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Down In Out In Denver........



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It has been 11 days since my surgery. I physically am doing wonderful. Mentally - not so good. I am finding that I am feeling lost. My life used to be filled with snacking and eating out with family and friends, and now it's not. So, really I don't know what to do with myself. This change is a wonderful and healthy one but I feel secluded and alone. I have a best friend that I loved to go eat with, and when we would hang out at her house we would always order pizza and have some wine. This past week I hung out with her at her home and I found it difficult. She asked me several times out of habit if I wanted to order pizza or go eat Mexican. It was awkward. When I left, I got the feeling that she felt differently about me and our friendship. It has been the same way with my family. My mom asked me to go to lunch, obviously forgetting that I can't. It's different, so much of my life revolved around food and good times that now I just kind of feel blah.

I definately could use a little lap band forum love. Hearing from someone else that has felt like this would be awesome!

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I have a friend who had lap band a few years ago. We go out all the time and she just eats slower than anyone else. She enjoys her wine and good company but I've noticed when I'm with her we all enjoy our meal so much more and the time we spend together. It's made me realize that meals are a time to come together and relax instead of just consuming food. "Turning the tables" as they so often do these days. I'm sure this is something we (banders) will need to learn but over time I'm sure your friends and family will start to enjoy the time spent with you, instead of being focused on the food. I haven't been banded yet, but I'm pretty sure this is going to drive my children crazy. "Mom your sooooo slow" hehe I can't wait!

Keep your spirits up!

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Well this is going to be some tough love...

you may think your life was 'full' with eating with friends and family but in reality if the food was the most important thing it actually was kind of empty. and with your friend the value there should be her and of course you and your connection, again if it was food it wasnt the friendship you thought it was. This is a time to enjoy your life and the people in it without the anesthesia of food.

If you reread your post and change all the food reference to cocaine you can see it just wasnt healthy. This is a scary and exciting time to see who you are and what you value without food at the center of it...I can tell you I was just like you and now I just feel so free...I enjoy food but it just isnt that important to me now...I am living my life! Best of luck...you will get plenty of hugs and love here and you deserve it but I am the harsh voice of reality that I think you also need because i needed it too and I think we all do!

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Once you're back on normal, solid food and you can still do those things just in moderation.

Today I chaperoned a high school band trip to a competition, while down there we had pizza for lunch. The kids ate tons, I ate one single piece slowly, and didn't even have room to finish the crust.

Last week I went out to dinner with my kids. I got a wonderful salad with fat free dressing and a bowl of my favorite Soup. I was totally stuffed as well as had a lovely meal with my kids.

Your priority needs to be the company you're with, not the food you're eating, then you can make good food choices and still enjoy the social nature that goes along with humans and eating.

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Xavier, what a great post! Thank you.

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im 3 months banded and i can eat EVERYTHING, just slowly and chew well. since ive been banded ive had pizza, steak, pork chops etc. while i dont care for 99 % of alcohol, tonight im having a strawberry margarita in celebration of losing my 1st 25 lbs ! (Woo hoo! i hit 200 today !) so remember, you are in the early STAGE of being banded," and this too shall pass." good luck !

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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