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Hello everyone!

My name is Erin, I'm 26, and I live in Texas. I'm 6 ft tall and I'm starting this journey at 367 lbs. I have a wonderful and supportive SO that I live with along with three crazy cats. I have told him, my three closest friends, and my parents about my decision to have WLS. I don't plan on telling anybody else because this is very personal and I don't need people's opinions thrown in my face. I might not even tell my boss because he doesn't need his nose all up in my personal business. I can take a week's PTO if I please! :)

I had originally wanted to get the surgery done during spring break, but I'm SO glad I didn't go ahead with that. I wasn't ready!!

The psychologist that did my psyche eval recommended that I work with a grad student that is doing her training clinicals at his office because he said that I suffer from a binge eating disorder and need to treat it. He said that it was actually atypical binge eating disorder which means that I don't typically eat a huge amount all at once, but I just graze repeatedly in a short period of time which is unfortunately one of the easiest and most sure-fire ways to sabotage the long-term success of the sleeve, so the sooner I deal with it the better. I think I was in denial about my binge eating, but I cannot ignore this any longer because there's NO way I'm going to have major life-threatening surgery just to sabotage it with stupid bad patterns later. I am one of the grad student's very first patients ever which is super cool. :)

I also just hadn't quite wrapped my head around the idea of surgery yet. I mean, I've been contemplating surgery ever since I was 12, but I always figured it would never actually happen for me. I've been obese ever since I was 8 years old, so I just had this belief that this is who I *am* and who I will always be. This belief was deeply ingrained because even before I became fat at 8, I was still larger than all the other kids because of how tall I was. So when I became fatter than them too, it just didn't really seem all that different. But when I reached 360 on the scales and my doctors were telling me that all of my health problems are caused or at least worsened by my weight (asthma, pcos), and my blood pressure started reading in the borderline high regions, I decided to just jump.

I still have so many fears: fears about the actual surgery, fears about leaks and infections and other complications, fears about developing GERD or stomach ulcers after surgery, fears about not being able to drink milk or tolerate spicy foods after surgery, fears about the emotional toll of not being able to comfort-eat, fears about loose skin, fears about failing. But I think now I have enough time to be in the right place mentally to make this surgery work for me long-term.

I'm also really glad to have enough time to get to know some of my fellow May-sleevers to have some people to talk to who are at the same stage as me! :) So, what about you? Tell us about yourself, who you've told, describe your journey so far, and tell us about your thoughts and fears about the surgery!

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Nice to meet you Erin!! I am hoping for a May date. I am so happy I found a board that is more specific. I kept seeing People who were Post op and I was so jealous. I give you props for not telling people!! I had to tell my friends of course and a few other people I told at work (which I regret).

I was supposed to have been operated on. However, it was so hard to get a psyc eval!! I really don't mind though. I could go sooner. However, I am a teacher and the state tests are at the end of April.

That is great you are working on your binge eating...we are similar! The whole grazing repeatedly sounds more like me. Also something to think about post op....

Have you looked at shakes, bars, Vitamins? ?

I think fears are normal!! I just actually switched from getting a band to getting sleeved...so I am def nervous and fearful of the whole experience.

Talk to you soon!!!!!!

I want one of those tracker things!

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Hi Erin. I'm scheduled for April but when I read your post I related to everything you were saying so much I feel as though I was reading my own thoughts.

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Hi everyone,

I'm Mady. I have been heavy pretty much all of my life. My lowest weight as a teenager was 145, of course I would kill or that now but at 14 it was actually considered heavy. By 17, I hit 180. Got a boyfriend, got on birth control and within a month hit 202, and just kept steadily creeping up. When I was 26, I tried Lindora medical weight loss clinic and dropped 60 lbs in 6 months. My starting weight was 235, my "heaviest" then and I got down to 175. Not even a week after hitting 175 I found out I was pregnant with my first. Wouldn't you know it, I gained the whole 60 lbs during that pregnancy. I felt discouraged and held onto the weight through two more pregnancies eventually hitting 253. Tried a few more Lindora programs in between, lost some, gained some. Now I now have three beautiful sons, a gorgeous husband who loves to run 6-7 miles a day and the occasional marathon (same boyfriend from when I was 17) and I am ready to take charge of my life. I am 35 years old and feel like its Now time to do or die for me. Unfortunately, at 35, the weight doesn't come off nearly as easily as it once did. My weight is a daily struggle and battle for me, as I'm sure it is for most of us.

I started my journey Feb 1. My starting weight is 236.5, my goal weight is 145. I'm hoping, praying and crossing my fingers and toes for a May 1 surgery. I have made some changes to my diet, am currently eating 1200 calories a day, lots of Protein bars as meal supplements or Snacks and have started working out. Currently I walk 10 miles a week (2.5 miles 4x a week). My goal go this year is to run a 5k with my husband by December, 10k by 2014 and who knows maybe a marathon is in my future. Thus far I have lost 9 lbs and have had to do it with blood, sweat and tears.

I'm not scared of surgery per se. I'm scared of changing the configuration of my stomach. I'm scared of eating 3-4 tablespoons of food for the rest of my life. I'm scared of puking from a taste of cake. But mostly I'm sad that I can't just be normal.

That is me in a nutshell and I look forward to taking this journey with you all.

