A friend of mine (who is very much against my decision to het VSG) told me she considers my surgery "elective". Up there with plastics she said. She thinks it's only good for people who are on their last chance, can't move and are close to death, not me. My starting bmi was 43, I have lost my 10%. She thinks because I was able to lose my 10%, I should be fine.

I really took offense to this and it has been lingering in my mind ever since. I just want to see how others might take it. I think sometimes I can be too sensitive.

She may or may not end up supporting you know what I mean? That's something you need to ready yourself for. I've actually had a few friends drop off the face of the planet when I told them I was having surgery. It was their own...selfishness?... I guess you could say of no longer being secure that *I* was the fattest one in our crowd.

Now, about your friend.. has she ever had a serious weight problem? Like more than 20-30 pounds or a little post-baby weight or something? A lot of people who've never battled their weight as badly as we have have NO CLUE what it's like. Or.. if she's heavy as well, she's probably thinking of her own fears. I had one friend who's a very heavy woman tell me I was NUTS for doing this because she couldn't imagine cutting out a part of her body to lose weight and couldn't imagine "not being able to eat or drink whatever she wants" anymore. Umm.. that's why we're BOTH in this situation lol.

I wouldn't worry about what your friend thinks. This is all about you, your health bills for the rest of your life and the REST OF YOUR LIFE in general. If she can get over herself and realize you're doing this to save your life (imo, saving your life can mean more than just your mortality.. it can mean your quality of life and happiness as well) then great. She's a true friend who just needs time to accept it. If she' cant? Well bugger on her. One of my "friends" who fell off the face of the earth was asked by my husband to "babysit me" the 2 days after I came home from the surgery. First day she shows up with McDonald's breakfast and eats in front of me. Second day she's going on and on and on about missing breakfast at the fast food places until I had to tell her to STFU please. We really haven't seen her since. Bugger on her and her own jealousy/insecurity. It's hard to take seeing people you've considered close friends in this new light and I'm struggling with it myself with that particular friend. Your good friends will support you (even if it takes them a little while to come around to the idea) and the people who really aren't your good friends will out themselves in time.

Yeah, that is something that I am ready for. She is heavier than I am but would never chose WLS for herself, or any surgery for that matter.

I understand where she is coming from, and I would never judge or make her feel bad fir that choice. Being as close as we are and her being the most supportive person I have ever met/had in my life, I thought she would be there fo me as always.

At this point, if she is she is, if she's not she's not. I think she will come around. It's funny because the people I thought would've judged or discouraged did just the opposite. So at least I have some very supportive people in my life regardless. 3 more weeks to go! I can't wait!

Sorry, I can not figure out how to reply in the same box that I copy the message into. Lol I'm a newbie!

It's funny because the people I thought would've judged or discouraged did just the opposite. So at least I have some very supportive people in my life regardless. 3 more weeks to go! I can't wait!

I hear you. It's funny how something like this makes us see our friends/loved ones in a new light huh?

I hear you. It's funny how something like this makes us see our friends/loved ones in a new light huh?

Exactly!

To be completely honest, it was elective for me. But, who cares? I was borderline obese. I was tired of being fat. I COULD NOT DO IT ON MY OWN. That's it - I couldn't do it. I just didn't want to continue the eating / beating myself up / eat some more roller coaster I was on. I was putting on weight a little every year, eventually I would have been morbidly obese.

Yes, it was elective and I am thrilled that I did it. Even if you think of it as purely plastic surgery - people do that every day. Fake boobs, tummy tuck, nose job - people have electvie surgeries all the time. The awesome part about this surgery is that I am actually healthier and very likely extended my life by doing it. Even if my life is not extended, I know for a fact that I am so much happier because I have stopped thinking about my weight. The surgery is a big deal and you need to do your research and make sure you understand the risks as well as the rewards. Once you make your mind up, you have to own it and not worry about what other people think.

Good luck--