I am getting sleeved in the spring of 2013. I am getting married in the summer of 2014. My fiance and I have never had sex. I have had sex before and have a child. He is a virgin. I do not want to have sex with him until I have lost a lot of weight because I want it to be both of our "first time". I figure having sex with an entirely new body is going to be like having sex for the first time all over again. I have a friend who told me that I am nuts, that the only thing that's going to be different about me is that everything is going to be saggy instead of plump. So I guess my question is this, is the sex different after you lose the weight. And keep in mind, I weigh over 400 pounds so there is a lot of weight to lose. I really will be a completely different person!

yes sex will be be different because you will have more confidence in your new skin!!! Even if you have excess it will be ok because your new hubby will love you regardless! Wish you many unforeseen blessings in your life!

If you search "sex," you will find a ton of threads ain't how great sex is afterwards!!! I have yet to experience it, but I think the answer to your question is "yes!"

As for skin, yes, you'll probably have some skin. Do you see plastics in your future?

I can't speak for others but I can say that yes, sex is better for me when I'm thinner.

However, I also could not imagine marrying someone before knowing if we were sexually compatible. Especially a virgin. I know that wasn't your question, but it's just my unsolicited 2 cents.

So, if I were you, I would get busy now and hopefully enjoy how things improve as you shrink and he gets more practice. But, I'm not you - so do whatever makes you both happy.

For him the no sex before marriage is a religious thing. I personally believe in "try it before you buy it". At the same time, I know what I like and how to get there. If I have to teach him that, well, at least I know in the end I will get exactly what I want lol. It just may take a little bit to get him there.

Also, and this is just me I guess, I don't want his first time having sex to be "fat sex". I don't know about you guys, but at over 400 pounds sex for me is hands and knees from behind and boring. It just isn't possible any other way. There is no thrill in it for me at all. I would like both of us to be able to enjoy our first time together. I don't want that to be the memory of his first time :-(

Bravo for not jumping into bed at the first opportunity. Honestly, it's a rare gem these days. My understanding is that sex is much better after being sleeved, but I've yet to actually experience it myself since my surgery so I'm only going by the many threads I have read on here rather than from personal experience. From what I've heard, even a bit of excess skin won't put a damper on the improvement in sex that comes with a smaller body. In either case, I wish you and your future hubby all the best!

Where do you guys get those awesome tickers from that show how much you have to lose?

Sex has always been off the chart for me, it was good before and is good now. I've never had any problems in this area.

I am getting sleeved in the spring of 2013. I am getting married in the summer of 2014. My fiance and I have never had sex. I have had sex before and have a child. He is a virgin. I do not want to have sex with him until I have lost a lot of weight because I want it to be both of our "first time". I figure having sex with an entirely new body is going to be like having sex for the first time all over again. I have a friend who told me that I am nuts' date=' that the only thing that's going to be different about me is that everything is going to be saggy instead of plump. So I guess my question is this, is the sex different after you lose the weight. And keep in mind, I weigh over 400 pounds so there is a lot of weight to lose. I really will be a completely different person! [/quote']

If you are with the right person, sex is always good. That being said, if you lose weight, you will likely have more energy for all physical things...including sex. Also, keep in mind that sex changes over the course of every relationship, so your story really isn't that different from everyone else's. Your wedding night sex will not be typical of sex throughout your marriage. Good luck and God bless!

Ticker- Go to the top of the page and click on your user name. The ticker part is on the bottom left of the list that comes up. It is kinda fun to set up!

