Tired Of Hearing About Failures...

[Melissa76tx 22]

First and foremost, this is not written to offend anyone or upset anyone. I log in daily every morning for motivation. I understand that not everyone is a complete success with the lap band. However, I believe that if they look deep inside and evaluate the situation, they will see that the majority of the time the fault lies within. Of course there will be some where the band simply didn't work, but I believe that is the first excuse people throw when they don't see the weight coming off and staying off as they hope for. We all are different and will all lose weight at different speeds. I'm 17 months post op and have been a slow but steady loser. I'd be lying if I said that I didn't want it lose it very fast. But for me, slow and steady seems to be the way my body and the band are working and I'm good with that. Every pound lost is one pound the right direction. However, for the people who say that they hate it...that their doctor lied to them... that they want it taken out and gone...can you do it without it?? If so, why in the world did you get it in the first place? From my experience, this is so much more of a mental journey than a physical one. If you absolutely hate your band and wish you have never done the surgery, that is your decision and I will respect that. However, I just don't want to continually read over and over again that the band failed someone. It is a simple medical device, that is all.

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,722]

Thank you for that post. As a person about to have the surgery, its hard for me to read the posts that are (negative). I think and believe you must be in the right frame of mind to make this work. (I support everyone on here and hope everyone is successful).

[Jean McMillan 2,973]

I know exactly how you feel, and I think that a lot of people have bariatric surgery (of any kind) hoping or believing that it'll work like magic without any effort on their part. Sometimes that's because of poor pre-op education...not that their doctor lied to them, per se, but the bariatric team didn't give them the whole story.

But to be fair, I think that LBT members who are struggling, disappointed and suffering complications have as much right to post about their journeys as anyone else. If it seems that there are more negative posts than positive ones, it's probably because people tend to post more often when they're having problems than when they're doing fine. When I'm not in the mood to read the negative stuff, I do my best to ignore it.

[Dee_Climer 1]

I am tired of negativity:

One thing that really upsets me is that I have a dear friend that is also overweight. She has always harped on me to exercise more, but when I told her I was going to get the band, she was even worse. The week I had the surgery, I lost 14 pounds. Mostly because I was with my parents. They wouldn't let me eat anything, only the drinks and walk constantly. I know that's what we were supposed to do, but it was so very difficult to get up and down from the bed. Anyway, she saw me at my one week mark when I went back to work. She so was so very negative to me about it. She said it was way to fast. But being so overweight, I didn't think there was a problem. As of my 4 week post op, I had lost 20 pounds total. Then my friend was still telling me that was too much. I think 5 pounds a week is GOOD! What do you all think? Am I going to fast?

[honk 780]

I think when you have more to loose your weight loss is more dramatic post op. When I was pre op my doctor wanted me to go on a 500 calories liquid diet. His main selling point was that I could loose a pound a day. He planned on me being on this diet for several months! So I would'nt let your friend worry you for now. However, expect that your weight loss will slow down! My doctor said post op that you could loose 1-2 pounds per week. I've been slower than that.

[Jean McMillan 2,973]

I am tired of negativity:

One thing that really upsets me is that I have a dear friend that is also overweight. She has always harped on me to exercise more, but when I told her I was going to get the band, she was even worse. The week I had the surgery, I lost 14 pounds. Mostly because I was with my parents. They wouldn't let me eat anything, only the drinks and walk constantly. I know that's what we were supposed to do, but it was so very difficult to get up and down from the bed. Anyway, she saw me at my one week mark when I went back to work. She so was so very negative to me about it. She said it was way to fast. But being so overweight, I didn't think there was a problem. As of my 4 week post op, I had lost 20 pounds total. Then my friend was still telling me that was too much. I think 5 pounds a week is GOOD! What do you all think? Am I going to fast?

If you're following your surgeon's instructions and feel good, no, you're not losing too fast. Your weight loss will probably slow down eventually as your body adjusts your metabolism, but there's nothing wrong with a quick start like yours. So your weight loss is not the problem here. The problem is your friend's negativity, which I suspect hides some envy of you. If she keeps on making critical remarks, I'd have a heart-to-heart talk with her, or at the very least, tell her, "I appreciate your concern about my weight loss, but my doctor says I'm doing great, and I feel great, so could we not talk about it any more?"

[Dee_Climer 1]

Thank you for that Mrs. Jean. I do need to have a heart to heart with her. My husband tells me the same thing. He had his surgery in January and mine was 2.5 months later. So, he tells me to buck up. I'm doing great and that no one's opinion should matter but his. But truth be known, it does bother me. I have gone as far as avoiding her. I know something will be said, so I just avoid her all together.

