Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Thread Killers



Recommended Posts

Funny - uh uh - not after the LAST bit of drama - no way no how

Dawg - yep there IS life after death - the threads here prove that LOL

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My very first dirty joke I ever told... ever.

A Vampire goes in to a bar and the bartender gets really upset.

"We dont allow vampires in here, you all make messes and freak people out when you bite them," said the bartender.

"I'll be really good. I wont bite anyone. In fact, I came in here only cause I want a glass of hot Water for a drink," pleaded the vampire.

"Well, all right I guess," and so the bartender goes and gets a coffee cup of hot water for the vampire.

He brings it back and says,"So, what are you going to do with the hot water anyway?"

The vampire pulls out a used tampon and hollers, "TEA TIME!!"

-what can I say.. I was in 7th grade.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The first person to invent the comfy mamogram will be a billionairre.

I have to say, I want to hear zero complaints. Yes, women have pap smears, yes they have mamograms. Yes, they do have childbirth.

I'm trotting towards a time when I'll have to go for regular PROSTATE checks.

SHUDDER

There actually is a comfy mamogram-I had one-it uses the xray capability while its trying to smash you and as soon as it can read what its looking for the machine stops!! Spoils me calling it a "Smash-0-gram" but oh well. Its a great machine:clap2: .

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

***it looks dead.. ..better be carefull.. ..just a couple more steps and you're past... cautiously tries to sidle past the sleeping thread, trips, falls flat on face, right in front of oncoming CHEESE TRAIN!!!

Nup - it's still kickin'

On the subject of mamograms - the squishing and PULLING that those of us with "little girls" experience during the process is surely more uncomfortable that just the squishing of "bigger girls". I had my first mamo at 16 (thanks to a lump that grew after a friend punched one of my girls) - the poor babies had barely grown yet - yeowch!! Scared 'em so much they stopped growing right then & there. ROFLMFAO! Personally, I think that pap tests are worse - and we all know that they are more embarasing than painfull. I also think that having blood pressure tested is far more uncomfortable than either a mamo or pap (yes, I am a whimp over the little things). Have the tests people, have the tests.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Boy, I gotta tell ya, I am glad the exam for testicular cancer is not like a mammorgram.

Imagine them squishing the boys like that...

Hooooooo... Scary:omg:

I'm a gettin sympathy pain thinking about it.:)

Now, nut squishing should kill a thread.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That's nothing. Let me tell you how the oncologist gave my grandfather his bladder treatments...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree, a PAP is MUCH worse than a mamogram. and I DO NOT want to know how the oncologist got to your grandfathers bladder. however, I can guess he took the short direct route.

owowowowowowow.:omg:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Frankly the testicular cancer exam is bad enough without squishing. I remember my doctor saying "Kind of disturbing to try and have a conversation when a man has ahold of your left testicle isn't it?"

Why yes, yes it is.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Clueless_girl

      Losing my hair in clumps and still dealing with "stomach" issues from gallbladder removal surgery. On the positive side I'm doing better about meeting protein and water goals and taking my vitamins, so yay? 🤷‍♀️
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      I've hit a stall 9 months out. I'm not worried, though. My fitness levels continue to improve and I have nearly accomplished my pre-surgery goal of learning to scuba dive! One dive left to complete to get my PADI card 🐠
      I was able to go for a 10K/6mile hike in the mountains two days ago just for the fun of it. In the before days, I might have attempted this, but it would have taken me 7 or 8 hours to complete and I would have been exhausted and in pain for the next two days. Taking my time with breaks for snacks and water, I was finished with my wee jaunt in only 4 hours 😎 and really got to enjoy photographing some insects, fungi, and turtles.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Mr.Kantos

      Just signed up. Feeling optimistic.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Frugal

      Welcome to Frugal Testing, where we are committed to revolutionizing the software testing landscape with our efficient and affordable solutions. As a pioneering company in this field, we understand the challenges faced by startups, small to medium-sized businesses and any organization working without budget constraints. Our mission is to deliver top-notch testing services that ensure the highest quality of software, all while keeping your costs in check.
      Frugal Testing offers a comprehensive suite of testing services tailored to meet diverse needs. Specializing in different types of testing including functional testing, automation testing, metaverse testing and D365 testing, we cover all bases to guarantee thorough software quality assurance. Our approach is not just about identifying bugs; it's about ensuring a seamless and superior user experience.
      Innovation is at the heart of what we do. By integrating the latest tools and technologies, many of which are cutting-edge open source solutions, we stay ahead in delivering efficient and effective testing services. This approach allows us to provide exceptional quality testing without the high costs typically associated with advanced testing methodologies.
      Understanding each client's unique needs is fundamental to our service delivery. At Frugal Testing, the focus is on creating customized testing strategies that align with specific business goals and budget requirements. This client-centric approach ensures that every testing solution is not only effective but also fully aligned with the client's objectives.
      Our team is our greatest asset. Composed of skilled professionals who are experts in the latest testing techniques and technologies, they bring dedication, expertise and a commitment to excellence in every project. This expertise ensures that our client’s software not only meets but often exceeds the highest standards of quality and performance.
      Frugal Testing is more than just a service provider; we are a partner in your success. With a blend of quality, innovation and cost-effectiveness, we are here to help you navigate the complexities of software testing, ensuring your product stands out in today's competitive market. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • ChunkCat

      I have no clue where to upload this, so I'll put it here. This is pre-op vs the morning of my 6 month appointment! In office I weight 232, that's 88 lbs down since my highest weight, 75 lbs since my surgery weight! I can't believe this jacket fit... I am smaller now than the last time I was this size which the surgeon found really amusing. He's happy with where I am in my weight loss and estimates I'll be around 200 lbs by my 1 year anniversary! My lowest weight as an adult is 195, so that's pretty damn exciting to think I'll be near that at a year. Everything from there will be unknown territory!!

      · 3 replies
      1. AmberFL

        You look amazing!!! 😻 you have been killing it!

      2. NickelChip

        Congratulations! You're making excellent progress and looking amazing!

      3. BabySpoons

        So proud of you Cat. Getting into those smaller size clothes is half the fun isn't it?. Keep up the good work!!!!

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×