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What was your turning point?



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I just gave up and said ok this is me I'm fine I was at 268 for yrs and content with that. I never considered WLS thought it was the "easy" way out. I only new of the RNY and I new people who died from that.

Then my HS GF told me her brother had the band go give him a call. It was a seed. I never looked into it further until I took a Beth Moore Bible Study last January. Thats when I realized the hold that food had on my life. The day I called my GF's brother I knew would be my no turning back day. So from August 04-April 05 I held his phone # in my wallet not ready to call. After God confirmed to me that this was his will for me I picked up the phone and called her brother. 5 months later I was banded. I'm so glad I did it!! Yesterday I went shopping and fit into Xlg and Lg sizes WOW WEEEEEE !!!! God is AWESOME!

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I realized I was finally ready to get serious August 18 2005. I have tried sooo many diets lol Dr Abkin had to laugh at my 1st visit.I was not always FAT but always had bad eating habits.Anyway I was leaning toward the bypass until on futher research I discovered banding.August 18,2005 my mother was killed in a car crash on her way home from church(not really so bad since it was her favorite place to be :) )My mom was a big lady in everyway(size, heart and spirit).They told me at the hospital that because of her size they had to work longer and harder to cut her from the car:cry Knowing how I felt/feel I decided to try to spare my children the thoughts I have, and to become as healthy as I can to be here for my entire family.Sorry took me so long to get to the point.

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WOW..it is amazing to read all of these post..thanks for everyone that imputed. It is so crazy how I fit into every mold that you all presented. Good luck to all, and keep em coming!

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Many things have set this off, besides the obvious, better sex, :biggrin1: my husband finding me physically attractive again. (yes, love is many things, but it can't make you physically attracted to someone, and sex at that point becomes somewhat humdrum and well, for one thing only and that is for, well, you know what.) And then there is being 35, and not being able to go into a store to buy clothing that fits my age. Most department stores carry large sizes now, but for women who are 55+, not 35. I realize there are some styles that would not convert well to a size 20 or more, but come on, not all women who are large want to dress like grandma, KWIM? No offense to those of you who maybe close to that age, you were once 35 and I am sure didn't want to dress like a 55 year old. I also miss the days when I bought my close at the Gap. They don't carry anything larger than a 16 in the store and that is hard to find even. I shop at Old Navy alot now, but even there the styles are limited. And another reason is my dd. She is built like my dh, very slender. She has made comments about me not being able to "play" with them outside like daddy does. I want to play outside like daddy does! I would also like to start being in pictures again! I have to say I am very photogentic, when I am thin! :D In the past 9 years there has been a HUGE decline in mommy being in pictures. Tons of daddy and kids, but mommy has been absent far too long. :cry WIth the weight came great inhabitions. I have always been somewhat introverted, but now, I am just plain pitiful. Being a military wife we move often and have to 'start over' wiht new friends etc everytime. I think I have missed great opportunities for friendship becasue I feel so yucky about myself I don't think anyone can see past my weight. :) So, I withdraw and don't nurture potential friendships. Hmm, is that it? Probably not, but those are the main points.

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Well.. This is a very complex question... I was overweight as a child, I remember hearing people tell my mom "she'll slim down as she gets taller", well the taller I got, the wider I got. I have always, always been big, and to be quiet honest, I don't think I'll ever be "Skinny", but my current weight is ridiculous! I was the fun fat girl in the big group of pretty, thin girls in high school who got along with everyone, but got ignored by the boys.. I've always been the happy- go-lucky girl, every girls friend and every guy's buddy, but inside I'm not happy. I look in the mirror or see photos of myself and think "Who is that?". Is this really me? I'm single, 34 and never really lived life... I mean I've travelled, have a great family (who I probably spend wayyyy to much time with), and wonderful friends who I don't spend enough time with, and a great job. I am a nuturer.. I put everyone else and their needs ahead of my own... I'm the go to girl.. AND I'M SICK OF IT!!! I just hope to have the willpower to put myself ahead of everyone else for at least a while. I'm tired of being alone.. I think I hide behind my weight, I don't put myself out there because I lack the self confidence that I think others have... I spend a lot of time looking down at the ground when I'm in public... In a nut shell, my whole life has been a turning point, I just never seem to make the turn.. I just exist from day to day being the "happy fat girl", waiting on something to change my world. I hope the band will be what I need to help me to make the turn... Sorry for the rambling...