[Waldog 0]

It is really interesting how the same people who tell you that you're fat or overweight and NEED to lose weight are the same people who tell you NOT to get the band. I avoided telling anyone because I already knew the response would be "Don't do it!" I had friends and total strangers tell me that. My wife had let the cat out of the bag to a few of my friends a couple days before my surgery, and those were the exact words I heard.

But heck, my primary doctor was included in this group. I went to him a month before and told him of my plans and his response was

Dr: You're overweight, need cholesterol meds, sleep apnea device, and BTW get your ass to the gym. OH and here's some anxiety pills...

Me: but wait Dr. I have already looked into LAP-BAND...

Dr: oh no that's highly dangerous and I will not approve of that. But hey, don't forget these pills I perscribed.

Hopefully, we'll prove them ALL wrong.

[MendyB 8]

Thank you for that Mrs. Jean. I do need to have a heart to heart with her. My husband tells me the same thing. He had his surgery in January and mine was 2.5 months later. So' date=' he tells me to buck up. I'm doing great and that no one's opinion should matter but his. But truth be known, it does bother me. I have gone as far as avoiding her. I know something will be said, so I just avoid her all together.[/quote']

I'm having my surgery May 10 and the one thing I've found is that people that are not educated about the procedure tends to sway towards negativity. I've been a yo-yo dieter for over 20 years and I've gone from a size 5 to 20 and back! I've lost fast, slow and up and down. To turn this into a positive ask your friend to support you not look down on you. Give her education on the tool and stop her from thinking you were looking to take the high road and looking for a easy fix. Sometimes, friends can be the rudest because they are the closest. But you need positivity not negativity and if she is a true friend the support will be there and if she can't see the accomplishments as a positive than maybe distance yourself from her for awhile. Envy tends to set in when people are succeeding;)

[Dee_Climer 1]

I have distanced myself from her. My closest friends are all so excited for me. I only told about 5 people outside my immediate family that I was getting it done. They were all ecstatic! Mostly my mom and mother-in-law because we are trying to get pregnant. That was out MAIN reason for getting this done. I'm 29 years old and have been looking into this myself for about 14 months. My mom, Dr., has been looking in to this for about 24 months.

[Jackie's girl 32]

I agree that some people are negative and I feel badly for people that think this is a magic bullet. i actually feel like I am working harder than I did on the regular diets I have done over the years, but it is worth. The best advice someone ever gave me was to go into this with your eyes wide open, knowing you have to work this to be successful. I get banded May 14th, but have been working hard since Feb and have lost 30 pounds, trying to maximize my time on the other side.

[DELETE THIS ACCOUNT! 12,703]

I couldn't agree with you more, Melissa76tx.

There are the rare times a person has complications, or the band truly doesn't work for them, by no fault of their own. But more often than not it's the person who failed the band, not the band who failed the person. They go into the surgery thinking it's like a magic bullet, and they can keep eating the same bad food they did before surgery. Or that they don't have to keep up with fills and their surgeon.

I understand people mess up, we're human, but I get really sick of all the negative posts about how much they hate their band when the truth is they have no one to blame but themselves for their failure. If someone messes up and posts looking for support on getting back on track, or even sharing their trials to help others, I think that's great. But I hate it when people come on here just to moan and complain about the band and blame it for their bad choices.

[Sal58 4]

My cousin who is one of my best friends said she was dissapointed in me. She was hoping I would start this fad diet with her and now I let her down...that was Monday after I got home. I asked her today how her diet was going.....she said she had to stop because it made her feel sick. My other best friend told me congrats and she will do whatever it takes to help me. She needs to lose 10 pounds and she said we will do this together. There are those that understand me, support me....those who don't.....won't. I will surround myself with those who will.

[DonnaMP 13]

Everything about the band is NOT all roses and puppies. There are negative things about as most people find out after banding. LOTS of people go into surgery not having a clue about how it works, how they're gonna feel after surgery and have no real concept of what they're gonna feel like afterwards. If a post seems negative simply don't read it, but the forums are here for everyone, negative and positive alike. If the header of the post seems negative, just bypass it. We're all entitled to have a place to vent about the band.

[Puppypaws57 137]

Sorry everyone isn't as perfect as you, Melissa!

I am on my second lap band. The port wasn't connected, so it did nothing. (not my fault, and I was feeling pretty low with everyone telling me I was doing something wrong)

This one is working great and I am thrilled.

I get discouraged, etc., just like an average bandster. This is a site for ALL bandsters. Where else, but this site, can I find encouragement when I am struggling. If you are tired of the negativity don't read it!!!

But I agree that people here post when they need help, want answers, etc. I know I have and thankfully kind people have helped me.