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Letting Go Of The Guilt



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As a serious yo-yo dieter I have spent years thinking if I have good food I am or have done "good" & vice versa. I don't know how to shake this mindset! Today I ate horribly. I had a med iced coffee w/ half&half because they.were out of 2%. Then I was busy & didn't eat all day. Tonight I had a date night with my 4yo son & since we only spend time alone on the rarest occasion, I let him choose where we went. He wanted hot wings & ice cream. So at dinner I had 4 or 5 pieces of fried zucchini (they were small) & 1/2 of one small wing. Then we went shopping for a couple hours, followed by a trip to cold stone. I got a kids size chocolate frozen yogurt w/ bananas. I ate.the bananas & tossed the rest. I couldn't stop admonishing myself all night. I entered everything into mfp & after all the berating myself I had consumed 512 calories, 17g of sugar & 45 carbs. This is something that would have blown my mind before vsg....in fact it blew myind just now! So, the worst part of my day was how little Protein I ate - 15g. The thong is, I feel like all this counting carbs & tracking every morsel is really messing with my "guilt" that I've.previously associated with a diet. How do I turn that inner voice off? I eat healthy the majority of the time, but I hate feeling "bad" if I stray, especially when the stats look like these! Oh to get.this stupid diet monkey off my back!!! So any sage advice on shaking this??

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Ps. I can spell & use correct punctuation, despite what this post ^^ would indicate. Stupid touch pad.

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This might sound like I am going against the grain...so please forgive me!

Have you considered NOT logging for a little while? You are newly sleeved and therefore at you max restriction. I didn't log anything for the first 6mths at least. I do log now because I am 19+ out and not at goal so I need to be vigilant with my cals.

Honestly, at your stage in the game the only thing I focused on was Protein and good quality food?

Like I said it might be against the grain, but it would take the pressure of the 'diet monkey' from you?

The association of good and bad food, I believe is in all of us...

I chose the sleeve so I COULD eat a variety of food, as yes that includes a treat now and again! I want to eat to live, not live to eat.

Good luck with the inner voice, it does get better.

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i would like to know also,everytime i eat something im always worried if its to much,or am i falling back into my old ways.i check and measure everything.its just im so worried that its to much,and usally its not enough.on the good side went to dr for 1 month check up lost 24 lbs. i guess thats ok

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I don't believe in "good" or "bad" foods. We did have this surgery to LIVE, not to DIET. My mindset is Protein first, always. At the wing place, I'd have eaten chicken wings rather than zucchini, because the wings have Protein and the fried zucchini has way less protein. Of course, I'd have only been able to eat 3 wings, at most, so that would have limited the amount of protein. But, when it comes to the bottom line, I aim for my protein and Water daily. If I have room for other things, then I will add in veggies and some carbs.

Do NOT beat yourself up over a one time indulgence in ice cream, though. You're going to have days where you get all your protein and Water and days where you don't meet the protein goal. That's life and we all do it. As you get further out from surgery, you will find that it gets easier to meet those protein goals. You will have to change your mindset to meet them, but you will get there.

For me, it sometimes seems like I do better when I don't do everything perfect anyway. Yesterday I had a couple of drinks with friends. This morning I posted an almost 2 pound loss. That loss may actually be related to the amount of exercise I've been doing, or it may be related to TOM, but my diet yesterday included alcoholic beverages, which are often considered too high calorie for us. Sometimes we have to shake things up to keep the scale moving and especially to make sure we are still LIVING, not DIETING.

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    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

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