Need A Mentor To Help Get Me Back On Track

[mommymary81 4]

Hello all! My name is Mary and I am from Louisville, KY. I had the lap band surgery in January of 2009 at 318 lbs, after which I lost about 80 lbs before I became pregnant. My doctor removed the Fluid from my band during my pregnancy during which I gained almost all of my weight back. About a month or so after my delivery I had fluid placed back in my band and I lost about 30 lbs again before I ended up getting pregnant again. My doctor again removed the fluid from my band, and again, I gained all of my weight back. I had my daughter in December. I have had 2 fills in my band but still to this day I weight 316 lbs. I am having an extremely hard time getting myself back into the routine of following the lap band rules. I am drinking regular sodas, drinking while eating meals and directly after meals and I am also binge eating and out eating my band. My health has gotten a lot worse than it was even before I had the surgery and I need help trying to get myself back on track. Not only do I need to do this for myself but I also have my 4 kids and husband who depend on me and I am not the mother and wife that I need to be right now because of my weight and health. I really do need a mentor who can help me to try and get through this hump that I am in and get back on track. I am new to this forum so Im not sure exactly how this works but I will take any help, advice and/ or feedback that I can get that will help me to move in the right direction to get myself successfully back on my weight loss journey. Thanks so much for reading!!

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,722]

gonna be tough---dont hate me....but was in your shoes not long ago:

ok. you messed up. so what....you gained back what you lost. ok. so what...

shall i take your head now or later??

what is done is done. we cannot go back in time to what was. what you have is today. right now.

you also acknowledge drinking soda, eating/binging and all the things you know is what made you

and i gain weight in the first place. SO STOP IT-- RIGHT NOW.

just because you can overeat, and eat junk food and eat around the band

does not mean you should. did you go through all the pre ops and post ops and liquid diets just to say WTheck?? no i dont think so.

right now is a new day. a new start.

3 meals a day and a couple healthy Snacks.

get rid of the junk (high fat/salty/processed foods).

get rid of the sodas.

buy fresh fruit/veggies and lean Protein.

NO EXCUSES by saying i got kids and they need treats.....

you know what to do to lose weight

you also know what to do to gain weight.

you either make up your mind to do something about it or you stay where you are.

when is the last time you seen your surgeon/lap band doctor?

if you want help, this forum saved me and still saves me to this day. i am a newbie bander.

but i know if i want to succeed, i have to do it.

you can do this. Yes you can. dont say you cant or its too hard.

no more excuses. just get on with it. life is too short to ponder what was.

if you need me to email you/text/call you every hour, i will.

i am here for you.

but please know you have to be there for yourself first.

you are in my thoughts.

[LBSept09 33]

Hey, I was banded in 09, and am a very slow loser. I lost 40 pounds over six months, then maintained for a year or more. Then in the last year gained 30 back.

A few weeks back I came in here to get help. I am doing awesome!! Better then when first banded.

I read the threads until I thought my eyes would bleed...lol but you can learn so much about what works best and new food ideas.

Best of luck, you lost 80 pounds, do you know you can do it!!!!!

[Short and Chunky 230]

So sorry you are having such a hard time. You have at least acknowledged that you are strugling and that you are doing all the wrong things. That is a step in the right direction..Now, you and only you have to make up your mind that you are going to loose this weight. The prenancies did not help matters but you can work through this and get back on track. You made the decision to loose weight and have this band installed some time ago- now it is time to get serious. Good luck and we will be looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Melinda in Florida

[2muchfun 8,928]

Bite the bullet and spend a nickel on a nutritionist. Preferably one from your surgeons list of nutritionists. Be prepared to be brutally honest about your eating habits. Honestly, all we can do here is give you attagirls but a dietician/nutritionist who understands bariatric surgery patients can offer so much more insight and knowledge if you've fallen off the bandwagon.

Locally here we have support groups mentored by a very good nutritionist and you could get your feet wet if you tried finding a local support group near you. Then take the plunge and go one on one. You will gain so much more if you're serious about losing weight.

tmf

[mommymary81 4]

I really do need to talk with my surgeon about this and see if he can refer me to a nutritionist. I have also been considering trying to re- train my mind (so to speak) by starting all over again just like I had never had the band by forcing myself to do the pre and post op preps and liquid diets again. I know I can do it and I am going to do it, but I wake up every day with another excuse and I am so embarrassed because I keep doing this to myself. I would like to start going to my surgeons supports group, and I have even considered joining Overeaters Anonymous, but with 4 kids and a full time job I just wouldn't have the time. Carolinagirl, I really think your response has hit the hardest. I need to get over myself and these excuses and start doing what I know is right. I see that you have now lost 50 lbs, congratulations! I remember that milestone and how good it felt, not to mention the extra energy I had to have that much weight off. I want to be there again so bad. I am very determined that starting right now that I will eat only 3 meals a day and only until I am full. I will not drink anything during my meals, and I will wait at least an hour after I eat before I do drink anything. When I do drink I am going to drink ALOT more Water and stay away completely from the regular sodas. I can do this!! I've done it before and I can do it again but better this time. I am actually going to hit my goal this time and stay there!!

[LBSept09 33]

I am just a few weeks in front of you, but did the same thing.

I have more excuses then anyone could dream up on why I needed to wait and eat correctly tomorrow.

