Okay, its starting to happen. I am less than a week out. I am uber obsessed with food. I get that initially my body won't let me eat, but how am I gonna do this. I have SUCH A SICK relationship with food. Is this really gonna work? Am I wasting my time and my money? Am I taking too much of a risk? Do you know how humiliating and heartbreaking it would be if I did all this and then failed? I'm getting scared. Please be honest. How hard is this? Did you grieve? What do I do?

I remember my first week or two feeling a great remorse for never being able to eat my favorite foods again. But I can tell you that the way you feel now versus the way you'll feel a month from now is so different. The mushie stage seemed to last forever and when I could finally eat anything I wanted, I tried some of the things I had missed but it didn't feel as good as I remembered before surgery. You suddenly feel like you're in control of the food now because those cravings go away. It's a little empowering actually.

Right now you're swollen, a little exhausted, hormones are making you depressed a little and you don't feel good. Just give it time, really. You are going to feel so much better soon and you won't remember how bad it was. You did the right thing for yourself. It's our little secret weapon and we are lucky to have it. Good luck on your recovery.

Okay, its starting to happen. I am less than a week out. I am uber obsessed with food. I get that initially my body won't let me eat, but how am I gonna do this. I have SUCH A SICK relationship with food. Is this really gonna work? Am I wasting my time and my money? Am I taking too much of a risk? Do you know how humiliating and heartbreaking it would be if I did all this and then failed? I'm getting scared. Please be honest. How hard is this? Did you grieve? What do I do?

You CAN and WILL do this. Your stomach will not let you eat too much at one sitting. I used to be a MAJOR volume eater & this tool is like a miracle. One or two bites of my "craving" and I am satisfied. I didn't believe it before surgery & was sure I was going to be the one that this failed for. Well, guess what? It really does work!!!!!

Just follow your plan. If you have questions or concerns, talk to your doctor first & always come out here for support!

I'm still preop. I'm just having some fears about MY ability to succeed.

Oh when you said you were "one week out" I thought you meant out of surgery. For most of my life I've had a LOVE/HATE relationship with food. I have lost 70lbs total and it's now 6 months since my surgery. It was an abrupt change, and my feelings were hurt. I was not used to dealing with my life without the freedom to eat alot of whatever I wanted. Many people here felt the restriction as a new freedom from food. I felt as if I were being punished and starved to death! The weight steadily dropped but I didn't care and was miserable without being able to crave and devour. Okay so I needed help and went out for it. I'm here and I'm now in OA (over-eaters anonymous) and have a sponsor. I'm sort of doing it backwards, since the weight just fell off, I'm left like a turtle without it's shell. I'm only now looking at my life and learning how I let food put a barrier between myself, reality and possibility. Food was my drug...and like any addict, my personal growth and potential was stunted due to stuffing and gorging. I no longer hate that I was "sleeved". Instead, I am grateful because it has compelled me to find other means to deal with my my self and my feelings. This is not easy for me but being over weight and lugging my heavy body around was not easy either. I still am able to know and feel the pleasure that food provides but the option to eat myself into oblivion is no longer possible. It's not really all that bad, it's better this way. Hope that helps.

Lan,

I loved your answer, and I am so glad to hear you are feeling better and more positive about your surgery. I see such a change in you since I started on this board. Congratulations to you:thumbup:

Diane

Hang in there! You are two days behind me...WE can get through this. We WILL get through this. You might consider listening/reading to The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne...it really changed my life. This is a good decision for me and my future..my husband, children, extended family and future (much) grandchilren. I buried my Dad at 46 years of age and I will do everything in my power to stay around for my kiddos. Keep your chin up!

This will work if you truly want it to work. But, you are the only one that can get your head in the right place. Nothing any of us tell you can make you believe it. I felt the same way especially since I had the band. I was just so hellbent on succeeding, getting healthy, and truly living that I pretty much convinced myself that I was gonna WIN and WIN BIG. It will not be a waste of your time or money if you don't allow it to be a waste. I think everyone goes through some sort of grieving. food is a comfort for a lot of us, but the best advice I can give you is to find another coping mechanism to deal with your emotions.

