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Am I being unreasonable?



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I had my 1 month check up on 6/29. It's actually 5 weeks since my surgery. I have struggled with depression since day 2 post op, but it's just getting worse. As of 6/29 I have lost 21 lbs since my surgery date on 5/23 and I have lost 30 lbs since 2 weeks before surgery. I hit the dreaded stall at week 3 and haven't moved since.

I know that I have done great, but I don't feel like I have lost a single pound. I don't see it anywhere and no one has said anything to me about losing weight. I guess I feel like I am failing my sleeve. I feel like I have sabatoged myself or something. I alternate walking and aerobics daily and I am pretty good about what I eat. My calories hang out between 500-800 a day. Depending. I did have a few days where I munched on some slider foods that I really just wanted to taste again, but I am mostly good about my food choices. I hit 64 oz of Water minimum and 60grams of Protein.

I guess I feel like this surgery consumes every minute of my life. It's always about the surgery. What to eat, where to eat, how much to eat, what I can lift, how I work out, etc... For something that consumes me constantly, I can't see any change. Sure, my pants fit a little looser, but not much. I don't think that I was emotionally ready for this at all.

Anyone have any ideas on how to get over this slump? How do you guys make it through the overwhelming feelings? Where was everyone's weight loss at 5 weeks? I just want to feel like this is normal and I'm going to be okay.

Thanks for letting me vent.

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From what I have read here...this is normal and you are definitely going to be okay. I am almost 9 weeks out and I hit that rotten stall right on time. Nothing for two weeks! Then it started to move again. I have read here that alot of folks watch their carbs (>30 per day) Some folks may say you are not eating enough calories and your body is fighting you. Everyone is different. I have had the grumpy blues recently and didn't realize that that is also a "side effect" of the sleeve. All the negative stuff that we are dealing with at the beginning will get better in time. You just had major surgery and shocked your body into the next universe. Give it some time to recover. You will do fine.

I am so happy that your pants are looser! During the first week, I lost so much weight really fast...like 9 pounds in 1 week. I was thinking that this would be a breeze and the weight would continue to come off like that. WRONG! I lose anywhere from 5 pounds to no pounds each week. I only weigh once a week. Fluctuations make me crazy. And when the scale doesn't budge, my clothes seem to be a bit more comfy than they were. It is going to happen...just give yourself and your new tummy some time to adjust...

Lots of hugs!

Laura

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I'm only 10 days out, so take this for what it's worth...

The best thing I did for myself was to hire a counselor that specializes in weight loss. I can't say if I haven't needed her or if my time with her helped me not have issues thus far, but I know that *I* feel better having someone to chat with every two weeks about what is going on with me. My insurance even covered it.

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Hey, you ARE going great, and there is no way u can eat as little as your eating and NOT lose weight.

I am 5 1/2 weeks, i've lost 25 lbs, and I'm just now starting to notice that my clothes fit me better, even wearing 1 size smaller. None of my friends that havent seem me since b4 the surgery have even noticed that i've lost 25 lbs....hmmmm but oh well...soon it will be more evident.

I lost 17 lbs in my 1st 6 days......now it seems to be going so slow. I was at a starting weight of 195.......and i know it will come off slower for me then most, based on my weight. but I also know, IT WILL COME OFF....

You may want to lower your calories some, that seems a little high. Eat more chicken & fish...that works well. sounds like you are doing great getting in at least your 60 grams Protein and drinking your Water.....

hang in there, be patient and it WILL COME OFF.

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I was pretty ticked off about this after my first 20 pound loss, nobody seemed to notice, nobody said anything. For some reason as soon as I hit about 30, people started noticing and saying wow, I can't believe you little you have gotten. I think it depends on how we are built as to when it really shows. I still feel my stomach is huge but I can definitely tell it has gone down and my face is much thinner than it was. You will get there.

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I just posted today about this same issue! I just about 4 weeks out and the last two weeks are a stall!!! I thought that this early on something must be wrong. I was reassured by lots of folks who have been there that indeed this is part of the process. My surgeons office called today by chance so I had a chance to ask and again, I was told I was doing fine and to focus on my nutrition and healing. I was told our bodies go through tremendous stress and they are adapting an rearranging, that there is lots of upheaval to our hormones. I'm still stuck weight wise but I am feeling better about this situation. We have to trust the process and know that others that have posted for us have no reason to misguide us. I sure appreciate those with experience sharing what they've been through. We'll get there!!!!! Feel better soon!!!

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Hey girl - don't be too hard on yourself. When I first started, the same thing happened to me. I would get on here and see how people were flying through sizes and weights. I was losing pounds steadily, but not so much in size. I had my surgery and I know that I didn't really buy any new clothes until after Thanksgiving. It turns out I was actually swimming in my old clothes but I was afraid to buy new ones - figured they wouldn't fit and I would just be disappointed. It will happen for you too - you WONT fail this time!!! I promise!! It does seem all consuming at first, you have to reprogram every aspect of your life, but it will get better!! I don't think that you will ever get to the point where a day goes by that you don't think about your sleeve or what you are eating, but that isn't really a bad thing. It won't consume you - it will just become a part of your everyday life. I am a year out and I eat whatever I want whenever I want. You will not regret this, just give yourself some time. I think one of the biggest surprises that I had early on after surgery was how MUCH of my life had been consumed with food! When that is taken away from you, it is a big adjustment. But you can do it!!

