Feel Like I Am Losing Part Of My Identity....

[kelliecalgary 18]

I am not afraid of not being known as the fat girl anymore, that is for sure!

But I feel like I am losing the part of my identity that goes along with food. I have always been the kind of person that will go out to dinner at the drop of a hat with friends or family, will hit up the buffet and try all sorts of new and unique food. I know that these behaviors are the thing that helped me get the size that I was, but part of me is sad to give up all of these things that I used to do. I eat a lot healthier now, and in far smaller quantities as well.

We went to the Taste of Calgary festival this past weekend, and I chose the healthier options there, and would eat a bit or two and give the rest to my hubby. I was offered so many deserts but had no inclination to even have any. I should be happy that I don't want those things anymore, but I just feel like I kind of don't know myself anymore. I feel as though I have lost a part of me on the inside.

Does anyone else feel anything similar to this?

[Katie713 423]

I think we kind of grieve our old relationship with food. It takes time to process this grief. I started this process last Fall 2011 while I was doing 6 months of pre-op supervised diet before qualifying for surgery and choosing foods wisely to meet calorie goals and weight loss required (10%) and keeping food and exercise logs that had to be reviewed with weekly weigh ins. I had to be accountable if I wanted the surgery, and ultimately, to change my life and no longer be one of the fattest women in my circle of contact. I have always loved myself, but my body seemed to be that thing I was ashamed of, privately it was my own hell.

So, this conscious choice to change became paramount. I had to commit, and go through these changes. I'm a foodie at heart and I love to go out like you do, and I love to try new foods, love cooking too....so I had to find what worked for me. Buffets are tough, and of course there is no way to eat enough to justify the cost, but I guess it is paying to just be there hanging out with the people you love and picking at this and that. At the Japanese seafood buffet, I load my plate with steamed clams, as you can kind of take your time with them, but in actuality you are eating very little. Then I might get a bit of sushi (1 or 2) and some tender beef with veggies like bean sprouts, onions, mushrooms cooked on the teppan grill and just eat it slowly, savoring each bite. At the Mexican buffet, a bit of salad, two tacos (I eat the meat, leave the tortillas) and maybe a little refried Beans - a skinny margarita. At the Outback I order the scallops skewer, have package the salad with the dressing on the side immediately, and I take that home. I skip the rice, and ask for steamed veggies - and the skewer comes with skewered veggies too, nice and tender. I can eat about 1/2 of the entree, slowly...and take the rest home, but I take my time, enjoy the conversation, maybe sip a little red wine. During the week work, I take all my breakfasts and lunches to go - I pack my own lunch and track my intake on myfitnesspal.com. I make sure I get my Protein in and my liquids, and I take a nice long walk at work as well. Dinners at home are usually fish or chicken, or steak and veggies, then I allow myself a Weight Watchers frozen dessert in the evening....if I need a snack I might eat a cheese stick or a few nuts.

You don't have to give up who you are. Just make better choices and relax into it.

You can so do this!

[Rootman 1,101]

Yep, been there too. I was always the fat guy that would eat anything. Reminds me of the old Life Cereal commercial, "here give it to Steve, he'll eat anything".

It takes a while but you begin to see the new you and accept it as the REAL you. One thing I've noticed is how critical I feel towards others who are fat when I used to deeply resent anyone who felt that way towards me. All part an parcel with the WLS I guess.

[CJ_Redux 137]

I can totally relate to what you're feeling, kelliecalgary. I'm 8 weeks post-op and I struggle with not being able to eat like before. I find myself saying at times, "I wish I could have 1 day off from VSG to really indulge in food." But the truth is, my emotional attachment to food is just really strong, and THAT is the problem!

But it's a journey to find out who you are without excess food in your life. Food has been my constant companion for many years, probably most of my life. And navigating the world without it's comfort is scary. I find that I can't put up with the same things as before. Not from others or myself. I now see how food really helped me cope. But that's not the life I truly want. It's just that now, I have to show up.

I understand that my relationships with others will have to change as I change. A part of me welcomes it, and yet a part of me is afraid of the unknown. But I'm thankful for the journey because ultimately, this surgery is going to make me be a better me and it will do so for you too.

Keep the faith that you are on the right path, regardless of how bumpy the road feels.

[Tammy310 43]

I've been going through this for 2yrs now, ever since my Celiac diagnosis. I'm Italian; so bread, pizza and Pasta is what we do. I never knew how attached I was to that part of my life until they said NO MORE. I must admit that some days I choose the food over the pain and bloating it causes. However those times are fewer and fewer recently. So far I've weeded out carbonation entirely as well as use of a straw & gum chewing~ due to other gastro issues. Milk is all but gone because of the problems it causes since being gluten free. The only hurdle left is the bread.

It won't be long for you, just take it one meal at a time.

[LeaveItToSleever 80]

Does anyone else feel anything similar to this?

Yes. And good riddance!