For many years, I self-medicated with men and booze. Yeppers, I definitely didn't just use food. Anything that could numb the pain would worked. A few years ago I learned that it was better to hurt and then heal than it was to feel nothing at all.

I didn't find life with the sleeve that difficult to be honest. Even with all of my complications, and speed bumps early on, I would do it again in a heartbeat. I had to remind myself that the little struggles were heavily outweighed by the huge victories.

I saw this on OH, and thought I would share it here. It's an excerpt about compulsive eating, and our relationship with food.

In this month's O Magazine there is an article about the book "Women, Food, and God." I am not religious, and in fact the author didn't even mention God in the excerpt they published in the article, but i found the excerpt very eye-opening and I thought maybe some of you may think so too. I have dealt with compulsive eating for many many years, and certain parts of this article hit straight to my heart. I will definitely check this book out.

Anyway, here are a couple bits from the excerpt:

"The bottom line, whether you weigh 340 lbs or 150 lbs, is that when you eat when you are not hungry, you are using food as a drug, grappling with boredom or illness or loss or grief or emptiness or loneliness or rejection. Food is only the middleman, the means to the end. Of altering your emotions. Of making you numb. Of creating a secondary problem when the original problem becomes too uncomfortable. The means to this end could be food, but it could also be alcohol, work, sex, cocaine, surfing the internet, talking on the phone.

For a variety of reasons we don't fully understand (genetics, temperament, environment), those of us who are compulsive eaters choose food. Not because of its taste. Not because of its texture or color. We want quantity, volume, bulk. We need it -a lot of it- to go unconscious. To wipe out what's going on. The unconsciousness is what's important, not the food.

Some people will say, 'But I just like the taste of food. In fact, I love the taste! Why can't it be that simple? I overeat because I like food."

But... when you like something, you pay attention to it. When you like or love something, you take time with it. You want to be present for every second of the rapture. But overeating does not lead to rapture: It leads to burping and farting and being so sick that you can't think of anything but how full you are. That's not love; that's suffering.

You will stop turning to food when you start understanding in your body, not just your mind, that there is something better than turning to food. And this time, when you lose weight, you will keep it off. Truth, not force, does the work of ending compulsive eating.

Diets are the result of the belief that you have to atone for being yourself to be worthy of existing. Until the belief is understood and questioned, no amount of weight loss will touch the part of you that is convinced it is damaged. It will makes sense to you that hatred leads to loves and that torture leads to peace because you will be operating on the conviction that you must starve or deprive or punish the badness out of you. You won't keep extra weight off, because being at your natural weight does not match your convictions about the way life unfolds. But once the belief and subsequent decisions are questioned, diets and being uncomfortable in your body lose their seductive allure. Only kindness makes sense. Anything else is excruciating. You are not a mistake. You are not a problem to be solved.

The Sufi poet Rumi, writing about birds learning to fly, wrote: "How do they learn it? They fall, and falling, they're given wings"

If you wait to respect yourself until you are at the weight you imagine you need to be to respect yourself, you will never respect yourself. To be given wings, you've got to be willing to believe you were put on this Earth for more than your endless attempts to lose the same 30 ponds 300 times for 80 years. And that goodness and loveliness are possible, even in something as mundane as what you put in your mouth for Breakfast."

Okay, its starting to happen. I am less than a week out. I am uber obsessed with food. I get that initially my body won't let me eat, but how am I gonna do this. I have SUCH A SICK relationship with food. Is this really gonna work? Am I wasting my time and my money? Am I taking too much of a risk? Do you know how humiliating and heartbreaking it would be if I did all this and then failed? I'm getting scared. Please be honest. How hard is this? Did you grieve? What do I do?

Wannalise, you will do fine. The only way I can describe it to you is that for me personally, the "wanna eat all the time constantly" switch was turned off when I had this surgery. I'm sure that has to do with the removal of the Grehlin. I honestly don't look at food the same way. It's as if the switch was part of my brain fuction (and maybe it is) and I no longer feel like I want to or have to eat tons of food to feel satisified. I'll be honest with you, the first weeks are a bit rough. Not pain wise for me, but just adjusting and trying to figure everything out, but I'm two months out...and I honestly forget that I was sleeved. This is just the new me....I don't miss eating tons of food at all. It feels so good to just eat because it's fuel and not because that's all I can think about constantly. I honestly feel like this is what normal people feel like. It very hard to explain to someone, you pretty much have to experience it. Best wishes to you as I know you will do fantastic. :lol0:

I couldn't agree more. There are days when I eat all day long, but it's healthy stuff like almonds or cheese. There are other days when I don't think about eating at all. I finally remember that I need to eat some Protein so I do.

