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hello, all. i hope this isn't innapropriate, but i am desperate for some advice. you see, i am not a patient, i'm the spouse of a lovely woman who had her sleeve done 6 days ago. i can't find anyone locally who can provide any info aside from her doctor who is rarely available. besides, i need some real answers, not just textbook stuff.

she is in an incredible amount of pain. i'm talking sobbing, pain meds every 3 1/2 hours, exhausting pain. she's spoken with her surgeon twice, and an on call doc a couple of times too. so far they've just reccommened taking milk of magnesia which has worked some. a couple of summers ago her gallbladder died inside of her and sent her to the er for emergency surgery to remove what was a liquified, gangrenous gallbladder and surrounding tissue so she knows pain. none of the doctors around her believed her when she complained about the pain for months prior, blamed it on her "seeking attention" and she's afraid that the doctors are just ignoring her all over again. she walks as much as she can, and takes in a good amount of liquids (water, sf popscicles, etc.) i keep trying to tell her that this too shall pass and one day she'll look back and none of this will matter. this doesn't help. she totally regrets going through with this and i just can't seem to pull her out of it.

she was discharged from the hospital this past saturday and she went home to her dad's sunday morning (i went to my parents house for the holidays) her dad put her in a room downstairs and kept all of her Protein and pain meds upstairs (two flights) and told her that if she wanted her meds or food, she'd have to come get them. i get what his intention was, but this seemed extreme to me. so, i cut my family time short and brought her home today. unfortunately she got in maybe 20 oz of protein total in the past 3 days. does that account for some of her pain? i'm doing my best to try and get her to take in what she needs, but she's an adult and i can't force her. she got in quite a bit today since 2pm, but simply refused anything else around 8pm which put her at only 7 oz of greek yogurt cut with milk. i'd have to find my protein calculation sheet to see what amount of protein that equated to. she won't eat much else. she got in some Tomato Soup, but that has very little protein in it. what worked for you guys? i'm looking for maximum protein here. she claims she can taste/feel the unflavored Unjury and it seems to take so much of that powder to get in a good amount of protein in 2-4 oz.

she also has a jp drain in and i'm told that when that comes out (friday, thank god) she'll feel a whole lot better. i hope so. in the past two days she's been draining a lot more. it's the same color and consistancy, just more. is this a concern? will it prevent them from taking the drain out on friday?

she's just so discouraged. she's lost a lot of weight already, i can tell, but it since she appears to have lost it so unhealthily (no protein, stressed and sobbing at her dad's, vomiting for three days) we're both having a hard time seeing it as a good thing. i know it's good, it was just how it happened that sucks.

what can i do to help her? what do i say?

again, i hope this post was okay. i know that this is a support group for people who actually received the surgery and i am so happy that places like this exist, but the more days that pass the more i wish there was a group for the partners and supporters too.

sorry for such a long post, i am just so lost. any help/advice is greatly appreciated.

thank you.

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First never ever leave your wife with her father ever again :( how horribly cruel he was both physically and mentally :( :(

Now the drain hurts, its like heaven when it is gone. So that may help.

Stay on top of her pain. Take the pain med as scheduled do not wait til she hurts.

Don't force Protein or foods right now. She is healing. Encourage sipping of fluids, Water, gatorade, sf popsicles.

Filling her tummy with yogurt or protein will just make her miserable right now. If she asks for a bite or a lick, let her have that...she definitely shouldn't be forcing protein right now. Fluids fluids fluids.

Glad she has you. Take care of her.

Let her know that drain removal should help so much!

Most people are on liquids for two weeks so be gentle.

At 6 days focus on fluids in small sips through out the day.

When you start her on thinned Protein Drinks try Premier Protein ready to drink shakes from sams or costco.< /p>

Never push intake but be consistent with Fluid. Aim for an ounce every 20 minutes or so but don't be a drill seargent ;)

She is lucky to have you!

