I haven't been completely honest with the people around me which is something that isn't normal in my character since I have always been an honest person. I have been telling people at work that I had a procedure done, my family that it was an emergency surgery, i deleted my face book so i wouldnt slip and throw a status update. I even went to the extent to break up with my girl friend so she wouldnt know the truth. I don't think that I'm embarrassed of what I did because I don't regret it. I do think it's my pride and the worry of what people will say like I'm a failure or that's the easy way out I have no courage to do it on my own. Truthfully I must admit growing up I was fit played football and lacrosse from my peewee years into my collage years even trained with an nfl team up north as a temp. But I had an accident that changed my life broke my leg and went from 180 pounds solid to this 331 pounds of fat I could of stopped but I became a workaholic sucssesful young cute chunky with a personality that shined thru any room club bar or place so my confidence was never the issue and mind you a wonderful girlfriend that one day might of been my wife and mother of my children Italian beautiful catholic currently doing her residence at Colombia. Ironic how I worked so hard on not feeling fat not looking fat or as people would say smell like a fattie. I dressed well clean and presented myself with pride confidence cockiness to the point I wouldn't feel bad I did work out felt healthy no diabetease no high blood pressure nothing that made my obesity mortal so I continued to work out loose some weight failed ate food at my lesiure when I traveled when I celebrated or even when it wasn't my celebration. Till one day my castle I built from the sands of my denial came crashing down as I was ready for the biggest meeting of my career I felt flushed my cheeks turned red so I took a seat till I felt that my presentation was to be given with appropriate attention and no distraction mind you the client is waiting as I walked in I took the last breath of my self lies as my presentation was executed properly deal closed after a glass of Dom rose as a celebration toast I then walked out of the presentation room. I took 14 steps to the elevator to find myself on the 19th floor in my new office over looking down town new york city what a view i was the new youngest senior excecutive in our company I fell to my knees in tears and held the floor as if the exhaustion I felt in my body and bones came from my triumph of all the hard work that I have put in the last few years of my life but that wasn't the case I was having heart spasums that led to a mild stroke Dat day. With a flash I saw my child hood in the suburbs of rockland county with my parents and siblings my college years my football years my intern years in Atlanta Georgia working hard for the Atlanta falcons labor day weekend with my girlfriend in the hamptons or out at touch NYC living the life with my friends or those endless Sunday dinners with the family traveling for work or fun n then thars what became all the reason on why I decided to live and do this. My doctor said its an emergency for me to do this because only I can determine how much longer I breath a healthy livable life. I know that now on my own I can't do this alone and i cant continue to lie to myself and live in this denial. this Sunday I will come clean with everybody and tell them the truth with out fear of their judgment. This is my journey only I decide how much longer I choose to live. My only real reason the only real truth is that I want to live I choose to live I need to live.

I only told my family and close friends and the school nurse at work. That was all who needed to know in my world. No I didn't tell my best friend because even though she is my friend she has hater tendency. I choose not to tell them because people watch you and stare at you when they know. They watch what you are eating and how much your eating. Weight loss is hard enough on its on, you don't need extra issue going on. I would tell my closest family and girlfriend if I were you. You don't want to loss her think about it she has been with you through thick and pretty soon thin. You are blessed to be iin a realationship with someone who loves you for who you are.

I'm sorry ur going thru this alone. I wanted to have the band for a few yrs now but didn't want anyone to know abt it. When i finally put things into motion i told my husband and kids, right away i heard the why u don't need it and everything else in between. i then stopped everyone n said to them this is something I'm going to to i don't care to hear any negative stories or anything else. I'm just letting you all know that this is what I'm doing for my self i don't care what ppl have to say or what they think about it is going to happen and all I need from my family is support...after that my husband has been supportive as well as my children I did have my first born try n talk me out of it a few other times and i would reply to her by saying is going to happen and I'm going to need everyone's support including yours.I'm happy to say she's being amazing she helped me so much during my first week of recovery. i also told my boss and a few ppl at work which i know is going to get around like while fire. we've actually had 3 ppl that also had a band at my work and you wouldn't believe all the gossip that went around. but i figure If this ppl look amazing now I don't want to get left behind lol...so i guess what I'm saying is all that really matters is family and they will love you even if they don't approve I haven't told my parents or anyone else. i already know my parents aren't going to approve.But guess what I'm a grown a** woman and need no ones approval to do what's best for me.......good luck on your journey and if your not ready to start telling ppl don't tell them, only you know when your ready

how did it go?????