Hang in there - and definately use this forum for support! We have all been there in some form or another and everyone here wants to support everyone else. Some days you have questions, and some days you just have to vent! :P

Kathy

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Kathy, thank you so much for this post! I think it will help many of us!!!!

Hey girl - don't be too hard on yourself. When I first started, the same thing happened to me. I would get on here and see how people were flying through sizes and weights. I was losing pounds steadily, but not so much in size. I had my surgery and I know that I didn't really buy any new clothes until after Thanksgiving. It turns out I was actually swimming in my old clothes but I was afraid to buy new ones - figured they wouldn't fit and I would just be disappointed. It will happen for you too - you WONT fail this time!!! I promise!! It does seem all consuming at first, you have to reprogram every aspect of your life, but it will get better!! I don't think that you will ever get to the point where a day goes by that you don't think about your sleeve or what you are eating, but that isn't really a bad thing. It won't consume you - it will just become a part of your everyday life. I am a year out and I eat whatever I want whenever I want. You will not regret this, just give yourself some time. I think one of the biggest surprises that I had early on after surgery was how MUCH of my life had been consumed with food! When that is taken away from you, it is a big adjustment. But you can do it!!

Hang in there - and definately use this forum for support! We have all been there in some form or another and everyone here wants to support everyone else. Some days you have questions, and some days you just have to vent! :P

Kathy

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I've lost 30 lbs total and no one has said anything either. They will, though. You know you're losing and that stall will go away and you will lose quickly again! I've not felt depressed yet, but I have cried twice. I seem to be a bit less patient with people.

I had my 1 month check up on 6/29. It's actually 5 weeks since my surgery. I have struggled with depression since day 2 post op, but it's just getting worse. As of 6/29 I have lost 21 lbs since my surgery date on 5/23 and I have lost 30 lbs since 2 weeks before surgery. I hit the dreaded stall at week 3 and haven't moved since.

I know that I have done great, but I don't feel like I have lost a single pound. I don't see it anywhere and no one has said anything to me about losing weight. I guess I feel like I am failing my sleeve. I feel like I have sabatoged myself or something. I alternate walking and aerobics daily and I am pretty good about what I eat. My calories hang out between 500-800 a day. Depending. I did have a few days where I munched on some slider foods that I really just wanted to taste again, but I am mostly good about my food choices. I hit 64 oz of Water minimum and 60grams of Protein.

I guess I feel like this surgery consumes every minute of my life. It's always about the surgery. What to eat, where to eat, how much to eat, what I can lift, how I work out, etc... For something that consumes me constantly, I can't see any change. Sure, my pants fit a little looser, but not much. I don't think that I was emotionally ready for this at all.

Anyone have any ideas on how to get over this slump? How do you guys make it through the overwhelming feelings? Where was everyone's weight loss at 5 weeks? I just want to feel like this is normal and I'm going to be okay.

Thanks for letting me vent.

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I, too, went through this for the entire first month and a half after surgery--the depression and feeling like I had made a huge mistake. I was losing weight, but not as fast as I wanted (despite eating fewer than 500 calories a day because of serious problems holding anything down!). I felt lost and frustrated and I couldn't see any loss or change in my appearance. Then I hit the -45 pound mark. Suddenly, people were noticing. At week 7, I stopped throwing up every day (thanks, Prilosec!) and started being able to tolerate a larger variety of food. My mood improved almost immediately, as soon as my energy level picked up.

Give yourself time! I think the advice from folks above is excellent, and I would add that I think you need to be gentle with yourself. This isn't an overnight process, but it is a pretty slow, sure one. I don't lose super fast, but I don't gain, and I know that what I lose isn't coming back. I'm looking forward to being a year out and seeing how things are at that point. Hang in there---seriously, it really does improve with time. Once you're able to eat more normally, you won't be consumed with your sleeve, I promise. I was at first, too, and I think everyone is, but as you heal and are able to eat "normal" food, everything gets easier.

Hugs to you!! Meg

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I wouldn't go below 500 calories, no way, that's just asking for trouble! I have so far lost 37 pounds and I can't see a difference at all. I have a lot to lose, so I'm not expecting myself or anyone else to notice it right away. As far as depression goes, that's very normal at this stage so try not to stress over it. Stress is horrible for your body and mind. Try to be patient, it won't happen overnight, but it will happen.

Renee`

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I do feel sometimes like I have taken a second job managing Thumbelina, my name for my sleeve! I just have to trust that it will get easier

I post this article all the time because I think it is really reassuring and explains that you are losing weight during stalls- it is a natural chemical process when your body is rebuilding its glycogen store- I really recommend measuring yourself- I have never been one to do tha and did not do it until I was about three weeks along- and I am amazed at the inches I am losing- even, for example, last week when I lost ZERO. Last week, my sixt week, was my second week of 0 lost in my seven weeks, so you are not lone! As of today I have lost 45 pounds in the 9 weeks since my pre-op started . It will happen!!!!! Trust in the process and your tiny tummy. Really work on the Protein and the Water and know it will work.

