QUESTION for moms.. FUNNY

[Momotrips 0]

With triplet boys, I have more than my share of penis humor around here. I could tell you stories...

We've always called them "winkies". They're almost 8 and still the bathrooms that they use are STILL covered in pee - disgusting!

I just started reading "Wicked" and was looking at the map of Oz and the boys wanted to see it and about died laughing when they saw the area of Oz called "Winkie Country"!

[gentlespirit 1]

This thread has had me laughing so hard! I have 2 adult sons, but these stories bring back lots of memories! have to say, I'm glad mine are grown and on their own now!!!

Emily

[bandayed 0]

My son too is a holder....I started this thing with him so I don't have to embarrass him with the penis word in front of people -- I just say "hands free buddy" and his hands fly out of his pants....I don't even think he realizes when he's doing it!

[babyjane 0]

my boys call it their pee-pee and i call it their pee-pee or penis. my 9 yr old loves to pinch his, move it around, he says he likes for it to stick up! LOL of course, i have explained all the things to do or NOT to do--but he still finds his penis to be fascinating. he asked me yesterday what a dick was!!! he heard this at VACATION BIBLE SCHOOL friday.........s/o called s/o else a"dick"...OMG. when my husband told him what it was,and not to use that word, he did not believe DH!! he asked me twice what it really was...it's not a pee-pee is it, mom? LOL and i worried about what they might hear on the school bus when they rode home in the afternoons(we drive them to school in mornings)---so evidently, VBS was very interesting this year!! i forgot, we also call it "wing -ding", especially when they were smaller. my sister gave them a hot wheels car once that had the name wing-ding on the bottom of it...the older one could read it and cracked up. they wondered why santa(it was xmas) made a car with such a name on it!! oh, me.......i told them santa did not know what the elves put on the bottom of it.........:biggrin1:

[Jachut 487]

Its a willy in this house. Willies and girlie bits.

My girlfriend had to explain to her son who saw her getting out the shower and said "what's that?" She explained that she had a vagina. A week or so later, he was staying at his nan's house and she was in the shower too. He said to her "nan, mummy has a jar, but you have an old jar" :heh:

[SherryW 4]

Did anyone know that a weanis is actually the skin on your elbow? hahaha My son called it his peepee. I can't say he went through the holding stage...at least I can't remember it but, he's 16 now and I REALLY don't wanna know if he's doing it now hahaha

[Carlene 12]

I have the all time best penis story. I have 3 sons (all grown now) and they were about 12,14 and 16 when the younger two were watching a movie that included a Jewish circumcision ritual. Number 3 son ran into the kitchen yelling, "Mom, mom...you're not gonna believe this. There's a priest in this movie and he just cut off the end of this baby's penis - with a sword!"

I explained that the "priest" (we're Catholic), was actually a Jewish Rabbi and in their religion, circumcision is a very sacred and important event. I told him it wasn't the end of the baby's penis that got cut off, but just the foreskin, etc, etc, etc.

And since the opportunity had presented itself (I couldn't believe that in all this time, it had never occurred to me to explain circumcision), I mentioned that little Protestant babies, and little Catholic babies, were also circumcised, but in the hospital - by a doctor.

It took a few seconds for THAT to sink in, but he finally asked if he had been circumcised and I said, "Yes, and so were your brothers."

Youngest son ran back into the den, where I heard him enlightening his older brother. "...and you and me and Tommy were circumcised in the hospital right after we were born."

Middle son's response was to roll on the floor laughing, "You are sooooooooo dumb. I can't believe you fell for that. Mom is just pulling your leg." So I had to call him into the kitchen and go thru the whole circumcision talk again. Like his brother, this one was absolutely appalled by the whole idea.

In retrospect, I'm not sure I would have them circumcised if I gave birth today. My daughter left her son "intact" on the advice of her pediatrician, and I think I'm inclined to agree with them.

[Jachut 487]

It used to be just the norm though, most boys were circumcised. I dont have any particular feelings on it one way or another but didnt get my boys done because I just couldnt see any reason why.

Its actually difficult these days (in Australia anyway) to find someone who'll do it - unless there's a specific reason for it.

[FunnyDuddies 6]

We did it for Andy because dad is like that, and so is grandad. We didn't want there to be an issue of difference. Also, we feel that it is cleaner. I know, I know. The guy can keep it clean. But not as clean, and did you know that there are studies linking cervical cancer to uncircumsized penises?

Ok...for us it was just the looks issue and being just like dad.

[Kat817 19]

At our house, we had Willies, and Hoo-Hoo's!! And our key phrase for get your hands outta your pants was "Quit shifting gears!"

Years later, I was providing day care for a couple of young brothers, who were by FAR the worst with this that I have ever seen....they had never been told not to do this just anywhere, it was all ok with their parents. Trying to respect how they were raising their sons, and also respecting the other kids I cared for, he was told he had to be alone in a room if he wanted to hold it! So my DD and her then b/f (now the ex husband) come in from school, she was heading to the bathroom, and there was one of the boys, Niles....she comes out and tells me "Mom, Niles is in there shifting gears...does he take long?" I thought I was going to have to call 911 for the b/f, he laughed until he could not breath, tears rolling down his face. Years later, after they married, all you had to say was "shifting gears" and he would be rolling on the floor laughing. He said it was the wierdest conversation between Mother and Daughter he had ever heard! Hadn't thought about this is forever!! I needed the laugh. Will try to keep all this in mind for the grandsons!

