I am so pissed off right now!

This morning I got dressed feeling proud of the progress I've made since having my surgery and went shopping for some clothes for my daughter.

I walked into a shop and started looking through the racks when I noticed one of those 20yr old anorexic waif-like shop assistants staring at me....I continued looking at the clothes when all of a sudden she snuck up behind me and said........."you know we only cater up to a size 14(US12)" .....aaaarrrrggghhhhh! :angry

I replied "I know"........then she said "so what can I help you with then?"

I said "you can help me by getting the manager of the shop". She then went and got the manager and I told her that I was actually looking for clothes for my daughter and that I was prepared to spend a lot of money in her shop but after being treated so rudely by her staff I was going to shop elsewhere....(it was a real Julia Roberts/Pretty woman moment...."Big mistake"!)

Don't these people realise I could be shopping for my daughter, neice, sister etc......am I not allowed in their shop because I am over a size 14 (US12)?.....who do they think they are...the size police!

I had the exact thing happen to me in a shop here a few years back. Now that I can fit in their clothes, I refuse to shop there, even though they do have some nice outfits LOL.

I guess it just goes down to them being young and oblivious to how rude they are *sigh*

Try not to let it get to you though. *hugs*

so what happend with the manager??? did she said sorry??

You should have told the manager to expect the local news cameras outside her doors first thing in the morning. I bet that would have caused a stir. The manager should have been offering you a HUGE discount. Is it a chain? If so, I would contact the home office. Retail is too competitive to tolerate this attitude. Tell us the name of the store.

I went into a Victoria Secrets and the shop girl came right up to me and without asking if I needed help just said “We don’t carry your size”. I was so embarrassed.

The manager did NOT apologise....which pissed me off even more. She just stood there looking uncomfortable.

I think the shop is an Australian chain store it's called.....SUPRE.

It really caters to women under 30yrs and the size 14 is equivilant to a size 10 in other stores....so it was pretty obvious I wasn't buying for mysel.......but the shop assistant made me feel like I shouldn't even be allowed to step inside their precious store because I was too big!

BTW I forgot to mention she also rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the manager...little cow!

WOW that ticks me off too! I have never had an experience like that, but I would write to the local paper or tell the Television stations about how unfair you were treated!

Honestly I say that but I dought I'd have the guts. Sounds tough though.

Sorry it happened to you.

Discrimination is alive and well. You can only hope that the smug little twit falls through a crack in the sidewalk on her way home - never to be seen or heard from again.

I went into a Victoria Secrets and the shop girl came right up to me and without asking if I needed help just said “We don’t carry your size”. I was so embarrassed.

"Oh, those little numbers are SIZES, are they? Oh my...I thought they showed the IQ of the person whose career high point would be selling one of them while making minimum wage. My mistake..."

<start devil's advocate mode>

A friend of mine works retail. She is not a large woman, and she works in a store that does not carry large sizes. When she sees a large person come in, she makes an effort to tell the person, in varying degrees of directness, that they will not find their size. She doesn't do it to be mean, she does it because she didn't previously, and would watch large women searching rack after rack trying to find their size, only to be told later, "Well you should have told me so I didn't waste my time." This supposedly happened many, many more times than not, and in effort to proactively prevent it from happening again, she takes action.

Our sensitivities have a lot more to do with how we feel about something than does the speaker's intent.

<end devil's advocate mode>

Also - just a bit curious, how is "you know we only cater up to a size 14" worse than, "20yr old anorexic waif-like shop assistants"? It doesn't take a lot to assume someone can't fit into a size 10, but it takes quite a bit of assuming that someone is anorexic. Just my two cents, but if we don't want judgements and stereotypes made upon us because of our weight, the least we can do is not judge and stereotype others based on theirs.

side note: have you noticed that even in stores that carry larger sizes, they always put them at the very back of the store? i equate it to being required to ride 'in 'the back of the bus.'

do you have anywhere you could complain like we have the humans right do you have anything like that or the news paper i would do it. I always shop at the sames store because im scare thats going to happen to me.

Taking out anger on people who are young and in a low paying job because one sales person or two or many show lack of tact is not being any better than the individuals who hurt our feelings.

