My Biggest Fear - I Need Your Advice

[WestTexasGal 15]

My surgery is in 6 days (10/31), so last night I began writing a "Letter to Me" as suggested by my doctor. (Obviously, the purpose is to record the reasons you decided on WLS in case you later have second thoughts or need a bit of motivation to stay on track.)

Writing this letter led me to think about my fears and what I kept returning to was my fear of gaining the weight back. I'm not afraid of the surgery, the pain, or even the drastic changes required in lifestyle and eating choices. I'm not even afraid of not losing weight. I know I'll be successful because I've done it so many times before. What I'm afraid of (we're talking "heart beating out of your chest type fear"), is that I'll gain it all back. (This is certainly exacerbated by the fact that I'm self-pay and having the surgery in the US.)

I'm guessing that I speak for most everyone in their 50's when I say that we've spent much of the past 40 years on one diet or another. And I'm guessing that most of us have had tremendous successes. Those successes are fabulous until they're followed by the inevitable regain, which of course, is followed by doubts and the self-loathing.

I have every intention of following my doctor's orders to a "T", I am optimistic, and frankly excited about this surgery; however, if I'm being truly honest with myself, I'd have to say that in most of my prior weight loss efforts, I had those same feelings. Every single time I was 100% certain that THIS TIME I WILL BE SUCCESSFUL!

Those of you that have fought this battle and are winning (I know it will never be truly "won" and the fight will continue the rest of our lives), what made this experience different? Why did this one succeed when the myriad of other attempts failed? What advice do you have for me? I truly welcome your comments and advice.

Many thanks,

[missrose59 9]

I loved the thought that went into this letter. I cant even get that far because if Im honest, I am afraid. Im afraid of what I may look like after the weight is off. Im afraid of not being able to enjoy dinners with my husband or family. Im also afraid of the surgery itself. I didnt think about any of this until I read your letter. Or if I did I wasnt sure what it was. I normally have no problem following a structured diet and I find myself struggling. I think Im wanting my family to say they approve that thet beleive I can do this. When the truth is I need to believe I can do it.....and I know I can. I just need to get back to that place where I felt so positive. I dont know if this is normal. I am very close to getting a surgery date. I wish you the best of luck, I think you are going to do great. I hope that I can turn things around and get back to the mental state you are at. As for gaining the weight back, I think that going through the whole journey and getting to goal puts you in a different mind frame. You can do this!

Good Luck,

Marcia

sorry if I rambled Im just getting pre surgery nerves

[WestTexasGal 15]

Again, thanks to everyone for the advice as well as the kind words! As we speak, hubby is driving me to the hospital for surgery this morning at 8:30 (central US).

Happy Halloween everyone and see you on the loser's bench!!

[missrose59 9]

Good luck I will be praying for you to have a speedy recovery........ Please keep us posted.

Marcia

[Raven21 121]

Man, can I relate! I have lost 10, 20, 40, even 60 pounds. Only to regain all plus more. I reached a point where I was afraid to diet because I get even bigger as a result every time I do. I had resigned myself to a miserable fat life. I gave up hope.

Every time I lost weight, I think one of the main reasons I gained it all back was because I figured if I lost it once, I could do it again. Unfortunately, no diet or other method has ever worked for me twice. Maybe it was the novelty of a new program, I don't know.

The reason this IS going to work for me is because I know going in that there's no second chance. I can't lose it then justify gaining by saying I can just have another VSG! This is it. This is my last shot at the life I want.

Good luck and home to hear from you soon!

[Ktysor 3]

Hey West Texas! Central Texas here.... My surgery date is Dec 4 and your letter struck very close to home. I hope all went well for you and us nifty fifties will have to stick together.

[taralynneRN59 20]

_{Hey Fellow Texans! I just got my authorization and I can really relate!! I am from Central Texas and my surgery date (as of this morning) is December 10th. I have told my mom and sister because they live nearby and this is affecting our holidays, but I have not told my children who all live out of state for the main reason, I do not want them to know if it fails! I do not want them calling me all of the time to check and see how it is working. I also plan on following everything to a T! I have menu plans down to the times of meals for the pre op and post op phase up to 6 weeks. I am so set on it working, but in the back of my mind is "what if it doesn't work for me"? "what if I can't do it"? Too many years of failing and it really sticks doesn't it? I will start my pre-op on Monday and am determined to succeed. I hope that you all have had good recoveries and things are going well.}

[Neuanfang 26]

Hey everyone,

I found your letter very touching as well as all the comments. My biggest fear and I am pre op is, that I might look 10 years older after all the weight is off and that my husband no longer finds me attractive. I would have to say that I am a little afraid of complications and also if I will still be able to enjoy life without my long and close friend "food". I have also not told my friends or children about the surgery because I don't want anyone to try and stop me from doing it. The alternative to the surgery doesn't sound appealing to me either, since I don't want to be fat for the rest of my life however long that may be. I feel older than I am because of all this weight and I just want to be able to break out of this shell I have hidden in far too long.

I will be following you guys here because I may need a lot of encouragement as I am getting closer to surgery date.

Susanne

[ponyuptexas 4]

Thanks everyone for sharing. Susanne when is your surgery? West Texas Gal how are you doing?