I am so pissed off right now!

This morning I got dressed feeling proud of the progress I've made since having my surgery and went shopping for some clothes for my daughter.

I walked into a shop and started looking through the racks when I noticed one of those 20yr old anorexic waif-like shop assistants staring at me....I continued looking at the clothes when all of a sudden she snuck up behind me and said........."you know we only cater up to a size 14(US12)" .....aaaarrrrggghhhhh! :angry

I replied "I know"........then she said "so what can I help you with then?"

I said "you can help me by getting the manager of the shop". She then went and got the manager and I told her that I was actually looking for clothes for my daughter and that I was prepared to spend a lot of money in her shop but after being treated so rudely by her staff I was going to shop elsewhere....(it was a real Julia Roberts/Pretty woman moment...."Big mistake"!)

Don't these people realise I could be shopping for my daughter, neice, sister etc......am I not allowed in their shop because I am over a size 14 (US12)?.....who do they think they are...the size police!

Let me tell you: I love kids!!! I don't get discrimination from them at all. The kids love me, and always want to hang with me. When they want to go out on the weekends, and their parents say they need an adult with them, they call me. So lots of times on the weekends, I spend it with the kids because they want me there, and the parents feel comfortable with me. However, the only way the parents feel good with me is because they got to know me through their kids. It is always the kids that see the real you, at least that is what I see, and what I have experienced. The parents didn't trust me to begin with because of the way I looked, and I have had a couple tell me that, and apologize after they got to know me. But once they got to know me, they knew that they could trust me with their children.

But there is several different situations. The kids love me, and want to hang with, but they are looking for someone they can trust, look up to, and they inherently need, and want to some degree, guidance. And that is what I give them. A good role model who tells them that it doesn't matter what you look like, you can be a success at most anything you want. However, when we're talking about bosses.....let me tell you, I have always worked my butt off, and done an extraordinary job. I'm not just full of myself, this is what my evaluations have told me, along with other people as well. Now, I have had this boss for the past year or so, and he is a retired col. from the army. 35 years in the army to be exact. And, when he sees me, he automatically assumes that I am lazy, dont' do my work, he can't depend on me, I do less than standard work, and basically that I'm not that good. I have not had a true compliment from him since he has been there. Now get this, I am a church music director, full time, and my boss is the priest. Yes, a priest who is prejudice because I don't look like him, and I am not as structured as him. Believe me, the discrimination is there. At times I have wanted to leave, but I will NOT let him run me off. If anyone disagrees with this situation that I'm in, I shall give you several several instances of this discrimination, and what he has done to me. I have kept a journal on that alone. Don't tell me that some bosses don't discriminate because you are fat, because I have one that does that! I'm not saying all bosses are that way, but some are. My last boss wasn't, he thought I did a most awesome job, and so has all the others that I have had at the church.

Okay, I'll shut up now before I really start ranting and raving on this subject.

*smiles*

In My Life I Have Been On Both Sides Of The Fence. When I Was Thin I Was Assumed To Be A B****. When I Was Heavy I Was Assumed To Be Lazy. When We Built A Huge House I Was Considered A Snob. When I Wouldn't Dress To The Nines When I Went Shopping I Would Be Assumed To Not Be Able To Afford The Items In Their Store. I Was In A Jewelry Store When I Was Thin But Not Dressed As Nicely As The Women Next To Me. Who Do You Think They Helped First? It Wasn't Me. We Just Have To Face That Certain People Catagorize Everyone And You Can't Take It To Heart. Demeaning The Other Person May Feel Good But It Continues The Cycle. Class And Empathy Can't Be Taught. I Feel Sorry For The Ignorance Of Anyone Who Has Talked To Someone For 2 Seconds Without Knowing Them That Can Put Them In Any Catagory. Be Happy With Who You Are And You Won't Be As Insulted At Ignorant Comments(not Necessarily Ignorant People). I Am Proud I Was Banded 9/05/06 And Have Lost 40lbs. Everyone Say What They Must It Doesn't Change Who I Am. Confidence In Yourself Inside And Out Can Conquer All

To add to your list of categories women won't usually date, sometimes when a guy is "too nice" for some crazy reason certain women want nothing to do with him. On the other hand, you can be fat and a jerk and some girl with low self esteem or love of bad boys will date you in a heartbeat.

To add to your list of categories women won't usually date, sometimes when a guy is "too nice" for some crazy reason certain women want nothing to do with him. On the other hand, you can be fat and a jerk and some girl with low self esteem or love of bad boys will date you in a heartbeat.

Ohmigawd! That is so true!! I guess I'm pretty lucky. I've always had a taste for nice boys.:Banane20:

Okay Tommygirl, you have a great point. I'm one of those nice guys, and I have been told that a lot too. I console a lot of my female friends who have idiots for boyfriends, it happens way too much.

And Laurigee, I totally understand what you're saying. I try not to continue the cycle, that's why I'm letting it out here. I can't talk bad about my pastor to anyone around here, even though hundreds of poeple have complained about him. I try not to classify people in any category, cuz it just ain't right.

I agree Carol......being a fat woman is the pits!

If you are an overweight guy people will say "he's a big guy" and that's OK because it's acceptable for men to be big....it means they are strong, protective, masculine etc

If you say "she is a big woman" it has very negative connotations like she is hefty, unfeminine, too heavy etc

Don't get me wrong I'm not saying it's a picnic being an overweight man but in our sexist societies women are still judged primarily on their looks and their sexual desirability.....sad but true.

I do agree with you jojo, I can see your point about women being judged on their looks and such, I just never have done that. Some of the sexiest girl that I've dated have been overweight, and some not that pretty, but they had something that I liked, and that was personality. I see what you're saying about guys not liking fat girls, but fat single guys also have the false image of being perverts, or worse. This is something that I and others that I know have had problems with.

I don't think that either way is better or worse, the grass is always greener on the other side. I think it is equally problematic. I don't know the sturggles the ladies have gone through, all I know is mine, and how much I want to make it better.