Hello all,

Sorry but I have to vent!

So last night was my first shocking experience! My husband, our 2 children and myself met his grandparents for dinner last night. They were not aware that I had surgery in January. So his grandmother commmented on how well I looked and asked me how I was losing the weight. So I told her the truth and said "I had weight loss surgery". She huffed and said well that does not count and is not fair to the people who are trying to lose it the right way. I have alot of respect "Normally" for this woman so I just stared at her dumbfounded. I wanted to go off. She then continued on of how I chose the easy way out. I tried to explain to her that it was a medical issue and in no way would I be able to lose the weight on my own. Ugghh I have to say everyone so far has been very supportive. I really did not expect that from her. Anyone else run across the negative side of people?

MJB,

I have posted two items on this subject.

Usually, I excuse the elderly who are very much set in their ways. Depending how old they are.

Please read "Friends and weight loss" on this forum and as far as "easy way out" see item below:

Lash

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One member asked the question: Is sleeve surgery “taking the easy way out”? This question really got my juices flowing and thinking. For all of us who endured the agony and anguish of bariatric surgery, we recognize there is nothing easy about this most important matter.

Let see, how easy this is? 25 intelligent reasons for making our choice.

1. Exercising and working out with little or no results (life long)

2. Yo-yo dieting with little or no results (life long)

3. Heart disease

4. Respiratory problems

5. Stroke

6. High blood pressure

7. Elevated cholesterol

8. Diabetes

9. sleep disorders

10. Gout

11. Discrimination (on the job, in public, airline seats, etc)

12. Gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD)

13. Amenorrhea - absence of menstrual bleeding (gals)

14. Impotence (guys)

15. Cancer

16. Psychological problems

17. Kidney disease

18. Liver disorders

19. Economic factors (cost of associated illnesses, food, clothes etc)

20. Insurance issues

21. Osteoarthritis (a degeneration of cartilage and its underlying bone within a joint)

22. Social problems – (family, friends, dating etc)

23 Gallbladder disease

24. Pregnancy complications

25. DEATH

The dictionary defines “easy” as:

1. Not hard or difficult; requiring no great labor or effort:

2. Free from pain, discomfort, worry, or care:

Our lives have been anything but easy.

As always, comments welcome.

Lash

Hello all,

Sorry but I have to vent!

So last night was my first shocking experience! My husband, our 2 children and myself met his grandparents for dinner last night. They were not aware that I had surgery in January. So his grandmother commmented on how well I looked and asked me how I was losing the weight. So I told her the truth and said "I had weight loss surgery". She huffed and said well that does not count and is not fair to the people who are trying to lose it the right way. I have alot of respect "Normally" for this woman so I just stared at her dumbfounded. I wanted to go off. She then continued on of how I chose the easy way out. I tried to explain to her that it was a medical issue and in no way would I be able to lose the weight on my own. Ugghh I have to say everyone so far has been very supportive. I really did not expect that from her. Anyone else run across the negative side of people?

You know... this is the biggest reason that not many people know I had WLS. You just never know how people are going to react. Sorry you had to go through that. We definitely didnt chose the easy way out. This is the hardest thing I have ever done. Its painful, frustrating, confusing and time consuming. And that is just a small part of the story. I could go on and on! Emotionally it is super hard! You didnt need that on top of everything else we go through with this.

I would have told her I was eating better and watching my caloric intake... NOt a total lie..but I do understand old folks are very opinionated as well as stubburn..I don't think at all not for a minute you took the easy way out. I think having the sleeve is not that easy. Yes it controls your hunger and the amount you eat, but their are days when I want bad foods.

My Mom said just to eat less...thanks Mom, hadn't tried that before. I have ignored her and will be having surgery Monday (insurance drama had to bump).

What a ****... I'm sorry you had to sit there and listen to that. Is this woman overweight herself?

I haven't really come across anything negative other than jealousy. If someone said that to me I'd probably shrug and tell them "welcome to 2011, weight loss surgery is a very viable option. Sorry you are such an old fart."

