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To Tell Or Not To Tell



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Tomorrow will be one week at that I was banded and this wknd is th first time I shall face some friends and family. Of course my closest friends and closest family members know about my operation. I'm not afraid or shameful to tell people but I do prefer subtlety as I don't want 12332122 questions from ppl I don't converse with often. I'm also not one to lie about anything so what is your approach to who've you shared your news with and what do you tell them exactly?

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I have decided to tell very few people because it's no one's business, I've lost & gained a million times, I don't want to have to discuss it with people that don't get it & I don't want negative comments. So, I have lost 79 lbs & have 45 to go. People are noticing and I just say I am watching what I eat, portion size, concentrating on Protein & exercising, all of which is true. Best of luck to you!

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When my weight loss starts showing I'm planning on telling people I've been working hard at losing. Which is the truth.

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I tell anyone and everyone exactly how I lost my weight and I have since I first had it planned. I have only had one person made a rude comment to me and I was quick on my feet to make a remark back to him afterward. He suggested I was lucky I didnt DIE after having the surgery. I told him, NO, I WOULD BE DEAD if I hadn't and that was that and shut him up.

I had one or two people express some concern for me before my surgery but no one tried to talk me out of it and everyone is always so excited for me when they see me or when I talk about. Maybe because my own excitement comes through so much when I do discuss the issue.

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At first I didn't want people to know but now I don't care. I'm honest with anyone who asks but I don't blast IT out. I'm happy and confident with the decision I made and h ave absolutely no regrets. I would grace never made my decision if I hadn't heard everyone's stories so I share mine :)

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Initially I only told my husband, children, mum and one very close friend. A couple of people guessed and I couldn't lie to them. If people asked me straight if I had the band, I answered yes. But generally speaking, in the early months, I didn't volunteer the information. I felt it was my medical history and no one else's business. And I was a little embarrassed that I had chosen WLS - I guess a part of me still felt at that stage that I should have been able to do it myself! Well, I couldn't do it myself so I am glad I had the surgery.

Now I am happy to share that I have a gastric lapband and that it has been a valuable tool in helping me to lose 60kg.

I think it is an entirely personal decision and up to each of us as to how, when and why we tell people.

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I didn't tell anyone but my elderly parents. I only told them because I needed them to drive me to and from the hospital. My mother, on the other hand, has told everyone she knows. Not too happy with that.

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Only my husband, one close cousin and best friend know. Not my mother, in-laws or siblings. No support or understand on that end of the world so didn't feel it was any of their business.

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I haven't told many people, but the one who makes comments about me losing weight at a unhealthy rate. I simply tell them not to worry I am under doctor supervision and I have been banded. They stop with the questions and are now my supporters. I love my firefighters and medics for keeping my faith up and trying to help me through the stages of this. Only other person who knows back home is my mom. My family has no clue what is been going on. We decided to keep my mom in the loop so we wouldn't worry her to much, this was my hubby choice. I was just going to surprise her when I came home for vacation. :)

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I wasn't going to tell anyone, and didn't for the first three months. Now people are starting to notice my weight loss and it seems like any time someone makes a comment, I'm telling them all about the band!! So much for keeping it quiet!

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I am not good at keeping secrets and I did tell - before and after. I work at a University and work with many young people, they noticed my crazy pre-op diet and asked what gives. I told them and now they are my biggest support group. I dropped weight very fast (I had plication too) so I knew there would be many questions like - "Are you sick?" "Do you have Cancer?" Shoot, it was just easier to spill the Beans and tell I had WLS. I don't see any reason to be ashamed or not to tell. I have had many people ask questions about how it is done and what I can eat etc - these are people who really need to or want to have the surgery themselves or just be supportive of ME. It is an individual decision but for me, telling was the easiest and best. FYI - 93 pounds since my surgery 7/7/11..Kind of hard to keep that a secret. I have gone from a 22W in slacks to a very loose 14 (12 is on the way any day now). I would like to lose about 40-50 more but now the real work begins ! Have banding everyone and keep up the good work.

Melinda in Florida (formally known as Short and Chunky)

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I was banded in May 2010 and have lost about 85 lbs. very few know. I think people are judgmental and it really is none of their business. It's my personal decision & my battle. Many have asked me if I had surgery and I tell them I work very hard and try to eat lots of Protein.< /p>

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I agree with not telling "EVERYONE". I had not given it much thought; however, my Nutriionist suggested being caution about who I told. She said that she found co-workers were very judgmental of how, what and when you eat once they knew about your lap band surgery. Initially, I ONLY told my husband and one close friend. The week of my surgery, I told my sister and my children. I had lap band on April 9th and still have not told any of my co-workers and do not plan to. It is a personal decision and I can do without the lectures and non-supportive comments. Good Luck~

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I cannot lie about it. My morals don't allow for that. However, I don't advertise it either. My co-workers know and have been nothing but supportive. I'm sure most of my extended family knows, and some of them are probably waiting for me to fail ( my Grannie lives with me and there's some jealousy and dysfunction there) but those people will always exist.

I'm happy with my decision and that's what matters.

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you have to do what is right for you. there is no wrong or right thing to do. for me, i chose not to tell. it's no one's business but my own. My DH knows and one close friend that lives in another state knows...and nobody else. I personally didn't want the attention that it would bring, people watching every bite I put into my mouth or asking "should you be eating that???"

food issues were one of my biggest problems. now, i can go out with friends, eat what I want (just in smaller portions) and nobody is any the wiser. i haven't had to lie because no one has asked. and honestly, if someone did ask me, i probably would just say that i've been working out a lot and eating better which is the truth and isn't a lie at all. I haven't had any fills, so i have no restriction..so i feel it is absolutely true.

but again, that was my choice to not tell. whatever helps you. if people obsess over what i eat, then i get self conscious and I eat...if they don't notice, then i don't either. I know I have done the thing that is best for me.

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    • LeighaTR

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    • Doughgurl

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      1. Phil Penn

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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
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      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

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