Don't Put Your Spouse In My Boat!

[Atraeu 5]

My wife had the RNY 4 years ago. She was extremely successful with it. My weight was manageable and I was in decent shape. My wife progressed through her post op diet and her solids was always to much for her to eat. Well she would instinctively put her remaining food on my plate to eat. I would eat it. So I was eating nearly two meals at a time. I was raised not to waste food and a happy plate is a clean plate. So I was eating 1 1/2 steaks and 1 1/2 potatoes at dinner, or an extra 4 - 7 wings, sandwiches, chicken, the list goes on. Well needless to say, 4 years later I need WLS. I was sleeved on 12/27/11. Now of course I do not blame my entire weight gain on my wife. I could have simply said no, or stopped being lazy and been more active. However, this story has made me change the way that I approach food with my son. He is no longer made to eat all of his food. He just has to eat what we thing is enough for him. This is only needed when it is not his favorite (the healthier foods) foods. pizza, and such is never a problem. Seconds was taken away if it is a high starchy meal, or unhealthy meal. NO ONE puts their remainders on the others plate. It goes in the leftover dish or trash. That was a huge lifestyle change for me but I am glad that I did it. I just want all the new sleevers out there to watch that with your spouses, not only do you lifestyle have to change but theirs have to also.

[UXgrrl 29]

When I was going through my healthy eating class, it struck me that all the habits that we are being encouraged to adopt (smaller portions, Protein first, stop when full, etc) were things that we were routinely trying to "train" our kids NOT to do. We were fighting with them to stay at the table and finish everything on their plate, we were giving them things from the kids' menu which were fried or covered in cheese or primarily starches, we were expecting them to eat according our hectic, mismanaged schedule which frequently led to poor choices (like last-minute pizza or fast food).

My partner and I are both planning to be sleeved eventually; I ended up going first. My new diet has caused a complete revolution in our household and has totally changed the way we eat and how we treat our kids with regards to food. They are 5 and (almost) 3 so we are lucky that they still in the impressionable stage and still have time to learn better habits. They of course turn their noses up at unfamiliar foods and regularly request things like mac & cheese, but now we make mac & cheese with SmartTaste Pasta and serve it with equal quantities of broccoli, or mix in a handful of frozen peas to cool it down quickly, or maybe toss in a little leftover diced chicken.

We also invested in a couple of "Sneaky Chef" - type cookbooks. We're super lucky that our kids don't refuse to eat vegetables (in fact, my 3 year old won't eat anything but right now) but these books gave us great ideas for pumping up the nutrient and Protein quotient of everyday foods. This is helpful for sleevers as well, since it packs more nutrition in to a smaller quantity of food.< /p>

Anyway, we learn our eating habits at an early age and we unconsciously revert back to them during times of stress. There's a reason why "comfort food" exists. My parents weren't the best at healthy eating and I'm sure I picked up some bad habits during my childhood, so I am being extra vigilant to model good habits to my children. Maybe then they won't inherit my trouble with weight as well.

[his2my2our4 120]

You raise a REALLY good point!! I was sleeved in Oct and have found myself doing this....you have just opened my eyes, Thank you! From now on, we either split a meal or it's a take out box!

[M2G 1,836]

I wonder how much obesity can be related to the "Clean Your Plate Club"? I am no longer a member and my children aren't either. It is so liberating! (Not to say we waste food, but our plates and the amount we dish ourselves is much much smaller....restaurant portions are so far out of control it's crazy!)

Congratulations to you (and your wife) for taking control and doing whatever you need to do to get healthy. My husband is sleeved also and I think it's great that we can do this together!!!

[LindaS 316]

My husband weighed this morning and saw the highest number he had ever seen on the scale. He is overweight but not obese, but I am glad to get your reminder. I don't want him to eat my extras and be where I was at. I am hoping my husband gets frustrated enough to start exercising more soon. I don't want to discourage him, so I try to avoid the issue. He knows/says he needs to lose weight, but he hasn't been motivated enough to do anything. Talking about it is the first step though.

[SouthernSleever 236]

So true. I don't put my extra food on hubby's plate but he eats it anyway.

[Dooter 1,457]

Good advice!!!