Friends no longer as supportive

[Lynn B 0]

Hi - is anyone else going from a band to sleeve revision finding that those who were supportive of the band now seem a little less so? I've told most people that my band may have to come out but I've told a select few that when/if they take out my band I'm having a sleeve done.

The overwhelming response - "you don't need to do that, you know how to eat now" - what? I gained 29 lbs last year with a band (almost all of it is gone now but still) without a tool I know what my future will bring. Its kind of got me feeling...I don't know, guilty, bad, ashamed.

No one has said that the band dilation is my fault but, well really, it didn't dilate by itself. From my research a combination of being to tight, eating to much, to fast and larger bites are what cause/contribute to dilation. So ya, my fault - although I never threw up or felt pain - why would the sleeve be any different? Will I destroy my stomach after most of its gone and really be up the creek? :thumbup:

I'm confused now - I don't feel safe with the band, I don't want more problems and I'm not feeling deserving of another procedure....waaa:crying:

[stoongal 10]

People just need more education on this procedure, they will be supportive afterwards when they see how well you are doing with it. Unlike the band we can eat anything we want, if we leave out excess carbs, we lose - leave some in and we maintain, easy peasy. You will love the freedom of it once you tummy is healed. At 8 months out now am down over 63 lbs and loving life again, everyone now seems supportive as I educate them as I go...

Time will do it my dear,

Cheers,

Donna

[deletedsally 8]

I think most people have heard horror stories about people who have had serious problems with RNY and they assume that VSG will be similar. Many of my friends and family members were supportive of me, but not necessarily supportive of the surgery, because they were afraid I would have serious complications and come to regret the surgery.

Then there are those people who have never had significant weight problems, who think that those of us who struggle with obesity are either uneducated about nutrition ("don't know how to eat"), or gluttonous, or lazy, or totally lacking in self-discipline. I can't tell you how many times I have heard, "Well I just ___________" (blah, blah, blah)

Yeh...well I've heard all their self-assumed dieting expertise. It makes me want to barf. Come on...why does being at a normal weight give a sister who eats Lucky Charms for Breakfast and a big bag of M&M's every day for lunch the idea that she is entitled to give me dieting advice??? (I kid you not on that one.)

As someone who has lost well over 500 pounds over the span of 30 years, I think that I know a little bit about how to diet. I also know that diets have had a horrible effect on my metabolism, fat storage hormones, and appetite regulating hormones--and actually sabotaged every reasonable effort that I have made to maintain any weight loss.

I refuse to honor people's uninformed, presumptuous opinions about anything related to my weight or weight loss decisions. I've been valiently fighting a battle with obesity my entire life, and I think that this surgery is the best option that I have to improve the quality of the remaining years of my life. I don't expect anyone who hasn't fought the same battle to comprehend why I would voluntarily allow a surgeon to remove 80% of my stomach...how could they even begin to understand?

You deserve whatever it takes to be healthy and have a better quality of life! Would anyone dream of telling someone with breast cancer not to have a mastectomy if they had previously elected to have a lumpectomy, but were still having problems? Hardly. Don't let other people make you feel guilty or ashamed. Do your research and trust yourself to make the best decision for you!

[SouthernSleever 236]

I refuse to honor people's uninformed, presumptuous opinions about anything related to my weight or weight loss decisions. I've been valiently fighting a battle with obesity my entire life, and I think that this surgery is the best option that I have to improve the quality of the remaining years of my life. I don't expect anyone who hasn't fought the same battle to comprehend why I would voluntarily allow a surgeon to remove 80% of my stomach...how could they even begin to understand?

I need to print this out and put it on a little card for myself and others. :001_cool:

[Lynn B 0]

Thank you Katt - You're right, just because my first option didn't turn out all for the best I shouldn't stop looking for a solution. Thank You!!

[Lucy 0]

Think of yourself and your well being. If others are not capable of understanding ,then you don't need to share it with them.. The forum can be your support line. You deserve to be healthy and happy. This is one time when it should be an "all about me" .Good luck! Oops almost forgot. A positive attitude on your part is all you need to succeed. You may have to avoid some people for awhile. At some point, they will get it and be happy for you.

Edited May 30, 2010 by Lucy

[breezy 8]

Hi Lynn B!

When my friend and I were doing research about the band, we found that 24% of the people who got one had it removed within the 1st three years! I emailed my doctor and he said he recommended the sleeve over the band. Then, when I got to the hospital, I met two ladies who had their band removed and were sleeved. I think there are many people of this forum who have done it.

Don't give up on yourself. You've learned a lot from your experience with the band. Your health and happiness is worth more than nice cars, fancy vacations, or renovations on your home! Don't sell yourself short! You ARE worth it.

[Lynn B 0]

Thank you everyone - I've been extremely depressed this past week and your kind words and very wise thoughts are helping a lot!!

I'm going to see what the insurance company and my surgeon say but I'm am hoping to be sleeved by the end of the summer - thank you all so very much. :svengo: