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Obsessing over cheating



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I did so well yesterday. I ate well for Breakfast lunch and dinner. And then at 9 I went to a friends house to catch up with some old girlfriends. I was not hungry or thirsty. I was fine!! But I ate. I had some small pieces of chicken from a Chinese chicken salad, a no-pudge (low fat) brownie, some veggies, and a spoonful of this ambrosia. Overall it wasn't as much as I would eat without a sleeve. They had pizza and wine and chips which I didn't have any but I felt so disgusted with my BEHAVIOR more than my food choices. By the end of the night it was like I ate a cup of food total. Ok fine maybe not a ton of calories. But it was the impulsivity. I didn't feel restriction and I felt like a kid released to recess. I just ran around grazin g on things. I just have been doing so well packing my own food and eating and I just hate that I get this urge (usually at night) I binge eat even if its a little. I can't just not eat even if I'm not hungry. I feel like I always cheat in some little way whether its eating a cracker or eating a little more when I'm by hungry. I'm disgusted with myself and just worry I lost my restriction because yesterday felt so unrestrained

How do I start over again???:0/

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I did so well yesterday. I ate well for Breakfast lunch and dinner. And then at 9 I went to a friends house to catch up with some old girlfriends. I was not hungry or thirsty. I was fine!! But I ate. I had some small pieces of chicken from a Chinese chicken salad, a no-pudge (low fat) brownie, some veggies, and a spoonful of this ambrosia. Overall it wasn't as much as I would eat without a sleeve. They had pizza and wine and chips which I didn't have any but I felt so disgusted with my BEHAVIOR more than my food choices. By the end of the night it was like I ate a cup of food total. Ok fine maybe not a ton of calories. But it was the impulsivity. I didn't feel restriction and I felt like a kid released to recess. I just ran around grazin g on things. I just have been doing so well packing my own food and eating and I just hate that I get this urge (usually at night) I binge eat even if its a little. I can't just not eat even if I'm not hungry. I feel like I always cheat in some little way whether its eating a cracker or eating a little more when I'm by hungry. I'm disgusted with myself and just worry I lost my restriction because yesterday felt so unrestrained

How do I start over again???:0/

One day at a time. That's all you can do. We are all human and prone to make mistakes. Just get back up the next day and do your best.

Just because you are sleeved, doesn't mean you walk on Water. :)

So now after I am sleeved and make the same mistake and beat myself up over it, will you remind me of what I told you? ;)

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I did so well yesterday. I ate well for breakfast lunch and dinner. And then at 9 I went to a friends house to catch up with some old girlfriends. I was not hungry or thirsty. I was fine!! But I ate. I had some small pieces of chicken from a Chinese chicken salad, a no-pudge (low fat) brownie, some veggies, and a spoonful of this ambrosia. Overall it wasn't as much as I would eat without a sleeve. They had pizza and wine and chips which I didn't have any but I felt so disgusted with my BEHAVIOR more than my food choices. By the end of the night it was like I ate a cup of food total. Ok fine maybe not a ton of calories. But it was the impulsivity. I didn't feel restriction and I felt like a kid released to recess. I just ran around grazin g on things. I just have been doing so well packing my own food and eating and I just hate that I get this urge (usually at night) I binge eat even if its a little. I can't just not eat even if I'm not hungry. I feel like I always cheat in some little way whether its eating a cracker or eating a little more when I'm by hungry. I'm disgusted with myself and just worry I lost my restriction because yesterday felt so unrestrained

How do I start over again???:0/

I could have written that, so I do know that fear. I have been doing really well, but lately I can eat a lot more than I could a month ago. I also know that I'm about 10 weeks post op, and I rarely was able to do well on a diet longer than this. I worry that I'll always be one who just "sticks something in my mouth". It would be super easy to do! There is no way this surgery will work for me without ME doing the work. I read that some people on here will lose no matter what, but I know for me, that's not the case. Thanks for the honest post.

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One day at a time. That's all you can do. We are all human and prone to make mistakes. Just get back up the next day and do your best.

Just because you are sleeved' date=' doesn't mean you walk on Water. :)

So now after I am sleeved and make the same mistake and beat myself up over it, will you remind me of what I told you? ;)[/quote']

Thanks. You're right I don't walk on Water although I tread water pretty well. Heehee. I would tell you the same advice too I'm just harder on myself than others I guess. Today was already a better day. I went on a family bike ride and ate healthy. Thanks. And yes I WILL def remind you too!

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I could have written that' date=' so I do know that fear. I have been doing really well, but lately I can eat a lot more than I could a month ago. I also know that I'm about 10 weeks post op, and I rarely was able to do well on a diet longer than this. I worry that I'll always be one who just "sticks something in my mouth". It would be super easy to do! There is no way this surgery will work for me without ME doing the work. I read that some people on here will lose no matter what, but I know for me, that's not the case. Thanks for the honest post.[/quote']

Yes! Really do I have to try everything I see? Where's the control?!! But I guess it's how we bounce back instead of stay in a rut that matters.

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I think that so much of what we do here to change ourselves has less to do with what goes on and more to do with how we react, and how we proceed.

I think it was Aristotle that said we are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.

Obviously, that one cup of food is not going to make or break you, what matters here is if you pick yourself up and start clean tomorrow or not.

There is no magic wand to wave for a clean start, you just... proceed.

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Did you get your sleeve to deprive yourself, or to be able to live your life like a "normal" person? From what I read, you made some great choices. You were able to enjoy a social situation with your friends, you made better choices than you did pre-sleeve and you really didn't even eat that much. You are living! That is okay, it is okay to enjoy life. It is okay to enjoy the occasional splurge, go out with friends, have a few drinks, etc. as long as most of the time you make healthier choices. You did nothing wrong, there is nothing to feel guilty about.

Sent from my iPad using VST

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Did you get your sleeve to deprive yourself' date=' or to be able to live your life like a "normal" person? From what I read, you made some great choices. You were able to enjoy a social situation with your friends, you made better choices than you did pre-sleeve and you really didn't even eat that much. You are living! That is okay, it is okay to enjoy life. It is okay to enjoy the occasional splurge, go out with friends, have a few drinks, etc. as long as most of the time you make healthier choices. You did nothing wrong, there is nothing to feel guilty about.

Sent from my iPad using VST[/quote']

This really helped. You're right. Thank you! Before I would have had wine and pizza and sampled every dessert they had. I feel understood. Thanks.

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I think that so much of what we do here to change ourselves has less to do with what goes on and more to do with how we react' date=' and how we proceed.

I think it was Aristotle that said we are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.

Obviously, that one cup of food is not going to make or break you, what matters here is if you pick yourself up and start clean tomorrow or not.

There is no magic wand to wave for a clean start, you just... proceed.[/quote']

I def agree. I made sure the next day I did better

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I think that so much of what we do here to change ourselves has less to do with what goes on and more to do with how we react' date=' and how we proceed.

I think it was Aristotle that said we are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.

Obviously, that one cup of food is not going to make or break you, what matters here is if you pick yourself up and start clean tomorrow or not.

There is no magic wand to wave for a clean start, you just... proceed.[/quote']

I def agree. I made sure the next day I did better

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I think the mere fact that you felt guilty (though you didn't do anything wrong) shows the progress you've made. For me, the surgery represents a new lease on life. I was sleeved on 2/22. I am looking forward to riding my bicycle more than eating something I shouldn't. IMO, we have all been given second chances. How much we take advantage of it is up to us. Personally, I look at restaurant commercials with contempt. That food that looks so good is really poison. I think deep down we all know what choices to make to live a longer, healthier life. The longer we do the right thing, the less we will be tempted.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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