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Vacation With A Skinny Friend



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This past week I went on vacation with a very skinny friend. She had lots of questions about my surgery which I tried to answer. She wanted to know who else we knew that had had weight loss surgery. She had no idea it was so common. And she was shocked that you had to work at losing the weight and keeping it off. UGH. She is skin and bones and still thinks she needs to lose weight (I am very serious, no curves, bony arms, etc). I honestly felt like she was jealous?? She said before we left she wasn't bringing any sweets and wanted to avoid them. She did bring a bunch of crackers, some Cookies, rice crispy treats but said they were for her sons who also went with us. I think she was waiting for me to scaf them down. She seemed surprised when I couldn't finish my meals when we went out or when I didn't order greasy fried foods. Even though I have been very open about how I eat now. She brought wine and bloody mary fixings along and I think she was disappointed I didn't want to drink every evening. I had a couple glasses of wine and one bloody mary, felt guilty the whole time LOL I suppose this is all paranoia but geesh. It is hard to spend a week with someone who just doesn't get it.

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Some people truly don't understand. We had a pitch in at work yesterday and everyone was shocked at little I ate. I even had a friend split a very small brownie with me. My portion was truly a very small bite and she said, "That's all you're eating?" lol If I hadn't grown up with a grandmother that had her stomach stapled years ago I would probably have been just as clueless. I hope your friend doesn't continue down the path of jealousy. She should be happy for your success. We are!! :D

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I'm sorry that your friend don't get it. I think jealousy could be the issue and that's sad.

I think both heavy and very skinny people have a hard time in different ways. I have a few friends that would be considered very skinny or some would say too skinny. We were talking about weight once and they brought up how hurtful it is when people bring up things like you are so skinny, it's not fair you can eat what you want and never gain weight, gosh, you need to gain some weight. They said they would never say to an overweight person, boy I wish I could eat and gain weight like you, or gosh you are so fat, or hey you need to lose weight.

It was something that stuck with me. These friends never made me feel bad for being overweight. It was only my insecure normal weight friends or slightly overweight friends that tried to find ways to sabotage my diet, or made me feel uncomfy about my weight.

I was glad that I learned that valuable lesson from them.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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