Who You Gonna Blame?

[Jean McMillan 2,973]

When things go wrong during your weight loss journey, who are you going to blame?

I’m a control freak, so this is hard for me to say, but say it I must.

Life is full of unexpected events. Events that are good or bad, that you can or can’t explain, with effects that you may or may not be able to control. As much as I wish you (and myself) continued success on your weight loss journey, chances are that at some point, something’s going to go wrong. The fickle finger of fate is going to zap you with a surprise, a disappointment, a side effect, or a complication. It’s going to confuse, upset, frustrate, or infuriate you.

What are you going to do when that happens? Who are you going to blame? Your surgeon, your spouse, your sister, or the girl who won the spelling bee in 6^th grade when you were the far better speller? And when the blame is firmly placed (preferably at a considerable distance from you), then what are you going to do? Wait for your fairy bandmother (that would be me, Jean) to wave her magic wand over you and make it all better again?

You might not want to wait for me and my magic wand, because we’re fully booked until March of 2044. That means that you may have to find your way out of the problem all by yourself, because even if you can get someone else to accept the blame for your stuck episode or band slip or weight regain, you are the one who’s going to have to either live with it or fix it.

Oh, sure, you can take your surgeon to court over his purportedly inept placement of your band or port, once you convince an attorney that the case is worth at least (say) $100,000 in medical expenses, lifetime nursing care, lost wages, pain, suffering, and hangnails. And some ten or eleven years later, after dozens of postponements and motions and hearings, as well as thousands of $$ in court costs (all at your expense), you may or may not be granted an award or settlement that you may or may not be able to collect before March of 2044.

And meanwhile, you’ll still be obese, confused, upset, frustrated and infuriated. You’ll be divorced because your husband’s pizza habit ruined your diet. You’ll be lonely because your sister lied about how easy WLS is. You’ll be doctorless because your surgeon flagged your name with the infamous Difficult Patient tag. And did I mention you’ll still be obese?

Wow, this story doesn’t have a very happy ending, does it? I think we’d better start over. So take a deep breath and click here to find out how taking personal responsibility for your weight loss will give your WLS story a happy ending.

[running_scared 125]

I like it Jean!

[DeAna N 229]

So true we can't change events in our lives and people in our lives but we can change ourselves and how we allow the events to affects us

[Jachut 487]

Oh, I cant not pipe up on this one! This forum is FULL of victims. You read it time and time again. I'm thinking of a recen one "I want to lose weight but I'm not, can you look at my diet". She proceeds to list a horrible, high fat, processed diet that meets the lapband requirements only in portion size, nothing else. I gently suggest that she replace this with that, do a few cookups and freeze, stop eating a lean cuisine every single day for lunch and that perhaps a Protein bar snack in the afternoon (those things are mammoth in calories and aritificial ingredients) might be replaced by a piece of fruit and a few nuts. I get a very hostile reply about how she SAID she didnt have time to cook and she SAID she cant afford healthy food!

Uh, OK, so lean cuisines and Protein Bars ($3 or $4 each here!) are cheaper than a chicken breast, fresh salad ingredients and fruit. O - kaaaaaaay.

I dont know what comes first, the victim mentality and excuse making or the obesity - but they are most definitely intertwined. The people who are successful in this weight loss game are the ones that wise up and face the fact that its THEIR choice to remain fat and unhealth. Or not. It really is that simple.

But there's no telling some people.

[Jean McMillan 2,973]

But there's no telling some people.

Ain't that the truth!

And if you don't want to hear uncomfortable answers to your questions, keep your questions to yourself!