No one has been negative to me, but if they were I would say "Everyone is different and if traditional weight loss worked for me I would have done it years ago. I did what I had to in order to get healthy."

Nuff said.

No one has been negative to me, but if they were I would say "Everyone is different and if traditional weight loss worked for me I would have done it years ago.

I like that answer. I haven't had anything negative so far but I am 1) not showing that much and 2) work in a very "male" engineering department and my husband said that most guys, especially hardware and firmware engineers would either not notice or rather die before saying anything like that anyway.

But that's the one I'll remember for a short answer. "I have tried it the traditional way for the last 20 years and it didn't work out for me, so I decided I had to try something else."

I would have asked her why she thinks you don't deserve to take "the easy way out." Is there a reason you should be somehow "punished" and have repeated weight loss failures, followed by weight-related health issues, for the rest of your life?

From anyone I've ever heard of, it's not anywhere close to "easy". You're not taking the easy way out, you're finally willing to fight dirty. All's fair in war they say, and it is a war.

hahaha I love how your having WLS isn't *fair* to other people. In what universe does THAT make sense?

Thank you for adding another reason to my arsenal of "Why I'm keeping my WLS private": Old judgmental people.

Even though I am having a relatively easy time with my recovery and weight loss so far, this has been one of the most difficult things I've done - and one of the hardest decisions I've ever made.

I'm not sure how you were able to let that slide. That in itself is an inspiration. <3<3<3

I've had a few people say that too me... but what they dont realise is that it isnt an easy way out.... its an aid

yeah ok we dont go through the struggle of having to resist the food so much but we have to go through the pain, the discomfort, the 2 months on liquids! and that took some bloody will power...

we have sacrificed going out and eating a full meal for the rest of our lives so that we can actually have a life...

They just dont understand what its like to need that kind of help thats all...

Yes, I too have had this little problem. My sister told me why don't you do it on your own?! You should go to the gym n work out. Well just to say she is heavier than me and I lost 60lbs on my own, as she goes to the gym for hours n I don't see a big difference. I had high blood pressure and also have spinal stenosis. I had this surgery almost 4 weeks ago and I was telling my self why did you do it!?! Yes those first weeks are super hard!! N she didn't see all I've been thru. Now I feel better and my doctor ok me with eating grilled fish and chicken. It is so yummy and I actually enjoy it. I make better food choises and yet she continues with her old habits. I just hope all goes well with all of us and some people just need to back off because they don't understand what we have been thru.

I haven't heard THAT comment, but I've kept my surgery info privy to a small circle of good friends and family. The only time I had a bad reaction was when a friend's mom told me I was going to die because one of her friends died a few years after having WLS (presumably, bypass - she never shared the crucial detail of what type of WLS) and that I made the stupidest decision ever. Then she stormed out....you'd think people would have cultivated SOME manners by the time they get to their 50s. But I have been witness to a variety of rants about how people go to Mexico to get "all kinds of stupid surgeries" - including WLS - and then "we" have to pay for their complications (I live in Canada). I just bite my tongue....

A lot of times you have to truly ignore what the elderly may say. They are definitely a population that will say whatever comes to their minds as you witnessed that night. However do not feel bad or have second thoughts about telling her the truth. For all the people you have told it sounds as if she is the first negative person you have encountered. I have no problem telling anyone who ask me about my weightloss that I had WLS. I am proud that I was brave enough to finally take control of my life and my health. For the couple of rude people you may come across there are many more supportive people. Also dont forget this is your testimony and you may be helping other people by telling them how you have the sleeve and love it, those people are able to see how successful the procedure has been in improving your health.

What a ****... I'm sorry you had to sit there and listen to that. Is this woman overweight herself?

I haven't really come across anything negative other than jealousy. If someone said that to me I'd probably shrug and tell them "welcome to 2011, weight loss surgery is a very viable option. Sorry you are such an old fart."

I'm gonna remember that one..lol