As for the circumcision, our son was done, like you say mostly because my DH was. Grandson too. Both my Dad and my FIL had to be done later in life, and they were very vociferous in wanting it done in infancy!

Thanks for the laughs!!

Kat

[3loves 0]

We also call it a pee pee. My oldest seems to have more of a fascination with his than the younger one. The oldest ALWAYS has his hands in his pants and sometimes it hurts me to see him pull it out so far. It reminds me of "Stretch Armstrong". Does anyone remember that? My brothers had one growing up.....it would stretch forever.

One night we were both watching TV and he said, "look mommy". It was at full attention. I said, "put that thing back in there and leave it alone". The next day I had a talk with my DH b/c I didn't understand. I guess it's a boy thing. I was relieved to hear my son was normal. You would think growing up with three brothers, I would have some experience. I guess I wasn't exposed to their antics except for peeing outside.

[RavensRiches 0]

This thread is JUST what the Doctor ordered! I am laughing so hard my port site hurts!

I have three girls (8yrs, almost 5yrs, and 2.5yrs) and my baby boy is just that--a baby! He's 5 months old yesterday. I haven't experienced the taliwacker thing yet but with my girls, we call everything by it's medical name (occupational hazard I guess). My eldest daughter is the one who taught her 1st grade classmates all about conception, pregnancy, and birth. I had plenty of phone calls during that year!!! Needless to say, some of those moms are now my friends and can laugh about it. On the plus side, human anatomy will be a breeze to my kids! My hubbie even refers to the bones in their medical terms, for example.."The distal head of the right femur was protruding from skin.". When we are on long road trips as a family, my girls either ask for scary stories or they say, "Daddy, tell us about one of your patients. A really good one with lots of blood. Did she die!"

As far as the topic of the thread---we have some neighbors (damn, I wish I had bought that land when I had the chance) who have two little girls who are the same age as my two eldest daughters. The oldest one is extremely talented and can stick her fingers in her crotch at the same time as she is picking and eating her boogers! I am always amazed at the human species. The wonder of it all. The younger child is just preoccupied with her boogers, not her vagina. Whenever they visit (damn, I wish I had bought that land when I had the chance!) and they do this, I tell them that it's not going anywhere so they can let it go. And with the booger eating thing, I just try to catch them in the act and tell them not to eat it. "I saw you! Don't eat it!" The younger one thinks this is so funny and will eat it just to see my reaction. She's a keeper she is.

When we found out our son was a boy, I requested a second ultrasound to confirm gender because I was a little freaked out about the boy thing. I wanted to double check. I just kept thinking about all that rough hewn cedar paneling in the bathrooms and how we needed to get that replaced soon. All the little boys I've known have not been able to control their pee. It brings out the germ freak in me! Honestly, I had a real problem with this. I was scared to parent a boy. Not to mention that I would have to learn new parenting skills. Girls are easy. They potty train themselves pretty early (mine do anyway). They like to look clean and pretty. They don't drink strange looking and smelling chemicals from the barn at random. In fact, I've never needed to call poison control and can't imagine why I'd ever need to with my girls. But boys! Oh my God! They see a gas can sitting all alone and think they need to drink out of it just to keep it company! Let's see, it smells bad, it's green, and it has a skull-and-crossbones on the outside. It MUST be food!

I think holding onto their pin-ess is the least of our worries!!!

[Hippo's Hope 0]

Am I weird, or what??? My kids were born in 1970 and 1971 and they called their's vagina and penis. Now I have a 3 year old grandson and he has a penis too. Oh, that reminds me, I have a story also. My grandson used to bend forward and look at his crotch area when sitting on the toilet pooping so he could watch the poop come out and fall into the toilet. So one day he says to me, "Grandma, did you know poop comes from your testicles?" I thought that was funny but a little weird until I looked and realized that from his angle it did appear to do just that. I had to explain to him that it actually came from his anus, located behind the testicles and that if it actually came from the testicles that would make it pretty hard for girls and ladies to poop, since they don't even have testicles.

[Hippo's Hope 0]

Ravensriches,

(damn, I wish I had bought that land when I had the chance)

You cracked me up on that one!!

Hope

[FunnyDuddies 6]

Am I weird, or what??? My kids were born in 1970 and 1971 and they called their's vagina and penis. Now I have a 3 year old grandson and he has a penis too. Oh, that reminds me, I have a story also. My grandson used to bend forward and look at his crotch area when sitting on the toilet pooping so he could watch the poop come out and fall into the toilet. So one day he says to me, "Grandma, did you know poop comes from your testicles?" I thought that was funny but a little weird until I looked and realized that from his angle it did appear to do just that. I had to explain to him that it actually came from his anus, located behind the testicles and that if it actually came from the testicles that would make it pretty hard for girls and ladies to poop, since they don't even have testicles.

That is TOO funny.

I love kid stories, cause even though we all have different stories, they all seem to really basically be the same. and it just goes to show, we may all be going crazy, but we are all going there together.