Mine is not getting his butt in gear to get the paperwork ready for his passport card I am tired of arguing, my mom wants to go with me instead, the boyfriend does not want to be alone with the twins while i am away, any suggestions? He is their stepdad, my husband died from cancer when I was three months pregnant. He does love me and the kids.

My only suggestion, is its about you! If he cant get his butt in gear, then what has to be done has to be done....yet its up to you! As I prepare to,have my surgery this time nxt Friday, I really dont have time for anything that looks like a purposeful hindrance...

I agree, he sounds selfish and immature. he doesnt want to babysit his own kids. Take your Mom. She will be more attentive. I wish you much luck and a resolution. Oh and health.

dump the dude.. mom is always there for you. cant watch his own kids? ... then he shouldnt of helped make them if he didnt want the responsiblitly.. sorry just saying... its true this is about you.. he should be supportive.. not a debbie downer....onward to a new you and a new life.. you will be shocked and amazed at the results.. you get a do over.. take it and run lol.. best of luck to you.

Show him the door. Also, I wouldn't leave the kids with him if he's going to be bitter and resentful about it. that wouldn't be fair for them. I'd take a friend, aunt etc, leave mom with the kids and dump the boy.

Not saying you should dump your boyfriend but you're going to need enthusiastic, ready support while you're having surgery and the days following. Take someone that you know is going to be there for you. Daddy will manage with his children. We all do things we don't want to do.... he'll be alright. This is for you... arrange things so that you know you won't worry and then go have your surgery.

Get a new boyfriend AFTER you take care of yourself! Don't settle!

I think sometimes the passive aggressie behaviors like this are really their way of expressing their fears/concerns for us. My guy is not onboard with my surgery and so I could totally see him doing something like that. I know he's doing it out of fear and concern but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with! Make your plans without him. Hire a sitter to come over, find friends the kids can bunk with, whatever. As another poster said, do what you gotta do. Eventually when you are a lighter version of yourself he will either turn out to be your newest cheerleader or maybe he'll show he's not the one for you.

He is their stepdad, my husband died before boys born

**aggressive**

Maybe you could ask him which one he would rather do, take care of you or the twins. that way it's his decision. or try the old reverse psychology. Very nicely let him know that your Mom has offered to go take care of you and that you've lined up another reliable relative or friend to watch the twins. And just go along your happy way and see if he comes around. He may be a little insecure about you having the surgery and that's causing his attitude. just my two cents. either way, you know Mom will take the best care of you. good luck!

regardless of "step" Dad I don't even know why you would point that out and why would even want to settle for someone that wants only to be a STEP dad when their dad is not living. Your children deserve better. They deserve a dad that wants and accepts them 210% of the time.

Ok on to you post. I would tell him if he doesn't have his card by ____ date then he has to stay home and your mom is going. I don't understand why woman try to mother the men they are with. Is he an adult? if he doesn't get his passport card can be go? Who's fault is it in the end? So just walk away.

I still wouldn't leave my children with someone who doesn't want to watch them. I can imagine. He wouldn't be very nice to then or he'd be nice bit they could pick up on his negativity. I'd never do that to my children.

Get a new boyfriend AFTER you take care of yourself! Don't settle!

+1

I still wouldn't leave my children with someone who doesn't want to watch them. I can imagine. He wouldn't be very nice to then or he'd be nice bit they could pick up on his negativity. I'd never do that to my children.

I agree. I am a stepmom myself. My stepson has a mom, and I've never tried to usurp her role, but that does not mean I don't play a part in helping to raise him. He's my family...

You don't babysit your children. You take care of them.

Amanda Rae

Thank you, I hate when I hear "babysit"when it comes to men watching there own children!!

And that goes for "stepfathers" too. Taking care of the children is something both parents do, it is not just the mothers job. And if my husband did not want to care for our children he would not be my husband