Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Recommended Posts

Ive come so far down to my last few dr. appointments and im getting scared and having doubts my husband still doesnt and never has supported my decision and now im thinking maybe i am taking the easy way out im 27 years youbg with diabetes and high blood pressure weighing in at 280 pounds i have been fat my whole life and just need a jumpstart to a new healthier me but with no support i start to doubt myself :(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My weight is around the same my surgery is not till October but I myself am scarred and sometimes feel that I should and should not do it

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I knew I'd get no support from my husband so I didn't even bother to tell him until my surgery was scheduled. He tried to talk me out of it for TWO hours. But no one knows me and how I've struggled to control my weight like I do. The next morning he said he realized I didn't tell him to discuss it, but to notify him. LOL He's catching on. Then he joined me on the pre op diet and has since lost 20 pounds on his own. Do the right thing for you and others will follow!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hmmm, my thoughts exactly... I don't have anyone trying to talk me out of it, but indifference from those you rely on for support can be just as detramental.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It is scary and I have some doubts every once in a while - but I know I've tried over & over to lose weight and can never keep it off and I've never been able to lose enough to get down to a healthy weight.

You're doing this for your health. That's what I have to keep in mind (and then I think about all the cute clothes I'll be able to wear when I get to a healthy weight!!). :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You are doing this for you health. That is what is important. This is about "you" if other can't understand it is best to not involve them. I know that can be hard considering that person is your husband. Ask him does he want you to be unhealthy and why. I doubt you get an answer for that question.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm a 34yr old that always struggle with weight! I was nervous also loved to eat had high blood pressure and cholesterol. It's normal to be nervous..my daughter and I love to eat out and when I say eat out I mean dine out and spend $30-50 on food/drinks..I'm the reason my child is obese and my decision had everything to do with her. I didn't want her to feel like she was being cheated . She is 14 yrs old and she gave me the ok damn near beg me to go forth with it. She said momma now you have to exercise with me no excuses now. She always wanted to do some form of exercise but I wasnt a good support for her because I was tired and lazy! 2 weeks out 27lbs down we walk every day and she is my biggest cheerleader. Oh how I love my sweet child. I have to say I did this for her, she lost her dad @6 months and I refuse to let her be without her mom becuz of my poor habits! If I can u can I'm the biggest procrastinator and I had my surg quick! I was talkin about it in April and was sleeved July 26, 2012! The sleeve is the little kick in the but i needed! Oh BTW my biggest fear was loose skin but my psych, nut, and surgeon both told me due to my age and race elasticity is something I shouldn't worry about. I have witness a 50yr old women w/a bypass (my pastor wife) never had any plastic surgeon and looks great! No sagging skin and she was 280lbs and now 160 and she can wear a bikini and she had 2 c sections and all she did was walk! Her advise to me drink plenty of Water and protein!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ive come so far down to my last few dr. appointments and im getting scared and having doubts my husband still doesnt and never has supported my decision and now im thinking maybe i am taking the easy way out im 27 years youbg with diabetes and high blood pressure weighing in at 280 pounds i have been fat my whole life and just need a jumpstart to a new healthier me but with no support i start to doubt myself :(

It is in know way the easy way out u still have to work hard at changing the way u eat and excercise has to be incorporated its a tool not a fix all or easy way out. I'm sad to hear u have no support but you will find plenty support on here and it seem like the surgery will benefit u health wise a lot. I'll keep u in prayer and hope u make the right decision for u.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I fully understand your feelings of doubt. I had it right up the day before sugery. I did not discuss it with anybody except wife and even she waffled back on forth on my decision but she supported and is being strong for me. She also knows that it is my body and my choice and she respected that. Regardless of it being our choice we do need to factor in our spouses thoughts we love our spouse and want to stay together forever. So I had my surgery alone in Mexico today August 10. As I lay in bed recovering I am very happy(drugs :) with my decision and she is happy for me. We used Skype several times today. It is your decision and just be patient with yourself . I was very nervous all the way up until they put me under anesthesia . No regrets now 12 hrs later.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I knew I'd get no support from my husband so I didn't even bother to tell him until my surgery was scheduled. He tried to talk me out of it for TWO hours. But no one knows me and how I've struggled to control my weight like I do. The next morning he said he realized I didn't tell him to discuss it, but to notify him. LOL He's catching on. Then he joined me on the pre op diet and has since lost 20 pounds on his own. Do the right thing for you and others will follow!

