Met with the RE today--not so great VERY LONG SORRY

[deedee 5]

A little history...My husband and I tried to get pregnant for a little over a year on our own with no luck. We then went to Shady Grove Fertility Center and I had lots of testing done and it was decided that I needed to have a myomectomy to remove a whole bunch of fibroids...I also wasn't ovulating at the time (cycles ranges from 45-90 days if I remember correctly??). Finally in January 09, I had my myomectomy and planned to returned to RE in May 09. In April, my husband sat me down and talked to me about his concerns regarding me getting pregnant at such a high weight. I agreed, although was very upset at first, and started a search which ultimately led to the VSG.

As soon as I hit goal (Jan '10), and after talking to my surgeon, we started trying again and in June '10 I made the decision to go back to the RE. I went in yesterday for 3 day blood work (to see if I was ovulating and stuff) and an ultrasound. I asked the tech if she could share if there were any fibroids and she pointed out just one and pretty small at that (she said like the size of a pea).

I got a call then yesterday afternoon and was told all my blood work looked good, but they wanted to schedule me for a hysterosonogram to check out my fibroids and polyps. I was a little concerned, but made the appointment.

Well today I had a follow up with the doctor and he let me know that he saw a lot of Fluid that he thinks might indicate that my tubes are blocked and it was decided that I'd get an HSG test to see if they are. The last one (Dec 08) showed open tubes, but that was before the myomectomy. He said that sometimes during the healing process of removing the fibroids, scar tissue can develop that blocks the tubes.

I go in next Tuesday for both the sonogram and HSG test and then will meet again with the RE to decide where to go from there. I am just so disappointed. The driving force behind me having the VSG was to get healthy in order to achieve and carry a healthy pregnancy. I know that there is still hope, but also know that after self-paying for the VSG, we really cannot afford IVF out of pocket (and my insurance has an exclusion policy).

I know that I'm blessed in so many areas of my life and AM grateful, but goodness, why does this have to be so hard? I know I need to get over my pity party, but I'm just so sad.

If you made it this far, thank you for reading. I'll be sure to post updates. Good luck to everyone on their motherhood journey!

[SouthernSleever 228]

DeeDee, I am so sorry you and your hubby are going through this. I don't have any word of wisdom but just wanted to say that I was thinking of you.

[Lisalu 89]

Hey Deedee,

I struggled with fertility issues too. I finally had 2 term pregnancies and they both followed HSG tests. If you have a mini obstruction, the HSG seems to clear it out. Ok, that was totally unscientific. The HSG does seem to boost fertility for a couple months but they don't know why. It might be clearing an obstruction or it might be something else.

If you have a serious obstruction, is IVF an option?

Sending good, unobtructed vibes your way,

Lisalu

[kbl 3]

deedee..... sorry that you and your husband are facing the struggle of infertility. i also had infertility issues. so i have been there done that... so if you ever need to vent you can vent to me. i understand the heartache of wanting a child. our daughter was born last october after 13 years.... so do not loose hope. if need be you will be able to find a way for ivf. set up a fund and let family donate or in stead of birthday or christmas... they can donate to your fund. also you are still really young so there are RE who will give you a price that has a money back guarantee. there is also financing for ivf. sending fertile thoughts kelly

[deedee 5]

Thank you so much ladies, your kind words made me tear up. I was just in a little self pity mode, but I know that I'm not out yet. IVF can still be an option (I live in a state with mandatory insurance coverage, just don't work in this state) in a year if I get a teaching job here in my own state, which I plan on doing again after this next school year. If only I would have stayed at my old school, I'd have coverage for this year...oh well, no need to dwell on "what ifs?"

I'm hoping for some better news next week and will let you know. Again, thank you so much for your responses, it really means A LOT!!!