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What an interesting thread...

For me, my (now) hubby FINALLY proposed after 5 years and I was getting married in 18 months. I went hardcore on a diet for 9 months and lost a whopping 10 pounds. The best part? I went in for an annual checkup and found out those 10 pounds had gotten me to...exactly the same weight I was at the previous year's checkup.

Shortly after that I went out for lunch and realized my portions were double those of my dining companions - and I was hungry again an hour later.

Then I read an excerpt of a study which said 95% of obese people will either not lose weight by dieting or will regain the weight within 3 years (I think it was 3 years....).

My feet and knees hurt, my asthma was getting worse, and although I didn't have major comorbidities at the time, I knew they were going to happen in the next decade if I didn't DO something.

It may have taken 3 surgeries to get me here, but I'm BANDED and couldn't be happier... :)

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My turing point was more of a gradual realization instead of just one thing. Over time I have noticed that I turn down social invitaions because of my weight. I am embarrassed for my husband to have to introduce me to people he knows because I figure they're wondering what he's doing with such a fat wife. Also, since I am a teacher I work on a campus with about 60 or 70 other women and I'm tired of being one of the heaviest. I have been telling myself that I am the same person fat or not but I'm not sure about that anymore. I'm hoping to get healthier and to gain more self-confidence as I get thinner.

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I've been thinking about this since I first saw the thread last night. I'm not sure there was a definite turning point. I just felt there was nowhere else to go but to the grave. I had given up on life, given up on me, given up on having any hope. I was obsessed with thoughts about dying from poor health and age. I was convinced I was really old now and I should just stop caring. And that I did.

I didn't leave my house. I didn't see my friends or even talk to them on the phone. I shut out the world that lived outside of our home. I submerged myself in the internet, living a life of fun times and adventure - in my head. My family was feeling hurt over the fact that I never followed through with any plans to be with them. I always backed out with the excuse of being sick. I had developed a hernia about midway between my belly button and breastplate, which I thought was stomach cancer or something. Only after a year of suffering with it did I finally break down and go to the doctor. She looked at me and asked how I was and I fell apart. She got me on Effexor and omg.. things started changing. The first day I actually felt happiness again, I cried - tears of joy.

I had heard about the lap band a year prior to this point. That was a glimmer of hope that lasted only a short time. I found out that our insurance wouldn't cover the $20,000+ operation, so there went that option. But as I was preparing to get the hernia surgery done, the lap band topic came up with my mother and wow.. she told me to get it done, she had the money. I walked forward in a daze, and within 6 weeks I was banded. The surgeon helped me get through the hoops quickly so he could repair the hernia at the same time.

And here I am. Still in a daze of sorts. Still trying to deal with this surreal idea of actually being 130 pounds again. I haven't been able to truly grasp that yet, so I just focus on today, and keep thanking God and my family for pulling me back into the world of the living.

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What a great thread.

Here's why. I need to be around for Sophie & be able to give her piggy-back rides, run after her in the park, go down the slide wth her, sit next to her on scary rides...the list could go on.

Somebody said to me the other day that I seem so much happier and confident. I really never thought I had a confidence problem, but you know, I would have to say, I think my friend was right.

Can't wait to see what the future holds.!

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If you're going to be inquisitive aka ... nosey, a snoop etc then be prepared to pay the price! lol

Why I decided to go ahead with surgery was this: 8 years ago I weighed 173 and I'm 5'7. I was in a car accident, messed up my pelvis and had to take it easy exercising for awhile.

I used that as an excuse then when I became pregnant the next year. I was on bed rest the WHOLE time so I used that as an excuse and after my youngest son was born...

