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Scared of being Skinny



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I think your personality will be the same unless you allow yourself to become different.

Gingin33, It's funny you say this. just this morning, my roommate (who recently had lapband surgery) told me that I am the type of person that would drop all the weight look fantastic and then forget where i came from. while i feel in my heart that I am not that type of person, just hearing someone think of me like that is disheartning.

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Gingin33, It's funny you say this. just this morning, my roommate (who recently had lapband surgery) told me that I am the type of person that would drop all the weight look fantastic and then forget where i came from. while i feel in my heart that I am not that type of person, just hearing someone think of me like that is disheartning.

Most of my BBW friends said the same thing. I found out it was it was quite the opposite. They are the ones who don't care about me anymore. I'm not invited to social functions with them, nor do any of them ever want to talk about anything other than all the food I can't eat.

I'll never forget "where I came from" or "how I got there", but I know for a fact I won't ever go back.

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My biggest fear of getting thinner is all the saggy skin. I'm financially broke and can't even consider plastic surgery to pull things up where they used to be. I know that the last time I lost 70# that the saggy flappy skin made me feel ugly unless I was dressed. I looked great in clothes...but depressing naked. I'm really going to have to work on natural remedies to get that skin to tighten

I'll be 50 when my weight loss is complete and I'm not sure my skin will "snap back" like it would have when I was 33....so take advantage of your youthful skin's natural elasticity. Exercise to tone the muscle, stay well hydrated and moisturize daily to help the skin recover.

And then.......just go out and be drop-dead-gorgeous!

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Unfortunately, all the exercise in the world isn't going to tighten loose skin. It will build muscle, but not tighten the saggy skin. Instead, you will probably need to accept that the new you includes saggy skin - but it's much healthier than the excess weight. I know this because I'm right there with you. That's why I was so adamant that I not go below 150. I know from past experience that everything including my calves, sag horribly at less that 150. I will still have excess skin that I need to deal with, but it can be hidden by clothes. I won't be getting plastic surgery either, so I will have to count on my clothes to cover up. I can give up wearing shorts with my saggy thigh skin, but I want to at least be able to wear capris, and under 150 I can't even do that. I understand how hard this is. The one area on me that can never be hidden is my neck. It sags already and I still have 25 pounds to go.

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Good questions and concerns....

If being overweight you had confidience..... it will double being thin!

I have a lot of self confidence now, so I don't think that will change. Maybe I'm in denial?!

I was always overweight as a child and had a brief period of being thin in my 20's, after childbirth I started gaining weight.... I was not overweight until after high school.

I still tried to project confidience.....

But now that I'm older.......and now "thinner" my confidience is sooo good. Maybe projecting confidence is what I do now, but I don't think so. I have no problem getting up and speaking in front of a crowd...

I too didn't lose weight to be sexy- but wanted to be "healthy" especially since I am older now..... but let me tell you...... the "sexy" is good! I hope my DH thinks I'm sexy after weight loss. Although he is wonderful that he NEVER has said a word to me about my weight.

I don't avoid social events or make up excuses- Me either

I don't avoid mirrors or getting my picture taken as I had in the past. I do avoid mirrors. I see that person and wonder who the he** is that fat woman?

When I was at my worst/heaviest........ my thoughts of myself were"altered"....... I didn't think I was as heavy a I was........ in total denial. I am that way. I completely don't think of myself as a morbidly obese person.. Maybe that is why I have self confidence....I'm most certainly in denial!

Now after losing 158 pounds, I have a more "realistic" view of myself. My confidiene is so much better,and cannot believe I was in the dark place I was before. I hope to look in the mirror so much more often, especially when I get to wear cute clothes.

You will change.......but you will still be "YOU"

You will still be pretty-just with more self confidience. I have wondered about what I will look like. Will I recognize myself in the mirror after weight loss, because I don't know that woman I see in the mirror now. But I do know that the mirror will reflect a much healthier person. Since I'm 58, I'll probably have a gobble wobble, but oh well...at least I won't have a massive butt.

But you also need to be aware of others and their insecurities. Some people cannot except change. Most of my friends are not overweight. I have one family member who may have a problem with it...a 72 year old aunt....but she may surprise me. She is SMO herself and to be honest, my decision to have WLS is because I see her and my mom struggle to ambulate and enjoy life and I don't want that!

Where I work....... all everyone has known is the "fat" me...Telling me not to get too thin, yadda yadda.....all meaning well,and everyone is sooo supportive with my WLS but because there is another woman that had an RNY-She lost alot of weight, but she also had a lot of other medical problems and they try to compare me to her.

( For me NOT to get like that ) I hear you, Chancie. I have a friend who had RNY. She has gained a lot of her weight back. I feel soooo badly for her. I hope it doesn't change our relationship if my weight loss is more successful. We were at a Christmas party last night and she ate way more than I did and I haven't had surgery yet.

You'll just have to pick your battles, and stay focused on who you really are, and people will just have to accept you and your weight loss. AMEN

I responded to Chancie's post because she had already addressed most everything I was going to say. Breekahouse- You are beautiful inside and out and you will continue to be so. Best of luck in your journey!

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I wear turtleneck tops and they hide a lot of the turkeyneck!

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I wear turtleneck tops and they hide a lot of the turkeyneck!

LOL....But a turtle neck might look kind of funny when it's 100 degrees outdoors!

mfln967l.jpg

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LOL....But a turtle neck might look kind of funny when it's 100 degrees outdoors!

mfln967l.jpg

Yep, can't do that in the summer down here. But right now we are having a cold snap and I'm covered up to my chin!

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Ya know what??

My biggest concern in the beginning was the "turkey neck" EVERYONE i have ever know to have weight loss surgery had this.

I Don't.......... but was totally surprised by my legs!

I never dreamed they would get as skinny as they are.... and look so bad! Like an elephants skin, yea... we pick ourselves apart...... but I can live with it all..... even the turkey neck, to just be "healthy"

And I'm still working on that...... emotionally as well as Physically.

I'm "picking" my battles too.

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      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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