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First off you are more then welcome here. This is a big lift change for everyone and its great you are looking for answers for her. She is lucky to have someone so caring. I am so sorry she's going through all this pain. I had quite a bit of pain after my surgery (I read about all sorts of people who had zero pain post op so I was kind of horrified by how much it hurt) when I came home the first few days were a struggle. If she is honestly in that much pain though I would reccomend going to an ER. 6 days is a long time to be in severe pain. By day 6 things had gotten to a tolerable level for me. I don't want to scare you, but when in doubt go to the ER.

You said she has been vomiting has she been able to keep down anything at all? That worries me. That early out though the focus shouldn't be on getting Protein in but fluids. Protein is important yet, but fluids are number one. Keep her hydrated. Soup, even soup lacking protein is okay at that point. I was eating mostly cream based Soups at that point per my drs orders (was on full liquids) but honestly I worry about her pain level. If things do not improve please don't hesitate to take a trip the ER. I'm sending good thoughts to you and her!

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Hi! I'm at day 19 post op and I was off pain meds by day 6. She shouldn't be in pain other than soreness from stomach incisions. I was told by my doctor only one flight of stairs to second floor was ok, once or twice a day. Yes, we need to walk to avoid blood clots, but other than walking, No exercise until after 6 weeks.

I do not have a drain, so I cannot help you there. At that time, I ate cream of chicken, cream of asparagus, unjury chicken Soup flavor (my fav). greek yogurts, strained oatmeal with almond milk.

I use myfitnesspal.com which can also be accessed from a smart phone app. It counts all Protein for you when you add what you ate or you can scan the bar code on your food product and it automatically counts Protein for you. My doctor said 60-80 grams a day.

The easiest Protein shakes are Isopure 0carb 40grams of protein per bottle. You can buy at GNC. Or Premier Protein sold in cartons of individual drinks at Cosco. 30grams of Protein per shake.

I hope this helps!!

Liz

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thank you guys. i was pretty horrified when she told me what her dad was doing. i should've never let her go there, but i really thought that he would step up. he loves her, he just pushes way too hard. see, now i'm getting conflicting advice. not from you guys, but others. they had her drinking yogurt cut with milk in the hospital, so she shouldn't be doing that yet? because i am totally cool with her just having Water and popscicles to her hearts content. upon discharge we were told that she had to get in a minimum of 50 grams of Protein a day. in fact they kept her in the hospital for several hours after she was supposed to leave becasue they said she hadn't had enough protein. i certainly don't push. if for no other reason than she just doesn't repsond to that. i just suggest. i was under the impression she needed all this protein though. her program was apparently very...odd.

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I use myfitnesspal.com which can also be accessed from a smart phone app. It counts all Protein for you when you add what you ate or you can scan the bar code on your food product and it automatically counts Protein for you. My doctor said 60-80 grams a day.

that is a very good tip there. i will certainly check that out. it hasn't been fun trying to do all that in my head.

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Every surgical team is different, but most from what I've heard and read don't push the Protein until at least week two. I mean don't get me wrong it is absolutly important to get 60+ grams of protein in a day but usually there is a little leway in not pushing it first thing. I would honestly just make sure she is getting in liquids and not have her force the protein yet.

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You said she has been vomiting has she been able to keep down anything at all?

she can definitely keep things down. most of the vomiting came up immediately following occasions where her dad or other inept family members yelled at her or pushed her to do something she couldn't which would cause her to get get crazy upset and stressed out. even before surgery that how she responded to stress so i'm sure that's where it came from. she hasn't vomited since i brought her home.

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she can definitely keep things down. most of the vomiting came up immediately following occasions where her dad or other inept family members yelled at her or pushed her to do something she couldn't which would cause her to get get crazy upset and stressed out. even before surgery that how she responded to stress so i'm sure that's where it came from. she hasn't vomited since i brought her home.

Thank goodness she's home now! That does NOT sound like the place where she needs to be recovering!! As long as she's not throwing up everything I think she'll be okay. Some people just have a lot more pain then others. I didn't have a drain so I can't comment on that. See how she feels after she has the drain taken out.

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She should sip on whatever she can tolerate. When we say not to focus on Protein right now, it's because the most important thing is not to become dehydrated. That would cause all sorts of problems. As long as she is sipping on liquids, the Protein will come along as she heals, within the next few weeks.

Has she found any protein drinks that she likes?

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