For the singles out there

[rsr53 1]

Always pack an Emergency Kit: Protein powder, jerky/chicken or beef, maybe some string cheese, nuts, or some trail mix you make yourself with the nuts, some dried fruits. Container of flavored Water. The insulated kits are almost purselike for the ladies, but I think a guy could keep a smaller one in the car or convert a totebag to look like a briefcase to keep these things in.

I agree that appetizers can work in keeping servings small. Just be sure they are not heavy in fat and deep fried. I like to order my dinner salads with dressing on the side so that I can dip my veggies in it--I also divide my plate BEFORE the visit and meal experience. This way, I don't overeat or don't eyeball portions as much--split in half and eat the rest the next day.

If my date is new, I always try to consume a Protein rich meal before that date arrives to pick me up--this way I am full before going to the restaurant, but by the time visiting and driving to a restaurant or event all I want is light meal.

Now, if this seems to intimidate a date, then that person may not be a gem--I would understand if my date had WLS because I am there myself. Mine is RNY that needs Sleeve Revision--waiting for auth to get it done.

I think the attitude we bring to developing relationships with people and our nutritional habits will determine the successes or the lack of it regarding our WLS. Hope these strategies might help any and all in this situation.

[former_vbg 198]

Thanks for the post, those are good tips. As far as how the date acts in response to the WLS, ideally, we should be able to tell them in the beginning. I think given the overall negativity among the general public due to lack of education and mis-information, and so the idea of telling a new date can be a bit intimidating. I do think its important they be told- for many reasons, but the biggest reason because you need their support in managing your new eating habits/ lifestyle.

It's not very often to hear of someone who has had an RNY, and then has a Sleeve. I am just curious who your surgeon is.

Always pack an Emergency Kit: Protein powder, jerky/chicken or beef, maybe some string cheese, nuts, or some trail mix you make yourself with the nuts, some dried fruits. Container of flavored Water. The insulated kits are almost purselike for the ladies, but I think a guy could keep a smaller one in the car or convert a totebag to look like a briefcase to keep these things in.

I agree that appetizers can work in keeping servings small. Just be sure they are not heavy in fat and deep fried. I like to order my dinner salads with dressing on the side so that I can dip my veggies in it--I also divide my plate BEFORE the visit and meal experience. This way, I don't overeat or don't eyeball portions as much--split in half and eat the rest the next day.

If my date is new, I always try to consume a Protein rich meal before that date arrives to pick me up--this way I am full before going to the restaurant, but by the time visiting and driving to a restaurant or event all I want is light meal.

Now, if this seems to intimidate a date, then that person may not be a gem--I would understand if my date had WLS because I am there myself. Mine is RNY that needs Sleeve Revision--waiting for auth to get it done.

I think the attitude we bring to developing relationships with people and our nutritional habits will determine the successes or the lack of it regarding our WLS. Hope these strategies might help any and all in this situation.

[mina 27]

I understand where you are coming from. I'm single and is going to have the surgery in june. i would not feel comfortable telling a guy on the first date i've had weight loss surgery (like you said, you don't want the focus to be on weight). it's not lying not to mention it. the first few months after surgery i don't plan on dating cause that's too stressfull. once i have a better handle on the sleeve i'll do what other people say and order from the appetizer menu. there are tapas restaurants, so if you have to share a meal maybe he won't notice (or if he does, you'll be too cute and deal with it .... now how not to look stupid chewing, chewing, chewing i don't know, lol.

Thanks for the post, those are good tips. As far as how the date acts in response to the WLS, ideally, we should be able to tell them in the beginning. I think given the overall negativity among the general public due to lack of education and mis-information, and so the idea of telling a new date can be a bit intimidating. I do think its important they be told- for many reasons, but the biggest reason because you need their support in managing your new eating habits/ lifestyle.

It's not very often to hear of someone who has had an RNY, and then has a Sleeve. I am just curious who your surgeon is.

[niassy151 60]

I'm single. I haven't had the surgery yet. But I've thought about this A LOT.

I think a few different things:

The first date sets the tone for the relationship.

So I'm really wanting the first date to NOT be centered around food. Like working out (rock climbing, dance class, hiking, ice skating... something active) because I want to know I'm with someone that IS active.

However, if it is a meal, I don't think "regular" sized people notice. I agree with the guy above that said he will notice if you buy the most expensive thing and then take 3 bites - then he'd notice! But otherwise, I personally might even ask if he wants to split something or just order something small (salad or soup). I think a guy will be happy he didn't have to buy drinks, appetizers, Entrees, desserts... etc. And if he did ask, I would say, I used to be a lot heavier, so now I'm really strict about what I eat and I'm much happier this way. I can't WAIT to be able to say that - I USED to be fat.

Bottom line, if he's not supportive about something so simple (and something that saves him money too!) he's not going ot be the right one for me.

(I haven't been on a date in over three years! LOL)

[fotogrphr 69]

If you are not ready to share WHY, just share WHAT. " I had stomach surgery and don't eat much anymore". If you aren't comfortable saying it's wls don't. If he asks just tell him you don't want that conversation to be how you remember your first date. Maybe another time. Let's get real. We live in a food driven society. That's how we all got here. Just control the situation and keep it in YOUR comfort zone. Eat your normal routine and keep conversation flowing on other topics. The more normal you make it, the easier he will accept it as normal.

[TheCurvyJones 721]

I have always been upfront about my surgery. I see no reason to hide it and I hold pretty strong to my eating patterns and needs, so there's a reason for me refusing to go to a spot where the point is to eat a lot of food. I've never received any negative reactions to it. Most men seem surprised and amazed and have a lot of questions that I don't mind asking.

It also helps to encourage date ideas that don't center around food. Mini golf or bowling or an art museum. Give me a chance to work up an appetite and I can eat a little more.

I've been rather disappointed, really, about dating post surgery. I thought things would be a lot different for me once I was thinner and more attractive. Turns out the men in my city aren't interested in women like me, no matter what size she wears.

[lynn2win 142]

So guys In are not interested in attractive woman or woma

[JeanZ_RN 378]

Some years ago I had a first date with a guy who told me over dinner that he'd had a kidney transplant, and he went into detail about his medical issues. I'm a registered nurse, so hearing it didn't upset me, but I did decide not to pursue / accept a second date. I could understand why he would put that out there -- probably he'd had some bad experiences -- but I would have advised him to wait just a bit longer to bring it up.

WLS does not have the long-term implications that transplant patients have to deal with, but still, I think I will feel more comfortable waiting until the 2nd or 3rd date to talk about it -- and then only if it comes up. The guy I mentioned above just sort of blurted it out.

[tarabara 14]

You should be eating the proper portion size there is nothing wrong with a danty eater

[Susysleever 265]

If you're cute and the guy likes you, he doesn't care. I had multiple dates with post-surgery women.

A guy's dating checklist:

1) Is she bipolar or otherwise psychotic? No.

2) Is she married? No.

OK she's all good.

Hey hey hey. Im bipolar. I take my meds and Im good. What about the people that aren't diagnosed? Your comment really pissed me off. Insensitive (bleep)

[A.c. Nelums 11]

Coffee/tea dates, we can get away with...but food, yea right...Unless you pack a pinic with foods you can eat and feed your left over bread to the ducks!

No matter where you go, there's food...

I've never been "normal." And now I'm a freaking alien!

But explaining to a non WLP is diffcult, for the most part they don't understand.

Can't I just meet a WLP who understands?!?!? That would be so much easier...