Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

UGH....never telling a stranger again!



Recommended Posts

So after thinking about it for months, and putting it off, I decided to join Curves (again) and got the support from my surgeon and even a WLS coupon for the sign up fee. This time I chose a location close to my work. The plan is to go on my lunch hour. This will a) keep me from feeling rushed after work and/or coming up with reasons I can't go c) keep me from eating out during lunch and d) keep me from, ahem, shopping too much during lunch. Seemed like a win win win win situation.

I make my sign up appointment, walk in excited, and proceed to fill out the paperwork. One of my questions was if I would need a doctor's note to pause my membership during my first month post op. Well, I should have never said ANYTHING!

The owner(?) proceeded to tell me that she did not support WLS and was going to talk me out of it. Kept saying things like "they are going to cut on you" and "that's just not natural" and "can't you just eat less" and, wait for it, "that's easy way out"!!!! It was all I could do to not get up and walk out of there. She even proceeded to tell me that her overweight son was signed up to have the surgery and she talked him out of it! Seriously?

I got some digs in. Told her the statistics of perminant weight loss with surgery vs. without. Told her that being overweight just "is not natural" either. Told her that anyone that thinks this is the easy way out isn't educatated about the process. And I also told her that she should be ashamed of not supporting her son, that it isn't an overnight decision and it took a lot of courage for him to a) come to that decision and c) confide in her for support.

She said he could lose weight other ways. I said has he? She said no. I said well those other ways aren't exactly working then are they.

I thought about not going back there. But I need this. I need to incorporate regular exercise into my routine.

I think it was good in a way. This surely won't be the last person I come into contact with that disagrees with my decision. And I feel like I held my own and knew the facts and answered back in an educatated and confident way.

I'm just really hoping come July that I prove her wrong!

Anyways the whole point of my rant is.....Isn't Curves for Women supposed to be one of the places that WLS doctors recommend? Maybe the employees need to take some information and/or sensitivity classes!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That lady is just OVER-opinionated and rude. Just thank God you are not her child and feel bad for her son, whose own mother doesn't support his decision to get healthy!!!!!:angry:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Good for you for giving her an education!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You had a very wonderful and thoughtful response and showed a lot of poise in the situation. I probably would have told her where to put it and just walked out. Now you have the upper hand. Just start working out there, losing weight with the help of the VSG, and shrink before her eyes. Maybe you can be an exaxmple for her and she'll change her mind about her son. That would also be a win-win! Good luck!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Since when is surgery the "easy way out?" If I was only 5 lbs overweight and decided on surgery, I can understand her voiced concern. Did not wake up one morning and say "Hey, permanet alteration sounds good" and drive off to surgeons to get sleeved, as one does when ordering take out lunch. What sounds good...hmmm. Now screaming into an order board...."One sleeve please, no leaks." The presleeved me might have sat on her, where as you were much more controlled.

WLS is not for the faint of heart. This is forced commitment since one may never have regrowth of a whole stomach. Ignorance in one who is professing to be a health professional is tragic.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Since when is surgery the "easy way out?"

I never try to convince people it's not easy -- for several reasons, not least of which is because I have personally found it to be ludicrously easy.

My questions back to these non-thinking 'easy way out'-ers always involve inquiring how much smarter might it be to do that which is both more effective and easier? Is there some particular virtue about doing something the "hard way"?? Good lord, doing things that are clever in terms of outcome and effort is why humans don't live in effing caves anymore. Do people say OMG YOU TOOK THE EASY WAY OUT when you, e.g., choose to send an email instead of climbing a mountain and building a fire with flint and steel and then sending smoke signals??

There is also an underlying inseparable value judgment in the whole 'easy way out' thing -- to wit, "you're a big fat old fatty who has no willpower or self-control or discipline and you therefore deserve to be punished via ineffective starvation diets and weight regain overandoverandoveragain."

To that judgment I say: Piss right off. Go pound sand. At the end of the day, I have clearly chosen the smarter alternative. They can all suck it.

:D

Right. I'm in a bit of a mood today. I am ranting (is this the rant section?), so I hope no one takes it personally. I could also rant about Curves in general, but I will spare everyone my precious opinions. :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks so much for your support! I white knuckled it all the way home and ran to my computer to tell my sleeve family.

One thing I forgot is that she kept saying "you're too young". Well thank GOD I'm only 32! Does she want me to spend another 20 years in misery and then do this?

@swizzly I LOVE your angle on this!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have a question, "What IS natural?", I mean the woman at the Curves place brought it up. Let's see we all eat a ton of PROCESSED FOODS, that's not natural. We stuff ourselves with high caloric foods that don't even exist in nature - which is of course not natural. We sit around in climate controlled buildings which is not natural. We don't walk much but instead get around in another climate controlled box called a car, which is not natural either. We join "clubs" and pay for the privilege of exercising to lose weight - which again is not natural. Let's face it we as a species have done very little that is "natural" for a long, long time.

Just forget her, she is an asshat. You did well by not hauling off and whopping her upside the head - which, by the way, WOULD be natural in my book.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This just shows you how uninformed or egotistical people are. It took A LOT of courage for you to go down the road you chose. Elective surgery is not for everybody. Plus, as you all know the surgery alone will not get you to your goal. It takes much will power and determination.

Shrug it off...expect more of these individuals whenever you mention what you did. Keep your chin up!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow, ignorant and not such a great business woman berating customers. Real smart. :) Sorry she got all in your face, sounds like you got a lot in though, not that she seems to be the type of person to listen!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had joined curves for a year. Went faithly 2-3 times a week. Guess how much weight Iost...Nada, zip, not a freaking pound. I watched what I ate and just could not lose weight. I also tried weight watchers and lost on 7 lbs. For me, weight loss surgery was the only option for me. This was not the easy way out. It is a tool as anything else but a tool that has helped me to be successful. So far I have been lucky and have not come across anyone negative to me regarding surgery. Hang in there and you can do it. You handled this person in a dignified manner, I don't think I would have been as gracious as you were.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

YOU BETTER SAY IT ROOTMAN. YOU REALLY SAID A GOOD MOUTHFUL THEN AND SAID IT VERY WELL! LOL :rolleyes:

I have a question, "What IS natural?", I mean the woman at the Curves place brought it up. Let's see we all eat a ton of PROCESSED FOODS, that's not natural. We stuff ourselves with high caloric foods that don't even exist in nature - which is of course not natural. We sit around in climate controlled buildings which is not natural. We don't walk much but instead get around in another climate controlled box called a car, which is not natural either. We join "clubs" and pay for the privilege of exercising to lose weight - which again is not natural. Let's face it we as a species have done very little that is "natural" for a long, long time.

Just forget her, she is an asshat. You did well by not hauling off and whopping her upside the head - which, by the way, WOULD be natural in my book.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow, go you. I don't think I could have calmly spoken with her.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • vsg.with.sharon

      Hey everyone!
      I’m new here! Looking for some friends! 🥰
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×