A friend of mine (who is very much against my decision to het VSG) told me she considers my surgery "elective". Up there with plastics she said. She thinks it's only good for people who are on their last chance, can't move and are close to death, not me. My starting bmi was 43, I have lost my 10%. She thinks because I was able to lose my 10%, I should be fine.

I really took offense to this and it has been lingering in my mind ever since. I just want to see how others might take it. I think sometimes I can be too sensitive.

if it was considered elective surgery then why would insurance companies be willing to pay for it. that responce is exactly why i have chosen to keep my wls to myself. the only people that know about my surgery is my husband and my daughter. i figure its nobody elses business how i lose my weight. im getting healthy for me and my family and not for anybody else. so many studies show how its next to impossible for obese people to lose their weight and keep it off. i say, dont worry about what your friend thinks. good luck to you

I agree that insurance companies would not pay if it was elective. Also, I was dieting and exercising(a little) before surgery, and even though my diabetes improved a lot, it wasn't until my surgery that my diabetes was "cured" or in remission. And people will try to tell me, yes, because you're losing weight. But this happened immediately after release from the hospital, not after I lost more weight. So I feel I needed the sleeve to help with my diabetes as well as my weight. I had been told by drs due to a back/hip problem I had, that I would end up in a wheelchair within 10 yrs. It made activity and exercise and even everyday chores almost impossible. The weight made the pain and immobility worse. Just the weight that I've lost has changed all this so much, I am able to do chores as well as more intense exercise now too. Others can call it elective if they want, but I call it my lifesaver! We can't control what comes out of our friends, loved ones, and even strangers mouths, but we can control how it affects us. She can consider it whatever she wants, it is her opinion. But she should respect your decision and support you if she's a true friend. You could say, "I am not asking for your approval, just your support". Friends can be weird when it comes to wls, I've seen friendships end over it. A lot of emotions come to play, especially jealousy. I hope you can at least get her to respect and support you, even if she doesn't agree.

Thanks ladies! I needed to hear that. I hope that she will support me. That comment just wouldn't leave me alone!

Let is slide...easier said than done, but people who spout off comments like that 1. Don't really and truly know what they're talking about and 2. Just want you to really think it through. You know this is the right thing for YOU- and that's what matters the most.

From the perspective that the surgery does not need to be done today and can be put off, it can be considered to be elective - hospitals faced with labor actions will put off elective procedures but will continue to do emergency procedures. That it is medically necessary for most of us here, there is little question - which is why insurance generally covers it (unless ones employer chooses to specifically exclude WLS coverage in general.) Just because there are alternatve treatments available, i.e. classic diet/exercise programs, drug treatments, etc. does not alter its medical necessity or its validity as a viable treatment. There are usually several medical treatments available for any particular ailment, and some treatments work better than others for different individuals. The medically supervised ultra low calorie diet programs do work - for maybe 5% of the cases. Bariatric surgery has the best record of success, but there are still lots of failures as it is still just a tool for the patient to use and sometimes the tool isn't used correctly, or the wrong tool was used (bands vs. RNY vs. VSG vs. DS, etc.)

Don't get too upset over others' ignorance - you can try to educate them but it's not your job to educate the whole world. People who don't have a particular problem tend to be ignorant to its ramifications and solutions - If they had an orthopedic problem like a torn knee or shoulder, they could be ignorantly criticised for having surgery to repair it rather than just doing physical therapy (which can work on its own in some cases.)

Unfortunately WLS is considered an "elective" and those insurance companies that do pay for it are really good. Actually the employers are really good since they are the ones who have decided to pay for it for the employee. . . mine did not and therefore I had to pay out of pocket. . . but yes WLS is an elective just like plastic surgery is. . .most think that it is some that we elect to do and dont need to have performed due to life threatening thing. . . sad but true. . .

If a doctor here says it's medically appropriate/necessary, it's not elective -- insurance has to cover it.

Ask her if she thinks you should wait until you're on YOUR last chance, can't move and are close to death... or if it's better to stop the progression now while you can still prevent more permanent damage to your body. Then take care of yourself, get it done, look and feel like a million bucks, and rub her face in it when you finish your first 5K.

I guess it is as elective as choosing whether or not to take your diabetes and heart medicine. They can prescribe it, but can't make you take it. For me (and many of us), this is the tool we need to get off the weight. If someone else wants to consider it elective, that's fine for them ... wasn't elective for me - it was preventative!

Ask her if she thinks you should wait until you're on YOUR last chance, can't move and are close to death... or if it's better to stop the progression now while you can still prevent more permanent damage to your body. Then take care of yourself, get it done, look and feel like a million bucks, and rub her face in it when you finish your first 5K.

That's a great plan! Loves it! 

I guess it is as elective as choosing whether or not to take your diabetes and heart medicine. They can prescribe it, but can't make you take it. For me (and many of us), this is the tool we need to get off the weight. If someone else wants to consider it elective, that's fine for them ... wasn't elective for me - it was preventative!

That's exactly how I see it. Thanks!

Obesity is a disease that causes death. Even though it doesn't cause it directly it still opens a indirect flood gate that lead to many other diseases in itself like heart attacks, high blood pressure, diabetes and etc...

People who have never been obesity DON'T know the struggle and never will. When someone tells you it's easy to lose the weight tell them to gain a hundred pounds for a year and then come talk to you. People assume it's easy to lose weight but if that were true why is 75-85% the US obese, you get my point, right??? What your friend doesn't understand is that yeah it may be easy to lose weight, but keeping the weight off if the hardest thing in the world, period.

This is YOUR life and everyone else has there OWN. So no one has any right to tell you what you SHOULD do in your life or own skin.

Thanks ladies! I needed to hear that. I hope that she will support me. That comment just wouldn't leave me alone!

She may or may not end up supporting you know what I mean? That's something you need to ready yourself for. I've actually had a few friends drop off the face of the planet when I told them I was having surgery. It was their own...selfishness?... I guess you could say of no longer being secure that *I* was the fattest one in our crowd.

Now, about your friend.. has she ever had a serious weight problem? Like more than 20-30 pounds or a little post-baby weight or something? A lot of people who've never battled their weight as badly as we have have NO CLUE what it's like. Or.. if she's heavy as well, she's probably thinking of her own fears. I had one friend who's a very heavy woman tell me I was NUTS for doing this because she couldn't imagine cutting out a part of her body to lose weight and couldn't imagine "not being able to eat or drink whatever she wants" anymore. Umm.. that's why we're BOTH in this situation lol.

I wouldn't worry about what your friend thinks. This is all about you, your health bills for the rest of your life and the REST OF YOUR LIFE in general. If she can get over herself and realize you're doing this to save your life (imo, saving your life can mean more than just your mortality.. it can mean your quality of life and happiness as well) then great. She's a true friend who just needs time to accept it. If she' cant? Well bugger on her. One of my "friends" who fell off the face of the earth was asked by my husband to "babysit me" the 2 days after I came home from the surgery. First day she shows up with McDonald's Breakfast and eats in front of me. Second day she's going on and on and on about missing breakfast at the fast food places until I had to tell her to STFU please. We really haven't seen her since. Bugger on her and her own jealousy/insecurity. It's hard to take seeing people you've considered close friends in this new light and I'm struggling with it myself with that particular friend. Your good friends will support you (even if it takes them a little while to come around to the idea) and the people who really aren't your good friends will out themselves in time.