This is very true. A friend of mine is a little over a year out and has lost a lot of weight. His wife was supportive according to him. She was a little chunky at the time too. She is truly built kinda big, very hippy and just kinda thick. You know what I mean, do not mean that to sounds mean. Since his surgery, she has started eating better and in turn lost about 40 pounds and you can tell. Like he told me, I am a leader and she is a follower. He meant that is a positive way in that when things changes for him she saw and followed suit. I have been really watching my diet as well and have lost over twenty pounds. My girlfriend has kinda got on with me as well so I think that it just goes hand in hand that if you are doing the right thing that those around you will see and be a lot more apt to do it as well.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Please don't let other people stop from doing from doing what is best for you, your husband included . Often times people want us to do with seems to be best for them and what they think. I have diabetes borderline high blood pressure and I've been fat for most of my life. Even though eating is easy gaining weight, seeing it on your body and not being able to take it off that easily is very hard . Surgery isn't easy either. I'm sorry your husband is not supporting you but there are people here on this site that will be some of your greatest supporters and biggest fans for making a great life choice .

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi my name is Rachel and I am only 24 and I also have diabetes and high blood pressure. This is the reason I am getting the surgery. We are young and deserve to live without these ailments and to prevent long term side effects get it and be happy don't let someone hold you back!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I feel the same way im 27 yo as well. My husband doubted this procedure and now he just want me to be happy and healthy. Im terrified still but i know if i dont do something, i will have health problems besides obesity.....best of luck to you!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I believe presented in a different manner you husband may come around. Because this is major surgery, he may have some apprehensions as to the outcome. Try to broach the conversation differently, if you can by asking open ended questions. Explain that this is the better choice for a long, healthy, happy life with him included. Ensure him that the physical benefit will be for the both of you. The health aspect will be yours.

It may be an ego thing...it might not be. Only you will know as you know him best.

As for support, this site and a few others do have those who will get you through, but it's nothing like the support of your mate. Let him know you really want this and you will be more at ease if you have his support.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Theweightisover2024🙌💪

      Question for anyone, how did you get your mind right before surgery? Like as far as eating better foods and just doing better in general? I'm having a really hard time with this. Any help is appreciated 🙏❤️
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        I had about 6 months between deciding to do surgery and getting scheduled. I came across the book The Pound of Cure by Dr. Matthew Weiner, a bariatric surgeon in Arizona, and started to implement some of the changes he recommended (and lost 13 lbs in the process without ever feeling deprived). The book is very simple, and the focus is on whole, plant based foods, but within reason. It's not an all or nothing approach, or going vegan or something, but focuses on improvement and aiming for getting it right 80-90% of the time. His suggestions are divided into 12 sections that you can tackle over time, perhaps one per month for a year if a person is just trying to improve nutrition and build good habits. They range from things like cutting out artificial sweetener or eating more beans to eating a pound of vegetables per day. I found it really effective pre-surgery and it's an eating style I will be working to get back to as I am further out from surgery and have more capacity. Small changes you can sustain will do the most for building good habits for life.

    • BeanitoDiego

      I've hit a stall 9 months out. I'm not worried, though. My fitness levels continue to improve and I have nearly accomplished my pre-surgery goal of learning to scuba dive! One dive left to complete to get my PADI card 🐠
      I was able to go for a 10K/6mile hike in the mountains two days ago just for the fun of it. In the before days, I might have attempted this, but it would have taken me 7 or 8 hours to complete and I would have been exhausted and in pain for the next two days. Taking my time with breaks for snacks and water, I was finished with my wee jaunt in only 4 hours 😎 and really got to enjoy photographing some insects, fungi, and turtles.
      Just for fun last week, I ran two 5Ks in two days, something I would have never done in the past! Next goal is a 10K before the end of this month.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Teriesa

      Hi everyone, I wrote back in May about having no strength. I still get totally exhausted just walking from room to room, it’s so bad I’m using a walker with wheels of all things. I had the gastric sleeve Jan. 24th. I’m doing exactly what the programs says, except protein shakes. I have different meats and protein bars daily, including vitamins daily. I do drink my fluids as well.  I go in for IV hydration 4 days a week and feel ok just til evening.  So far as of Jan 1st I’ve dropped 76 lbs. I just want to enjoy the weight lose. Any suggestions or has anyone else gone thru this??  Doctor says just increase calorie intake, still the same. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Stone Art By SKL

      Decorative Wall Cladding & Panels | Stone Art By SKL
      Elevate your space with Stone Art By SKL's decorative wall claddings & panels. Explore premium designs for timeless elegance.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Clueless_girl

      Losing my hair in clumps and still dealing with "stomach" issues from gallbladder removal surgery. On the positive side I'm doing better about meeting protein and water goals and taking my vitamins, so yay? 🤷‍♀️
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×