[determined1 3]

so sorry to hear, I too had infertility issues and no insurance. At 40 decided to dump the idea of ever being pg. last wednesday, had a total radical hysterectomy due to severe endometriosis. i did adopt 3 siblings and although i still crave to hold a bio child, i am very blessed. My advice is to keep going forward fighthing this-have no regrets, you will know when its time to stop.

[Tiffykins 672]

DeeDee, I think my heart just broke for you.

You and I both share the same desire to conceive, and deliver a healthy baby. I will continue to pray for you, and while it may not be a lot, know that you are not alone in your grief right now.

I can only hope that the tests give you good news, and that there is some light at the end of the tunnel.

Please keep me posted. You have my email if you need to chat.

I'm always here for you. ALWAYS.

[Bob_350lbs 105]

cover all your bases dee dee, go thru with trying to open the tubes, get a job in your state and start IVF, and also foster a child, an infant, to keep you company while you are going through this. don't make the mistakes I did, my tubes were blocked, couldn't unblock them, and didn't follow thru with foster child or ivf - money reasons..looking back I would have fostered a child and proceeded with IVF with/$ from foster care system. KEEP GOING..YOU WOULD BE A GREAT MOM!!!

[deedee 5]

Thanks again for all of your replies. I attempted to have the two tests done today (hysterosonogram and hsg). The first was at the fertility clinic and after 25 (VERY PAINFUL) minutes of trying to get into my cervix, the doctor finally said we'd have to try another day. I had to go to the imaging center for my hsg, and I explained what had happened earlier that day and they were surprised he sent me over. When the woman looked in, she commented on the blood, which I warned her about, and how beat up I looked in there. Suffice it to say, she had no luck performing her test either:-( I will go back to the fertility center tomorrow so they can have another crack at it and this time it will be with my RE so hopefully we can discuss next steps if it doesn't work. A friend of mine had to have surgery to clear away scar tissue so the hsg could be done...I'll just have to wait and see.

I was a little upset right after the first test didn't work, but now I'm just mad! I just wish my body would cooperate for some aspect of this, but I'm not giving up.

[Papillon 7]

I know that you would like to have a biological child but there are sooooo many many many children that need a loving home. If you are not able to have a child maybe you can consider opening your home to one of these children. *hug*

[deedee 5]

I know that you would like to have a biological child but there are sooooo many many many children that need a loving home. If you are not able to have a child maybe you can consider opening your home to one of these children. *hug*

Thanks for the hug:-) We are actually looking into adoption as well and it's looking more and more like we'll pursue it much further. I'm just trying to keep all doors and windows open and figure out what is going on with my body.

[i1Linda 15]

Oh Dee Dee my heart is breaking for you. :001_tt2: I know that motherhood was one of your primary goals for your WL journey. I am so sorry you and your dear husband are struggling with this. I know God has a plan for you, just see it thru and see where He leads you. Sending lots of HUGS and PRAYERS.

[deedee 5]

Just wanted to update everyone a bit. I haven't been on much at all, but my husband and I decided that domestic adoption is the way we are going to try to build our family. We are currently working through all of the home study paperwork and hopefully we'll get through it all within the next month or so.

I want to thank everyone for your kind words, I really don't know how to express how much your thoughts and advice meant to me when posting this.

The VSG has absolutely been one of the best things I've ever done for myself, and I know I will be so grateful to have the weight off when my dreams of motherhood finally come true.

Good luck to everyone!

[Garyb_58 1]

Deedee,

After reading your post, I too am sorry for what you and your husband are going through. That being said I cannot tell you how great it is to read that you guys are going to give a child with no parents, two loving parents. I spent 16 years in law enforcement and have seen to many times the results of parents who don't care what happens to their children. I understand that this is not the only reason people put children up, but it is one of them. It is great there are people like you and your husband that really want children there to give kids a chance.

My thoughts and prayers are with you both.

[Lisalu 89]

Deedee,

congratulations on your decision. I hope process goes quickly and smoothly. Make sure you tell us when your little one arrives, so we can give you a cyber baby shower (whatever that looks like).