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Cleaning fairies, support, and unburied bodies



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My hubby and I have been married for five years. Each anniversary leaves me surprised that that he is alive and breathing and that I have not yet buried him in the back garden. He has his faults. A short but not inclusive list:

He thinks the cleaning fairies come behind him and clean up and in order to keep them in work he continues to leave a mess in his wake.

He thinks that 5 minutes is enough notice to give me that he is bringing business colleagues home for dinner. (always on a night I plan to serve leftovers!)

He gives up his dog ownership rights when she rolls in something god awful in the park but forgets this when she is groomed and wants to play.

His idea of a romantic date today was going to the movies to see kickass 2 and then a couple of pints at our local pub

OK with all his faults I have to say he has really embraced my band and has become the best band buddy ever!!

Each week he weighs in with me despite the fact that he is at his ideal weight

He is by my side each Wednesday when I have my 'naked mirror moments' and holds me when it is a bit to much

He checks the calorie counts on everything when we go grocery shopping

He will not let me make excuses (pms or hormones as a reason to have chocolate)

He became a member of a lapband spouse forum so he could better understand the challenges ahead

He gave up the holiday that we had been saving for and instead agreed to use the money for my lapband surgery

He kicks my ass off the couch when I tell him I am to tired to exercise

He tells me the honest truth when I ask him if I look thinner even when I would rather he lie

I cant say that I would be doing near as well with my band alone without his support. I think that sometimes we get so absorbed with how we are handling the experience and how it impacts us that we forget to take the time to acknowledge and thank the people who support us and help make the journey possible.

So here is to my amazing hubby who creeps in the forum to read what is going on. I love you and thank you for the support.

PS the cleaning fairies have gone on strike. If you want clean underwear for work tomorrow I suggest you read the manual for the washer and dryer.

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lol cute and good point.

The band does effect more than just ourselves. I am fortunate that I have a husband who was banded the same day as myself. So we have been going through this journey together mutually supporting one another.

I think your hubby deserves 5 loads of wash for his generousity :)

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Cute! I am and have been cleaning fairy for 43 years. But, thankfully I have a supportive hubby, too! In fact, after my surgery, I was convinced that I could not drive for at least a week or two, so made him drive me everywhere! He still likes to do most of the driving. I am not sure that he knows how to even turn on the washer or dryer, but he does know how to pick up his underwear! Haha! Love your post and spouses that are supportive to our efforts! Karen

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I love this! It's so true though. My hubby is the same way. Sometimes I forget how supportive he is of my crazy journey and focus on the bad points. Thank you for the reminder!

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Awesome post!

My hubby is also great and supportive. He did not hesitate when I told him I wanted the LB and it cost 10 grand. He said fine and the money was transferred the next day.

He praises me on the fact that through self determination (not restriction) I stick to 1/2 cup (total) portions for all meals... absolutely no excuses!! (I am only 1 month post-op)

He applauds me for not making excuses and being very diligent on how & what I eat.

He has researched and agrees it is very important that I do not stretch out my pouch and will intercede on my behalf if someone tries to push more food my way.

He has kept my wls a secret, as I wish, because he knows I want this to be a private journey. (at least until I'm closer to goal)

He is supportive in only allowing healthy nutritious food to come into our home. (zero Snacks & nothing I cannot eat)

He encourages only weekly weigh-ins at the very most and will weigh in with me.

He compliments me on each new victory.

He is so supportive and keeps encouraging me to keep walking every day. (he believes exercise is the key along w/portion control & food choices)

He tells me that if I ever get bored with exercising at home or hit a plateau, that he will get me a gym membership & personal trainer.

His prize when I reach goal is to gift me with a Tummy Tuck & breast reduction/lift that I want very much.

He inspires me; encourages me to stay focused on me and my needs; he tells me to do this for me.... well in my book that is huge!

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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