When my youngest daughter was born the next year, my OB said I couldn't tell I was pregnant because you are so large (insert extreme mortification here):)

I STILL did not know what I weighed, I would turn around backwards and never look at the scale. This is the most I ever weighed was 255 at 9 months pregnant.After she was born, I exercised and lost some weight, went on Atkins and lost some more.

A year later, gained it all back and started having female problems that ended in surgery..

Long story short: I was at the Doctor's office about 3 months ago because I was still not feeling well and just HAD to look at my chart because I knew I had lost 17 pounds according to them..

That is the day I decided to do something - Being the nosey, ahem; inquisitive person I am, I peeked at my chart! I weighed 271 pounds and sat there in disbelief and cried.

I started doing the math after I left and said OMGosh I can't believe I weighed 288 pounds before. I could barely see to drive home and when my husband asked me what was wrong, I just said they gave me a shot.

A shot, a dose of reality is more like it. I had been having problems breathing, and not able to walk at the Zoo or around Disney like I used to - but now I know why.

On top of those symptoms, Ive had to delay my surgery so I can get my blood sugar and kidneys looked at - sugar and Proteins showed up on my urinalysis and the Dr thinks Type 2 Diabetes.

I started doing more research and decided now was the time. I'm doing this because I want to be healthy and live - not die in the middle of the night from sleep apnea...So I can be healthy again and live life not just let it go by...

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I went to Phoenix to visit my Dad in August of 2004 for 2 weeks. He'd lost 30lbs doing Southbeach. I went back in November and he'd gained it all back. I had flashbacks of me being a kid and seeing copies of the "Scarsdale diet" book on our kitchen table and him taking me to see the "new" nautilus equipment at our Tennis club. (era 1979)

I thought to myself, my Dad has been fighting his weight all MY life, he's now 60 years old and still losing the battle. He is one of the hardest working, most intelligent people I know. If HE can't win, how can I???

It took me another 7 months to go to the first Lapband information meeting, but I thought of this during the entire process.

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Turning 40 and see my future as even MORE overweight, and all that entails.

If I am going to live another 30-40 years, I'd like my life to be full.

Shawn

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I was tired of being the heaviest person and not having any energy. We were going on trips and I didn't enjoy it because I couldn't find clothes that I would be comfortable in. I also didn't like myself. At work I would hide in my office but now I have so much energy it feels so good. I love my band and would do it again in a heartbeat.

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well, I had given up, sleeep apnea and over 400lbs I thought well, ive been on a diet all my life and weigh more than 200lbs than when I started!! so I gave up, resigned myself to an early death and was in the supermarket, there was a tap on my shoulder and there was a friend of a friend whom, last time I saw her was 400lbs ish and there she was thin as a pole !! we went for a coffee and she told me she had had the band and I thought

Ill have some of that !!

and here I am

thank god I met that lady or I would be on the way to my grave now.

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I didn't really have an "A-HA" moment or an awakening of any kind. It was rather gradual.

I knew that I was obese. I dieted. I failed and gained weight back. I'd diet again once I got the courage up. At one point I even came to the conclusion that maybe I was destined to be obese and gave into it. This, by the way, only caued me to gain another 20-30lbs. After another of my diets where I had lost 30 or so lbs, my husband and I went on a cruise. I had all kinds of new outfits to wear and was feeling great. Problem was, sometime between the time I bought the outfits and the cruise, I must have gained some weight because they were tight and I felt bad. I was on the deck of the cruise ship reading "O" magazine. There was an article in there about WLS and had a detailed description of lap band in there. I thought to myself, "this could be for me". "I have to check this out". "I think I could do this". I felt very inspired and started right then to investigate more into lap band, the procedure and the after life. I booked a seminar and a year after that, I had the surgery.

It was only afterwards that I realized how bad I looked in photos. I avoided them like the plague anyway. Only afterwards that I realized how poor my self esteem is/was and all of the physical things that I haven't been able to do. When you gradually start feeling better, walking lighter and breathing easier you look back and say-"hey, I really have been adjusting my life around this obesity."

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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