or answers. Our bad.

flmama,

Your pocess has gone so quickly. I started way back in December also and my paket was just submitted to insurance. They said it could take 30-60 days!!

And PDXman...I have only been around 6 weeks on here, I know that it must get frustrating for all vets to see threads being rehashed over and over by newbies. But hence the term "newbie". We are learning.

Oh, I know ...

Believe me, I love all the newbies more than anyone can know. It is the newbies that become the vets who continue to support all the other newbies. For the most part, I stay away from these threads which, as you can tell, is very polarizing.

I think IAmDeborah summed it up nicely in THIS post. People who have found the "answer" want to share the good news with everyone who will listen and can't understand why everyone else wouldn't want to do it to. It reminds me of my father. He loved having children (had 6) so much he often proselytized the virtues of being a parent and would tell you to your face what a dis-service you were doing to yourself and those around you by not having children.

Of course, those who choose not to have children do so for their own reasons. They have been on their own journey in life and have their own reasons for not having kids. When asked about their reproduction status, as happens constantly when couples don't have kids, are they responsible for sharing something they want to keep private? Is it wrong for them to even tell a white lie to protect their privacy? What if you overhear this conversation with your friend and you know she has fertility issues. Is it your responsiblity to tell her she is lying ... that she should share her journey because somebody else may also be suffering infertility issues and could benefit from her story? Whose job is it to determine whether this information is shared?

As for myself, I don't care at this point. I do share with most folks now that I am at goal. Even when I am not asked. As I have pointed out a few times, my concern is with the person researching WLS or the freshly sleeved individual who, because of the strong nature and language of the OP, feels coerced into doing something they may not feel comfortable doing. That if they decide to keep a personal matter private, they are lying. I just don't think that is fair and is irresponsible. We have to remember, there are hundreds if not thousands of people who merely browse these forums never joining or posting. They are researching and figuring out what the procedure is all about. It is my belief they should come away from the forum knowing that it is their decision to divulge whatever information they want to whoever they want. As has been pointed out on this thread and dozens of others, many people believe saying "reduced portion sizes (carbs ... whatever) and exercise" is not lying. I agree.

The OP has said I (or others) have put words in her mouth or twisted them. I have been quoting her postings, so I don't know how I could have done that, but ... That is fine. It seems she has softened her tune, which I appreciate.

GMan, you know I love you, but I, too, must disagree with your disagreement that this is not a form of bullying. Per wiki, bullying is: the use of force or coercion to abuse or intimidate others. Calling someone a liar is coercion to change their behavior.

So, in about two more weeks, this topic will be posted again. Perhaps I will be smart enough to avoid this serenity trap.