Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

How Do You Deal With Negative Feedback From Family,friends,coworkers About Being Banded?



Recommended Posts

I've told my parents, sister and an older cousin

(who is also overweight).

Sadly, the only one who has not told me that i took the easy way out (Mom)or that i'm not loosing fast enough (dad) or that i'm not going to succeed (sister) has been my older cousin since we have both had weight struggles all of our lives.

The few friends i have told have been surprisingly supportive and even know of more people my age (24) that have had the surgery.

In the end in know that i did this for me,

so that one day i can be healthy and not have to shop at specialty stores

or be concerned when i'm dating, or getting ready to start a family.

I still have issues with self doubt, but i'm working threw them.

=)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I only told my husband and daughter and no one else. I didn't feel like dealing with people's opinions.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

WOW ! all i can say is if im ever in a war i want all of you in the foxhole with me ! (especially you Cocobean ! You go girl !!) i love how everybody is so supportive of each other and how we really encourage each other to be strong and make good decisions. I told my family and they were 100 % supportive. I kept it low key but open at work and also got 100% support and it has continued since got banded 3 months ago,(down 30 lbs, several nice compliments, woohoo !!) i got a few normal , healthy questions about how the band worked, but nothing remotely negative. Im pretty outgoing, funny and positive anyway, (my glass is usually half full) so as i think people saw me discuss it in a positive way to get healthy, they reacted the same way. Pure support ! So if you have to deal with the haters, just realize they're either ignorant or need to put someone down to feel better about themselves. It's not about YOU, its about how they negativly feel about THEMSELVES !!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Same way I dealt with haters before I got skinny: your opinion would be best kept to yourself. The constant compliments I get far outweigh the negative ones. People are surprised when I do tell them but I also usually share that I've lost 60 pounds since last may, more than halved my triglyceride count and have almost all normal blood values. A far cry from last year.

Bottom line: the decision to get banded is a medical decision that is best left between you and your physicians. The naysayers would hate on you if you didn't make the choice to take control of your weight. Now they have a different thing to pick on. They will move on eventually. Until then keep your chin up!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The only person that knows, outside of my doctors, is my husband. I am a very private person by nature and don't share much of my medical history with anyone. I also knew that this would be a journey that I needed to feel positive and good about to be successful and negative remarks were certainly going to have me feeling bad about myself and would affect me. Fortunately for me I have lost about 100 lbs in the past (of course gained it all back plus some) so family and friends know I can get it off....so I haven't had any questions about my weight loss....only difference this time is that I will never regain it.

Unfortunately people who do not have weight issues have no idea what we go through. I am always amazed when I hear that wls is a cheat....a cheat at what? Losing weight to stay healthy? Better quality of life? Cocobean said it all very well.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I put a post out to my friends and family via Facebook initially when I was considering the surgery. I of course got a lot of feedback. No one said they thought it was good idea, everyone said that I could do it on my own, or that I didn’t need surgery.

Most of them didn’t know that I was at risk for a heart attack, had high blood pressure, and high cholesterol. All they knew was that I was “big”.

After I was approved for surgery I told everyone that I was having it. I got a lot of supportive comments but I also got several private messages about why I was doing it or people offering to help me lose weight without the surgery.

I’ve been strong since then and very open. At this point I would just tell someone to kiss my ass if they have something bad to say. They don’t know you and they don’t know what you’ve been through.

Being fat is something that a skinny person will never understand unless they have been there…

Check out my blog for more information on my Lapband Journey:

http://sarahclover7.blogspot.com/

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The only person that knows, outside of my doctors, is my husband. I am a very private person by nature and don't share much of my medical history with anyone. I also knew that this would be a journey that I needed to feel positive and good about to be successful and negative remarks were certainly going to have me feeling bad about myself and would affect me. Fortunately for me I have lost about 100 lbs in the past (of course gained it all back plus some) so family and friends know I can get it off....so I haven't had any questions about my weight loss....only difference this time is that I will never regain it.

Unfortunately people who do not have weight issues have no idea what we go through. I am always amazed when I hear that wls is a cheat....a cheat at what? Losing weight to stay healthy? Better quality of life? Cocobean said it all very well.

boy oh boy.. . i can identify so much with this post... thank you for saying it like i would say it. i dont need any negativity to get in the way of this way of life ive entered into.. thanks for posting. (( hugs ))

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • rlcpd

      Two months out from hiatal hernia repair.  Surgeon said to expect a lot more flatulence...something about the 'air' no longer being able to 'burp' out so comes out the other end.  That is my experience but have no understanding of why that swallowed air cannot be 'burped'. ???
      · 1 reply
      1. BlondePatriotInCDA

        As I understand it since your stomach is smaller and not completely resting against your diaphragm anymore you no longer have the ability to "push" burps out as well. Plus, since its smaller and we don't digest slower the trapped air moves a lot quicker out of the stomach so its no longer available to burp out. Hence the other option for removal.

    • Lizette1122

      Anyone had the TORe procedure? How did it go? How much weight did you loose? 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LadyVeteran1

      Sleeve surgery is on April 14th.  I am counting the days!!  Can't wait!
      · 3 replies
      1. Brookie2shoes

        Me too girl!! Are you in the full liquid diet right now? It’s sooooo hard!

      2. LadyVeteran1

        Not yet. I was told I only have to do 24 hours of a liquid diet. But I have my pre-op tomorrow so I’m going to confirm if I need to do longer.

      3. buildabetteranna

        Your so close now! It's gonna be great :) Wishing you a speedy recovery and looking forward to seeing how it goes!

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×