Ok I don't mean to step on any toes. But my wife's sister and her husband (Neither were virgins) waited to have sex due to the religious beliefs until after marriage. They were recently Saved before meeting. (Pentecostal) But after the honey moon She came back home crying because it wasn't very magical. They've been married now for 16years because marriage is a one time thing with there beliefs (and I agree married 15 yrs. myself i have an awesome wife) But her sister and husband have been miserable for 16 years and stopped having sex after the first year when she got preagnant they'll both tell that was the last time. I also know another young couple same thing both were virgins they've been married about 6 months now and things aren't going to good in that dept at all. I was not a virgin when I got married and neither was my wife but if nothing else was going to be guaranteed in our marriage sexual compatibility was because we tested it for 2 years before we got married avg. 3 to 4 times a day. (We were young) now it's just 2 times a day Working back up to 3 to 4 a day since I've lost 98lbs in the last 6 months. I would hate to get married not knowing if that part is going to be good. For men as you know it's crucial although my wife's right there with me. to me why have the possibility of extra stress after getting married. I agree try it before you buy it for life.

I disagree with the last three posts. I think if you are friends to begin with, in the bedroom after marriage, you will be able to discover what pleases both of you. It's a process. I think the reason there is so much divorce in the world is that people who get married do not communicate. If you want to make sure that you are compatible on any level, you should work on communication now. If you are too afraid to tell the other person what you want or what you need, you will fail in the bedroom as well as in other ways. I would recommend you google the FOCCUS. It is a non-denominational organization which does an extensive pre-marriage "inventory" (how you will handle all facets of your life, including money, children, etc). You and your fiance do the inventory separately and then your answers are compared by a computer program for compatibility. After that, you meet with a married couple who talk to you about areas where you are compatible and areas where you may be less compatible. It gets you to talk about these things before getting married. I am fairly certain that if all couples did this before marriage, there would be less divorce. And, since you have a child already, if you can spare him any unnecessary grief, why wouldn't you?

If she wasn't a virgin' date=' why would she think for a second it would be "magical". This isn't the movies.

I call bullshit.[/quote']

What do you call bullshit on. If you must know she was 19 and he was 34 she felt as if him being older he should have been experianced but she was saying he had a premature problem and even when he didnt he was clueless. They were good friends before the marriage now there just together. By magical I meant she expected her world to be rocked and she didnt even get a nudge.

I disagree with the last three posts. I think if you are friends to begin with' date=' in the bedroom after marriage, you will be able to discover what pleases both of you. It's a process. I think the reason there is so much divorce in the world is that people who get married do not communicate. If you want to make sure that you are compatible on any level, you should work on communication now. If you are too afraid to tell the other person what you want or what you need, you will fail in the bedroom as well as in other ways. I would recommend you google the FOCCUS. It is a non-denominational organization which does an extensive pre-marriage "inventory" (how you will handle all facets of your life, including money, children, etc). You and your fiance do the inventory separately and then your answers are compared by a computer program for compatibility. After that, you meet with a married couple who talk to you about areas where you are compatible and areas where you may be less compatible. It gets you to talk about these things before getting married. I am fairly certain that if all couples did this before marriage, there would be less divorce. And, since you have a child already, if you can spare him any unnecessary grief, why wouldn't you?[/quote']

I agree with this as well me and my wife were good friends for 8 yrs before marriage. I introduced her to two of her former boy friends (awkward now when we run in to them) I know more about my wife than I ever should have but I think it makes us stronger together there are no skeletons.

I do know her sister and her husband do not communicate well at all with each other. They both have confided in us about there intimate problems. When we got them together to talk about it she blames him for it all and is very mean and graphic even to his face about his inadequacies she is now 35 and him 50 they have built walls and are abusive verbally. Mainly her though and shes quick to say it started on there honeymoon. I dont believe in divorce but I dont believe god wants us to live in misery either. To me just these two have spent a good chunk of there life miserable. Sex is by no means what a marriage should be based on but a cloesness I do feel is and sex is part of that if the peoole are able. Just my 2 cents.

Sex after losing the excess weight is infinitely better, as far as I am concerned. Yes, I have loose skin. But as far as participating fully, that counts for a lot.

I see nothing wrong with waiting for marriage. I would imagine you have had conversations about his views on sexuality and feel you will be compatible. It wouldn't be for me - but it takes all kinds!