When we attack all sales-people in low paying jobs and their intelligence, we forget:

#1. They are young

#2. We were once that young

#3. They may be working while going to college

#4. They may be skinny now, but many of us were also skinny at that age

I have seen young people discriminate against people because of size, age, race, style of dress. That's not good, but hopefully, life will teach them that they are wrong. But, I have seen older people discriminate against people because of size, age, race, style of dress. What's their excuse?

When you give someone the power to ruin your day because of their ignorance, you are the one that suffers. Many of us will run home or to the nearest fast-food shop and eat 1000 calories while thinking, "How dare she? I'll show her!!" Who won that battle?

I have had the same type thing happen to me. It happened to me on my job. The new hires would come in and see this old gray haired fat man (sort of a Santa Claus clone) and mock me. Then when a plane came in with a problem that threatened to cancel the flight or at least delay it for hours, I would calmly come over and fix it, leaving them with "egg on their faces". I know it is more difficult in a shopping setting, because their is not much you can say to today's young people to impress them, unless you have children their age and know all the latest gossip, stars and songs.

Just remember one thing. They are young. Be realistic and remember how you were when you were young. Feel sorry for them for being ignorant.

TOM

PS: The use of the word "You" was meant rhetorically and not address to any member in particular

Seeing that you asked for the manager, they should have figured out you were offended.

Here is supre website so you can send them an email letting them know you were offended. They should offer a coupon or apology or something. good luck. Been there done that.

http://www.supre.au.com/(dag22y3mbrwtxyz4hgjzzq55)/Contact.aspx?pid=7

side note: have you noticed that even in stores that carry larger sizes, they always put them at the very back of the store? i equate it to being required to ride 'in 'the back of the bus.'

When my favorite plus size store went out of business "Casual Corner's, August Max", I was forced to buy clothes elsewhere. I was overwhelmed and lost because I had been shopping there for over 15 years.

I went to my favorite department store and wondered around for an hour looking for plus sizes. Almost giving up and thinking they didn't even carry plus sizes, I finally asked a sales person. The plus size womens department was on the top floor behind the furniture department. Doh! I should have known to look there.......

*use emoticons so your eyes won't get so bored*

JoJo,

I've been on both sides of the fence with my weight, (from skinny to obese and now somewhere in between) and in my opinion, obese people are treated very differently than normal sized people therefore I can understand how you were feeling about what she said to you.

Don't get me wrong, I know there are quite a bit of people in the world who would love nothing more than to call you out on your weight.

Some people really do just HATE HATE HATE obese people and target you just b/c you are heavy. I used to chat in a weightloss room on yahoo and more often than not, people would come into the chat room and abuse everyone that was overweight saying fat jokes and yelling, "STOP EATING"...etc. It hardens you over time. Abuse like that can make you a really paranoid and defensive person.

Nowadays, I really try my very hardest ..not to assume I know what people are thinking when they say what they say if it comes out in a negative way. :huytsao Everyone has a filtration system. When we hear something, it becomes absorbed and we filter it.

I could have filtered what the store clerk said, the same way you have JoJo, however I would also throw out the "What If she really meant ..or what if she was really just trying to save me from embarrassment by letting me know up front that I just won't find clothes here for me"..... just to give everyone the benefit of a doubt. If that clerk was a teen then you have to take her age into consideration. In my opinion, (my son for example) they just haven't experienced the world enough to know the consequences of saying things that may have hurt or have a negative effect on people.

Obesity had made me a very paranoid person:paranoid . I always thought everyone's eyes were glued to me when I would attend family functions, shop for food, eat at restaurants, etc. I felt my every bite was recorded in the eyes of the people around me. I would get quickly defensive if my weight was ever subject or target of a conversation, like shopping for clothes or hearing that I looked like I've gained weight.

If I browsed a Junior size rack of clothes 4 months ago and was approached in the same way as you were by a store assistant, you bet I'd respond defensively without recourse. I would have responded that way only because of my insecurities of being obese and the need to protect my feelings. But now that the weight is coming off.. I don't think that way anymore. My confidence is back:clap2: . I don't know if it's the fact that I'm no longer paranoid about what people see me as or if they really do treat you differently when you are normal in weight or close to it. Either way, my obesity/protection/barrier/insecurities shield has been retired and now I don't see skinny people as being so cruel and evil anymore.