lito, its your choice whether to tell people or not, but im just a little confused on why you think those people will be less supportive of you for taking control of your weight problem . you worked hard to get where you are now, and obviously had a great group of people who helped you get there, so why would they think less of you or not be supportive of this ? no disrespect intended, im just confused. if anything, they will probably think even better of you because you're taking the bull by the horns and dealing with a problem in a smart, strong ,well thought out way. GOOD FOR YOU !!! addressing a situation in a comfortable, knowledgeable, positive way will generaly get you the same response. if someone has a negative response, its usually because they dont know anything about lap band. i ve had nothing but 100% support, and no negative comments, just a few normal healthy questions, and after i started loosing ..........well, then the nice compliments started and the nsv's. I honestly think you're making the right decision but making yourself stress out over telling people isnt healthy ..........(Save the stress for when your too loose pants start falling off in public..................picture that!) Good luck !!!

It went great I can't complain they understood and are extreamly happy that I decided to do something about it before it became completely out of control. It never was the fear of them not supporting me it was the fear of the push back or the assassination of the idea or to my character for choosing this way by them thinking that it's a weakness oppose to being a tool to help me. But I was wrong they didn't criticize me they ended up understanding.

I think that as overweight people we have been on so many diets, put money into so many programs.....and still are overweight.. makes us leary..even of the lapband. Telling everyone we are now willing to have some doctor drill holes in our bodies and insert some foreign object to help with appetite control sounds.. we'll almost extraterrestrial. Our friends look at us as if we are putting Borg parts into our bodies and are about to join the collective. My very dearest and best friend said jokingly to me.. "you better not look better than me when you lose your weight or I won't be your friend anymore." Now, hmmm.. was that really a joke??? cause I"m not laughing... I think at least a few of us lie or don't tell EVEryONe about "THE BAND" is that we've seen more failures than successes with weight loss in our lives.. and our dear friends and families have watch us bounce around with weight control programs for years... on some level i for one wonder if they are gloating over yet ANOTHER failure to come....many have lost all hope for us..watching us lose and regain our weight over the course of years. I had a doctor at my hospital once say, so matter-of factly I could just kill him... "oh, her.. yeah she looks good now, but it never lasts... she goes up and down.. she'll gain it back" (and damn if he wasn't right AGAIN!!! so it mums the word for some of us.. its partly due to the history that we ourselves have created. Better to wait and see if this band really helps.. before I for one start spreading the "Good news"...I don't need any more criticism.. I can do this without all that drama.

I agree with ladyfromirvine 100% there are reasons why we as human decide to be private with certain things that go on in my life but I can relate to your experiences because it's the same here.

Ladyfromirvine, it's funny (in a twisted way), my best friend would have reacted the same way...had I told her. We'd been friends for over 10 years and she'd watched me lose 90lbs before from dieting and gave me nothing but hell about how skinny I was. She's always been skinnier than me so for once, I was the skinny one. I didn't even think twice about not telling her about my band.

Some people are on a need to know basis. My mother, father, boyfriend, 2 coworkers and 1 best friend. That's the only people I've told. Oh and all you folks.

I feel so happy and blessed that this forum exists for all of us. It is one place I know I can come to and share my feelings and thoughts and not get judged about my weight. I am grateful for your comments and the support and that inspires me to keep going. I may not be willing to tell everyone about my band now, but at least I know there is a place I can go to talk openly and it is my way of staying connected to one group of people whom I know can share my sentiments.

I agree with lady from irvine (love ur posts. Ur so funny). I only told my fiance. It's no ones business! I have enough stress from this without adding everyone watching and waiting for me to fail!

It is your business whom you decide to tell. I would encourage you to come clean to the people you care about. Tell them you were embarrassed and weren't ready for them to know until that day. Sounds like you have had some really big experiences (no pun intended). I can only guess that if you had the ability to navigate all these changes by yourself then you have the courage to tell people that you had the courage to take this step. I have only denied getting the band once and called him back two minutes later to come clean and apologize. You would not have posted if it didn't bother you. So take the big personality and let it shine through a smaller you.