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I Think Girls Hate Me Now...



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I was at a get together at my brother's house over the weekend. A lot of the people there were in his and his wife's bridal party with me last summer, but I haven't seen many of them for several months. A few of the former bridesmaids were commenting on how great I look, but I was a little taken aback by my sister in law's cousin's reaction. She walks in, sits near me, and doesn't say a word to me. She's usually very friendly so I was a little confused. Then someone mentioned how much weight I've lost and she said "Yeah, she's a b***h isn't she?" in a joking-but-not-really kind of way. Then she goes back to ignoring me. I didn't let it get to me, but I was a little hurt by it. I guess this is what I'm going to have to put up with now?

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sounds like she was so jealous she couldn't stand it... sorry you had to deal with that, but it sounds like she's got issues...

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i have heard all the stories from people about how friends (especially women) act afterwards. some of it isnt pretty. i think some people have pointed it out best to me that when someone you're close to loses weight it can evoke different reactions. maybe to them you were the trusty "big girl" friend that they always felt superior to. or maybe you are now smaller than them and it's forcing them to see their own weight problem etc. i think you look great and hope this wont hold you back. you are doing this for you and no one else. if that snotty chick cant handle it then too bad for her. i would have had to bite my tongue to keep from saying something totally childish like "takes a b*tch to know one huh?" hahaa!

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Some people esp. women don't like it when someone challenges their place in the social order. Is she thin? Does she think you are a "threat" to her? Really vain women want to be the prettiest in the room. Fat girls are'nt competition and are not seen at a threat to their social position. Once you are no longer fat you become competition.

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Glad it didn't affect you and you let it roll off your back. Yep sounds like she is jealous.

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Sounds like a compliment,LOL- I agree, she's probably jealous- whatever, not your problem!!!! You go, girl!!!!

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Very interesting - and very clearly jealousy. Don't be too hard on her though - her comment aside - it came from a sad/dark/bitter place and it's no fun to feel that way. I remember over the years being jealous of a few girls that lost a lot of weight - but i was also genuinely happy for them at the same time and would have never, ever said what your SIL said. Nowadays when my friends say anything at all to me (and i know they love me and are just "keeping it real") about being the skinny b***h etc. I know it's ok - that i went through that feeling too and I forgive them for being jealous because i do know they deeply care about me - we've all been through too much together. One thing though that I am guilty of is not feeling a bit sorry for others who are jealous because unless their insurance will not cover the procedure - which is possible in some cases - the only thing holding them back from doing the surgery like i did is their fear of it - and i bit the bullet and did it - the greatest risks often yield the greatest rewards - so, in short, most of the time, being the "skinny b***h" like me (or like i will be in 18 pounds to goal - ha!) is in their own hands and it's their "fault" if they don't pursue it like i did.

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OUCH !! sorry you had to deal with a bitchy SIL, but hey, its not your fault she has issues ! I agree with all the other post's, she's the one with the problem, not you. You look great , by the way and you've put alot of hard work, time and effort into getting yourself healthy Way to go !! Congratulations !!! .I think she's insecure because all of a sudden YOU were the center of attention, not HER !!!! Some people cant deal with it when they are'nt constantly being acknowledged or noticed ALL. THE. TIME. ( Sigh....................I work with one of them.................)

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      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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