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Has Anyone Experienced This?



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Today I was talking to a coworker about how I'm trying to lose weight. I did not tell her I'm getting lap band. (I'm scheduled for surgery on Dec. 4th) She was going on and on about how I'm just fine at the size I am and how I don't need to lose a single pound. I am 284 lbs at 5'7" BMI 45. I'm morbidly obese! I obviously need to lose weight! I don't understand why people do this. I have always been proportionate no matter what weight so maybe that's why. I just wish people would be supportive of my trying to get healthy!

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Totally understand don't let that change your mind on getting banded. 9 days post op

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Oh I'm with you girl! I've been told that many times- but honestly, it's from people who, in my opinion, are just being nice. I mean, who besides your truly close friends and family will honestly saw, on yeah you need to lose weight? None for me.

Don't let it deter you. Although her compliment was sweet, she does no know how much your weight is effecting you... This is something that you are doing for yourself. Don't let people's opinions steer you away from what you want. :) we're all here for you!

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People do this these days because the world has finally been taught it is important to love yourself and everyone no matter what you look like. And after decades of fat people being told they have to be skinny to be accepted, they now realise that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes and learning to accept all sizes. So I think your co-worker meant it in a different way than what you took it. You are fine no matter what size you are, if you love yourself.

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A better way to explain it is I'm sure most of you were called fat sometime in your life as an insult and it would have upset you. The world is now learning that they should accept people no matter what they look like, so they support fat people and tell them to be themselves and finally accept them :)

Basically, if you want to loose weight, that's fine, but if you don't, that's fine too :)

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Oh yes, I think we have all had that one. And then when your success is shining through, you will be told that you mustn't lose any more weight.

Just remember, you are doing this for yourself.

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Thanks for all the encouragement ladies. Nothing could stop me from wanting to get banded! And you're all right. She was just probably trying to be "politically correct" lol. I really appreciate this community and the support it offers. I hope you are all successful in your journeys!

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I actually had lots of friends say that but when they realized I've been battling weight for 25 years they said hey go for it. They don't realize it sounds discouraging.

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I had people say the same things to me. I started out 236, and im 5'2, BMI was 41 making me morbidly obese. I was banded on Oct. 19 of this year. I only told my immediate family, a few extended family, and my lose friends before hand and they were ALL vey supportive. Now when I mention it to people that I had lapband they are like "why, you dont need to lose that much." Or they say "thats a bit extreme dont you think caz you dont look like you need to lose weight." My answer at first in my head is "what have i done." But then I look down at myself and say nope i did the right thing, it HAD to be done, I need to be healthy.

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I will say this. I started out at 5ft 4in and 272 lbs. I have lost 50lbs now. I have come to realize to those people who told me I looked fine and didnt need to loose a pound I was the fat friend who made them feel better about themselves. After I started loosing weight they no longer have time for me.

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IT's better than saying, "about time you did something!" LOL.

I started at 284, too, but you're 4 inches taller - lucky!

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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