No Support

[DownInSocal 12]

You guys are so awesome! Seriously!

I am going to weigh once every two days now. I can't stop completly or I am affraid I will gain weight and not make weight on my surgery date. But this twice a day is causing too much stress. It is also driving my husband crazy.

I also wish now that I had not old so many people but I am a huge blabber. At work I almost had no choice. I work at a smaller company and I am a huge part of the daily operations. I had a ton of appointments and everyone would have been worried and gossiping anyway as to why I was out so much. Now I guess they can just gossip for a different reason.

I think you are right Susan. Some have weight issues and probably need to have surgery or step up and do something. Many are skinny minis on the verge of having eating disorders. What a mess of people with issues it is.

Again thanks so much. You guys have no idea how much better I felt yesterday having non judgemental support.

[Ruthi 60]

I second that, people get jealous or theatened when someone shows progress. I think you were courageous to tell anyone. I strongly feel that people just discount any weight loss if it was a result of WLS, they dont have any idea of how much work is done on our part afterwards to actually be successful. They think we went with an easy fix. I for one didnt tell anyone. Just the people here and my doctors. I didnt even tell my family that live near by.

[cajun 46]

I am in the research phase, am GOING TO go to Mexico for this when I have satisfied myself that my choice of surgeon is the right one, and I am NOT GOING TO TELL ANYONE EXCEPT MY BEST FRIEND WHO WILL NOT TELL ANYONE ELSE. I will likely go alone unless my friend is able to accompany me. It seems wise to let one person know just in case anything would happen along the way.

Now, I am going to be a devil's advocate in this discussion. It seems possible to me that sometimes family and friends really do express their disapproval when a person tells them they are going to Mexico for this (or even that they are having it done in the States), just because they CARE about you, and are afraid for your safety. Of course they are not fully informed or they would not be so afraid for you. But I just don't believe that EVERYONE is jealous etc etc. A few may be, but I think most people are good and kind (in my circle of friends/family anyway) and I believe they would react negatively if I told them, just because they love me...all 280 pounds of me!

After I have the surgery and lose 130 lbs they are going to want to know how I did it and I'll tell them then. At that point I can say: "see, I did fine and am still here (at least half of me is still here)" so "Don't worry....be happy!!!" I know that I will be happy.

[ADNK 0]

I have told no one but

1) parents

2) husband

3) kids

4) pharmacist (checking on whether or not my meds are "crushable")

5) Pastor (who will not blab to the professional empathy-guts at church)

- YOU know the type, they *profess* to empathize - I don't really need the clucking.

I think I'm covered in RL. I am VERY glad to have this forum to unload in, as I must be the "stiff-upper-lip" around the house so as not to scare anyone unduly.:biggrin0:

[meowmeow 3]

I didn't tell a soul either, I knew the reactions wouldn't be positive! I've started to tell people I've been dieting for this wedding next week. Then, that will be my excuse, saying it went so well, I stayed on it. Sewing a little seed for now....hehehehe I KNOW for a FACT I will have some "friends" very angry when I get back down to the weight I was for many years. They liked it when there was no competition and they had something "over" me. Same thing happened when my Mom lost 140lbs, a couple of her heavy friends stopped calling. I guess it's like when you stop drinking and others continue to want to party. It's too bad. HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER!!!!

[DownInSocal 12]

Ahh yes. I got a lecture on Friday about "Are you sure you want to do this? They can't put that part of your stomach back in you know."

UHHH YEAH. I have a degree in Biology and Accounting. You could say I am an educated woman. I KNOW. Now stfu and go eat your sweets you eat every single day and whine about not losing weight. I mean seriously. How can you eat two rows of Oreos EVERYDAY and think you will lose weight and feel like you can lecture me about how I am already not eating enough in prep for the surgery and I will starve to death after surgery (they are being serious). Are you really going to lecture me about nutrition?????? Do you know my major in biology was nutrition???? I know you know because you have asked me a million times.

Ahh that felt great to get that out.

(clarification my major was the Science of Nutrition, not Clinical Nutrition. I can tell you how the body breaks the amino acid chains and why but obviously I can't follow a meal plan very well)

Edited August 24, 2009 by DownInSocal

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

I didn't tell anyone, other than my kids and

my friend that also has the sleeve.

[DownInSocal 12]

I didn't tell anyone, other than my kids and

my friend that also has the sleeve.

I think you did the right thing I really do. Oreo muncher has already been at me this morning. I came in crying because I am having a lot of anxiety. She was like "see I told you this is a sign it is not (munch munch) good for you to do to your body (munch munch)." I told her to hush. I didn't want to hear about it anymore. If she didn't hush I would write her up for gossiping. She has been quiet. :lol0:

[ADNK 0]

She was like "see I told you this is a sign it is not (munch munch) good for you to do to your body (munch munch)."

Lol! If she believes in "signs & portents" she sure isn't someone you need giving you advice anyway. It seems to me that very few people head into this surgery without becoming VERY WELL VERSED in what it is and isn't, and what it can and cannot do, and what the actual risks are (and aren't)

You probably shouldn't let her give you advice on the sotck market either :lol0:

[*susan* 1,709]

Heck, I wouldn't take advice from her on how to blow my nose!

[MacMadame 81]

I told her to hush. I didn't want to hear about it anymore. If she didn't hush I would write her up for gossiping.

Good for you!

What makes people think that telling them your plans is a license to critique said plans anyway? I don't get that.

[Lv2h8me 0]

Write her up for gossiping??? THAT'S AWESOME!!! Good for you. I am on my pre op plan, I still need my sleep Apnea study done, and to see the nutrionist, then I should get a date. And other than my husband, my kids, and 2 friends that have had the RNY...no one else will know!!! Keep your head up...You got this!!!

[Day Dreamer 23]

I am feeling totally and utterly alone today. I woke up crying.

It sucks. Litterly my only support is my husband this board.

SoCal, Did you ever join a bariatric support group?