Finally, I come in here, yay!!! I stopped eating mid day on a Friday even. I started right back at my preop diet and following every rule to the exact.

I am doing much much better this time around. Not allowing my mind games to control, nor the food!!! I spend lots of time in here when I want to eat.

Soo, good luck. You can do this!!!!! Have fun, and enjoy the challenge.

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,722]

I really do need to talk with my surgeon about this and see if he can refer me to a nutritionist. I have also been considering trying to re- train my mind (so to speak) by starting all over again just like I had never had the band by forcing myself to do the pre and post op preps and liquid diets again. I know I can do it and I am going to do it, but I wake up every day with another excuse and I am so embarrassed because I keep doing this to myself. I would like to start going to my surgeons supports group, and I have even considered joining Overeaters Anonymous, but with 4 kids and a full time job I just wouldn't have the time. Carolinagirl, I really think your response has hit the hardest. I need to get over myself and these excuses and start doing what I know is right. I see that you have now lost 50 lbs, congratulations! I remember that milestone and how good it felt, not to mention the extra energy I had to have that much weight off. I want to be there again so bad. I am very determined that starting right now that I will eat only 3 meals a day and only until I am full. I will not drink anything during my meals, and I will wait at least an hour after I eat before I do drink anything. When I do drink I am going to drink ALOT more Water and stay away completely from the regular sodas. I can do this!! I've done it before and I can do it again but better this time. I am actually going to hit my goal this time and stay there!!

with that type of attitude missy, you can accomplish anything. :wub:

just begin is all. if you dont do well on one meal or one day, do better the next. beating yourself into a pulp wont help. we cant bring back yesterday so do it today.

[jrae 38]

Everyone is so supportive here!!! I love it! This site has helped me so much. I just wish I would've known about it when I was banded 3 years ago. It's been a struggle for me too- lost 40 but gained back 20. So it's great to hear people cheering each other. I too loved what carolinagirl said. Thank you guys!

[mommymary81 4]

So far not so good. I did great Tuesday up until the time my husband ordered pizza and a 2 liter of Mt Dew. I really need to go see my surgeon but I've canceled my last 2 appointments because I'm so embarrassed. I guess I need to take my big girl pill and make an appointment and actually keep it. I really do want this so bad but I can't motivate myself and stop making excuses. I'm calling to make an appointment 1st thing when they open for 1st available. I think I'm not gonna have no choice but to start completely over and do the excruciating pre and post Op diets in order to get myself back on track. I'll keep you updated and thanks so much for the support! I really do need it

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,722]

So far not so good. I did great Tuesday up until the time my husband ordered pizza and a 2 liter of Mt Dew. I really need to go see my surgeon but I've canceled my last 2 appointments because I'm so embarrassed. I guess I need to take my big girl pill and make an appointment and actually keep it. I really do want this so bad but I can't motivate myself and stop making excuses. I'm calling to make an appointment 1st thing when they open for 1st available. I think I'm not gonna have no choice but to start completely over and do the excruciating pre and post Op diets in order to get myself back on track. I'll keep you updated and thanks so much for the support! I really do need it

sounds to me like head hunger arrived to visit you. he ordered pizza and had soda (and your head said go on, eat it). been there done that... first off get the (diet thing out your head). you need to eat to lose weight the exact same way you gained it. you will change what you eat how the band says how much (but its up to you to use Portion Control. just because that pizza is there, did you have to eat it? one piece is fine but did you stop after one piece?? or eat that piece and say the heck with it and eat the whole thing....heck that is what i use to do. so yeah, i know exactly what you are dealing with. i did not get up to almost 350 by eating lettuce.

(you said you want this bad enough but cant motivate yourself enough to stop making excuses)..unless you decide to do something about it, nothing will change.

you got to make that choice.

[meyouus 415]

One thing that will help tremendously is to tell your husband to not bring such trigger food into the house, at least during your struggling phase. You have a young fanily that needs to eat as well, but you don;t need to fall off the wagon every time there's bad food around. If the family eats a meal that you should not eat, then be prepared to make yourself an appropriate alternative meal for yourself. There are alot of Mom's and Dad;s on here that have to do this. You can do it too!

My husband and I recently went to a friends house for dinner. This family eats nothing but junk food and everything that is not on my particular diet, so I brought my own food so I wouldn't make the massive mistake of choosing to eat their junk food. They were very accomodating and understood.

You just have to surround yourself with cupboards, refridgerators and freezers full of all the yummy stuff you CAN have! Be prepared for such a food "attack". You can do it, you did it before.

I wish you the best... and take carolinagirl's advise!

[LBSept09 33]

That is exactly right. Start your liquid diet. After a couple of days it will get easier I promise. It was for me any ways. Then I called my doc on Monday and asked for a rush about before I had a chance to change my mind. I was so ashamed that I put this off for a year. Ugh!!!

They were so happy I came in. they will know you are beating yourself up over this. Time to stop using that excuse and get into the right track!!!!!!

Good luck, I think today is the day...

[meyouus 415]

LBSept09 is right.

I was ashamed after FIVE years of not dieting at all! But I sucked it up, went in and they were SO happy to see me. Now I am back on track and going strong!

[Jean McMillan 2,973]

You've gotten some very helpful responses to this thread. I just want to add one thing...congrats on the 2 post-band babies, but you need to find some birth control that works, at least until you get your weight and your eating problems under control. Just sayin....