Not having the ghrelin makes all the difference in the world!

Okay, its starting to happen. I am less than a week out. I am uber obsessed with food. I get that initially my body won't let me eat, but how am I gonna do this. I have SUCH A SICK relationship with food. Is this really gonna work? Am I wasting my time and my money? Am I taking too much of a risk? Do you know how humiliating and heartbreaking it would be if I did all this and then failed? I'm getting scared. Please be honest. How hard is this? Did you grieve? What do I do?

I'll be really honest with you, for me it's interesting. . . in the beginning i hated this stupid sleeve. . . i really did, then when i went for my 1 1/2 week doctor appt after the surgery and saw i lost 32 lbs i thought "huh, interesting". . . then after 7 weeks i lost 53 lbs all together, now at 11 weeks, i've lost 63 lbs. . .i don't like that when i want to go out to eat i have to request a carry out box right away cause i know i'll only eat about 5 bites of the food. . .i know that i can't go to a buffet anymore, that it would be a major waste of money. . .who after all wants to spend $10 for a buffet and all you can really have is 1/2 piece of meat loaf or a bowl of Soup???? I really hate that i have hunger pangs and eat something too fast and it gets stuck that you have "i need an ambulance" pain for about 20 - 30 minutes and have slimming for that same about of time. . . I don't like that i can't drink alcohol as i used to and that my taste for cokes, and coffee have changed and i really hate those beverages now. . . but all in all, would i do it again? yes i would, my hatred for my obesity is stronger than my dislike for this sleeve. . . the weight loss makes me happy, i feel healthier, i no longer snore, that means my apnea is gone, my heart rate is 45 - 48 bpm that means that my heart doesn't have to work so hard anymore . . cardiologist took away the nitroglycerin pills. . . my knees don't hurt so much anymore, i have more energy and can bend and pick up things . . i'll be able to see my daughter graduate from university, i'll see her get married, and have kids, i'll be able to see those kids grow up and maybe even attend their graduations too. . .so you see that weight loss is so much better. . . no i will never be able to eat normal again. . .so i have to get used to that idea, i have to be careful about what i eat cause i could eat "around" my surgery and gain weight, now that would be humiliating! I would love to eat some chocolate, or some chinese food, or fried chicken, but that would forfeit the purpose right? So i stick with my Protein foods, and the healthier stuff and sugar free stuff. . . god knows maybe i'll eventually get used to all this . . . after all old habits die hard, 48 years of over eating and stuff and being fat, fat, fat, and so sloppy looking, and literally rolling about, not being able to fit into plane seats, asking for extensions for the seatbelt, how sicking. . . so now it's time to change old ways, will take a while, but one day i'll overcome and then I'll be thin one day!!! good luck with your decisions.

Edited March 20, 201016 yr by thinoneday

If you are having pain and sliming, you are taking too big of bites and not chewing your food well enough.

When you take very small bites and chew really well, you can eat more, much more than 5 bites, and not slime. We will never be able to eat the portions that we did before surgery, but that is why we had this surgery.

ThinOneDay...

Thank you for your honesty.....I'm still awaiting approval from my insurance, and still in the anxious and planning state. I loved what you said, and if you don't mind...I would like to copy and paste it to a word document to keep for my future days of 'wondering if I can get thru this'.:thumbup:

I know I've never met any of you, and probably never will, but I can't tell you just what a place you've made in my heart all ready. To know that people have done this, to know that people understand my hurts, my anxieties, and my failures. And to know that some of you have made it to the other side, and that some of you work your way every day to get there, I just want to say, thank you, thank you, thank you!

that's what we're here for :-)

I like to thank you all as well. I'm having similar reservations about my abiity to change my habits, but reading your experiences is helping to put me at ease. I am still waiting for insurance approval, but I'm starting to get excited about the possibilities.

One Question though. Pray tell, what is sliming? (Or do I really want to know?)