-M

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Hi ladies! I started to gain like crazy after my second pregnancy :( I've tried so many different diet plans and lost the same 10-20 # over and over. I've been thinking about WLS for almost 3 years, but had lots of reasons why it was not a good idea. Finally this winter my two girls went skiing with their Dad while I got to sit like a lump in the lodge for 5 hours.....big, sad sigh. At 47....the time has come to end this! I want to feel good, be healthy and do things with my girls before its too late. I am blessed to have my husband's insurance so it was easy to meet their criteria. So far, my surgery is scheduled for May 20th. I still have to meet with psych and the Nut. I can't wait!!!! :-)

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Hi everyone. My story is pretty much the same. I was at my smallest in college as the weight seemed to drop away - problem was I didn't maintain it. Through my 30s I stayed within 20 lbs 170-190.

I am now 44 (almost 45) and three years ago my life changed directions in a way I never dreamed. We got custody of my husbands grandson - a year later his half sister. I became instant mommy overnight to toddlers and all the work I did for myself went out the window with my time and money! I have managed to gain 50 lbs and am absolutely miserable. The 230 is my highest weight.

My oldest started kindergarten this year and I was sad when I realized I could not keep up. I adore these children they are an amazing blessing I never imagined - but they need me here.....and healthy.

I'm am telling a small group of good friends and family but that's it. It's not anyone else's business.

My biggest fear........failure.

I'm in Texas. Where are y'all?

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Ps. I have quit smoking which I struggle with everyday. At this point know I have to take a blood test in three weeks is what is keeping me "sober" so to speak.

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Hi Anniemay! I'm stuck in cold...windy upstate NY near Utica! When the doc told me that I was good to start....I quit smoking then and there. I finally have hope and something to reach for! I so want to do normal stuff with my girls....and just be healthy!

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I know - not smoking is already changing my health. Walking is easier. I'm not losing my breathe as quickly.

Now that said - everyday due recent events I have gotten REALLY pissed off about not smoking. I get through it but I'm not happy about it. I hope this passes too.

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I know - not smoking is already changing my health. Walking is easier. I'm not losing my breathe as quickly.

Now that said - everyday due recent events I have gotten REALLY pissed off about not smoking. I get through it but I'm not happy about it. I hope this passes too.

It will be hard, and I know there will be times it will be hard forever! But I wanted to say that I think it's fantastic that you've quit!! Obviously it will make you healthier, but it's such a good mental and emotional step to take too! Getting our heads in the right place before surgery is so important and you've already started making the hard choices on your path to be healthy!! food will be an easy change compared to the steps you've already taken!! :) Congratulations!

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It will be hard' date=' and I know there will be times it will be hard forever! But I wanted to say that I think it's fantastic that you've quit!! Obviously it will make you healthier, but it's such a good mental and emotional step to take too! Getting our heads in the right place before surgery is so important and you've already started making the hard choices on your path to be healthy!! food will be an easy change compared to the steps you've already taken!! :) Congratulations![/quote']

Thanks a friend of mine today suggested I start tracking the $$ I am saving and use it towards something special. Wasn't hard to sell me that! I'm thinking a Dooney & Burke satchel that I would otherwise never be able to afford!!!

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That's an awesome idea!!!! :) You would definitely deserve it!!

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Hello everyone I am scheduled for surgery May 7 and it has just become real to me. I am 246 lbs (most ever) 58 years old and feel 80 some days re knee and hip pains. I too want to keep up my our grandchildren and enjoy retirement in a few years.

Overweight for many many years and nervous of leaks, eating those small portions and how my life and interactions with friends and family will change. It is sad to realize how much time is spent eating and drinking with these folks!

The unknown is also a worry...pain level, complications, failure, 12 yards of extra skin! But we will get thru all this...together! there is so much info on these forums hard to imagine not finding the answers we need.

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Hello everyone I am scheduled for surgery May 7 and it has just become real to me. I am 246 lbs (most ever) 58 years old and feel 80 some days re knee and hip pains. I too want to keep up my our grandchildren and enjoy retirement in a few years.

Overweight for many many years and nervous of leaks' date=' eating those small portions and how my life and interactions with friends and family will change. It is sad to realize how much time is spent eating and drinking with these folks!

The unknown is also a worry...pain level, complications, failure, 12 yards of extra skin! But we will get thru all this...together! there is so much info on these forums hard to imagine not finding the answers we need.[/quote']

Hi Debs1954! It is amazing how much time my family spends eating...talking...and eating. I've watched the kids though and they do it so differently. They eat slowww and do lots of talking in between. I think I'm going to try that. It works for my girls! I need to actively make food less of a priority that it has been. If I can put food in it's place....I think it will be much easier. I'm 47 and scheduled for May 20th. I'm so happy for you. Good luck on your surgery!!

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Hi Debs1954! It is amazing how much time my family spends eating...talking...and eating. I've watched the kids though and they do it so differently. They eat slowww and do lots of talking in between. I think I'm going to try that. It works for my girls! I need to actively make food less of a priority that it has been. If I can put food in it's place....I think it will be much easier. I'm 47 and scheduled for May 20th. I'm so happy for you. Good luck on your surgery!!

Good luck to you too! We could all learn alot from your kids! Exercise is going to be a hurdle for me...ashamed to admit I am such a couch potato

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
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    • Doughgurl

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      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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