The article:

http://www.dsfacts.com/weight-loss-stall-or-plateau.html

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:). Hi there kyra.

Like most of us, I think you're bonking into the reality wall we all experienced when we first got the sleeve. Do you experience superhuman weight loss in record time? Uh huh. Do you suddenly have an inability to gorge yourself on pizza puffs, oreos and beer?

Absolutely. And everything being equal in the beginning it's about the fastest crash diet on the planet. But the problem is, none of it can go fast enough for someone who has been through the most dramatic weight loss protocol anybody could think of and therefore expects that in five minutes from now they will be a size eight. I'm saying this because that's what I expected and half of the first couple months was spent wishing it was a year later already.

But here is the reality. Thirty pounds is a reasonable loss. People who know you will notice but the problem is, if you've had weight loss surgery thirty pounds is probably not dramatic enough for people who don't know you very well to tell.

Also, sizes follow loss. I lost thirty pounds or so the first month, like you, and when I bought clothes again, around two months out, I was an eighteen down from what was probably a 24. That whole time I had no idea what size I was and to be honest, eighteen was not small enough. But I went on vacation in my eighteens and came back and a month later had to buy a whole new wardrobe in size sixteen.

See, in that paragraph it sounds like I was "flying through:" sizes. But I wasn't. It took some time. I know none of it goes fast enough, but the pounds and sizes DO start to come off and you get used to thinking in terms of months and not days. Your body just can *not* sustain a loss of twenty pounds a week or something unless you're seriously ill. It has to drop some, reset the setpoint, adjust the bodysize, release the fat ( and when it's doing that, you will stall) and then drop some more. In fact the way you lose fat is a shift from solid matter, to cellular breakdown, to water/lymph and then out of you through Water and vapor. What your body looks like a lot of times when this is happening is you actually appear *larger* because the body has to hold interstitial Water to transport the fat *out*.

You are operating at a sufficient caloric deficit for the stuff to come off -- just not, you know, tomorrow, like we all want it. The thing that comforted me through that whole adjustment was this: In other incarnations of weight loss I would not be able to hold a steady, non-obsessive, day to day line, go about my business and chillax through all the stalls and slows and stops. Because * I know it's coming off*. It *has* to. Not tomorrow, but pretty soon, and through all of that I know the direction that scale is headed is down, not up. For once that is guaranteed.

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Every time I think I have something insightful to say, Crosswind beats me to it. Excellent post, Crosswind!

Just to throw my (probably obsolete) 2 cents in - I think what will be part of it for me is that I have spent the last 6 months focusing on a BIG turning point - THE SURGERY (dun dun dun!) So now that I am about to go through that, it is the biggest thing on my emotional horizon.

Once that is over with, the biggest thing on the horizon will be GOAL WEIGHT. But that doesn't take into account the HUGE journey between SURGERY and GOAL WEIGHT. It's a lotta miles of road to cover between the two, and its easy to gloss over the journeying that will be taking place. I try to remind myself every time I start feeling down like you that walking the path is just as important as getting to the place to which the path is leading. I love the path already, but I do need reminding from time to time that I'm walking it - it is not the Autobahn and I am not driving a Lamborghini. (This is also why my weight loss ticker dude is a little snail.)

Speaking from experience with depression (I'm Bipolar II and have suffered depression on and off, mostly on, since I was 8 years old,) there is nothing that is unreasonable about it - you ALWAYS have a reason, even if you can't identify it and neither can anyone else. You spoke quite clearly on your reasons, so this isn't the case with you. Don't beat yourself up over being depressed - it happens. Seeking counseling or seeing a psychiatrist may help. Psychs can write scripts if they feel you need it.

Also remember - counseling isn't everything. Sometimes medication is in order, and that is OK. Unless you turn out to be bipolar like me, you won't have to be on it forever. Just until things start getting brighter for you.

Which I hope they do, very soon.

*hugs*

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I'm only 10 days out, so take this for what it's worth...

The best thing I did for myself was to hire a counselor that specializes in weight loss. I can't say if I haven't needed her or if my time with her helped me not have issues thus far, but I know that *I* feel better having someone to chat with every two weeks about what is going on with me. My insurance even covered it.

I definitely feel everyone here who id dealing with a bit of depression because figuring out what to eat, taking supplements and exercising is a bit overwhelming, especially when we have deal with our jobs, family, etc.

SleeveGirl- TX, I was thinking about going to a counselor just to have someone to talk to about this that I won't drive crazy because it does become one of the main things on your mind. How did you find a counselor specializing in weight loss. I haven't seen any that advertise that around here, so to speak. I'm not sure how to find someone experienced. I thought about going to someone specializing in eating disorders but I don't believe I really have an eating disorder, so to speak. I've always just liked food but I am a little suprised tht I miss it more than I thought.. food makes me sick now so even if I want to eat it, I don't enjoy it anymore. I do get hungry, both physically and mentally so I have to eat and do eat. I guess food is no longer a comfort to me. Hard to explain!

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