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Why do people think you are crazy when you tell them your considering WLS?



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I have only told a few people about my pending WLS, and don't understand why people think I am crazy!! I keep hearing are you crazy' and "don't you know the risks"? My hubby is very supportive - but even my mother thinks I am crazy for considering WLS. I'm am having surgery-I am doing it for my health and to get my life back! Has anyone else experienced this reaction from friends? :angry:

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I have only told a few people about my pending WLS, and don't understand why people think I am crazy!! I keep hearing are you crazy' and "don't you know the risks"? My hubby is very supportive - but even my mother thinks I am crazy for considering WLS. I'm am having surgery-I am doing it for my health and to get my life back! Has anyone else experienced this reaction from friends? :angry:

Put it down to their ignorance. My experience has been that most people lump all weight loss surgeries into one group, and they think of bypass before anything else. You say "I'm having surgery" and they immediately think "bypass," and they stop listening. They've heard the horror stories about people who have had serious side effects, and maybe even died due to complications from surgery. And everyone knows somebody who knows somebody who heard about someone else who had a problem.

One of the reasons I'm so up front about my surgery with anyone who asks is so they can put a positive-results face on things. I've had no problems, and have been pretty successful at this whole banding thing. But few people know anyone face-to-face who has been successful. In my case, those early naysayers are now very positive advocates of this surgery, for those who need it.

Dave

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I am getting the "oh, you don't need WLS" comments from a lot of peeps. My mother who is 4'11'' and 120 pounds is saying she would never do it. Well she has never been 5'5'' and 225 pounds... Do what you want to do, it is your body, your future, your health, and your piece of mind.

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I've got a good friend who'se a nurse who looked into banding briefly but she doesnt have private health insurance - which makes it virtually impossible to get done in Australia unless you're willing to fork out a lot of money, which she didnt have. Then she said "I was only half serious anyway, I've seen the terrible problems that bands can cause". Teasing more info out of her, its obvious she's nursed a few bypass patients and not banded people. But she obviously feels its a dangerous, very extreme surgery and she really doesnt want to get it done. She's never said I'm crazy, and I dont think she thinks so but she's just not interested. Mind you, she's not been able to conceive due to PCOS, she's luckily had one baby and tried for years to have another, had a miscarriage and is now 44n and knows that her weight is the cause of her problems, not to mention her kidneys are diseased, and yet, she's not interested in WLS? I dont get that.

I've got another girlfriend who must seriously be 300lb, she's so obese now and gets bigger every year, gorgeous girl, she looks just like Dawn French. But she's never so much as expressed even a passing interest in what its like to live with a band even though she's seen me have such success. She's never asked me one single thing about it, she's been happy for me, never been jealous or nasty about my weight loss, just doesnt seem remotely interested or remotely motivated to do something about her weight before she starts to have major problems (we're all mid 40's now afterall). It baffles me.

I guess its along the same lines of people thinking you're crazy. Dont people understand how GOOD they could look and feel? Dont they understand how dangerous obesity is? My weight loss may even have made the difference between me having a permanent ileostomy and wearing a bag for the rest of my lifea nd being able to have that reversed and being essentially normal, because as my colorectal surgeon said - in some people, theyr'e just too fat for him to get access so deep into the pelvis and there's just too much fat to stretch the colon over to rejoin it. I thank the heavens every single day for my lap band.

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Put it down to their ignorance.

There is a lot of misinformation out there and I think you hear more about the bad cases than those that have had success. A sensationalist TV show recently discusses WLS (all bypasses) and had more people talking about how they gained more wight afterwards. Or how people died from the surgery. The only one doctor was shown trying to defend WLS when the overwhelming majority of the program shows three women after their WLS eating junk food, KFC and candy. Not one success story was shown and nothing over lap-bands.

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I didn't tell anybody but family that I was doing it. I have told people after I had it done and only got one negative comment from a guy who is a vegetarian and very thin. People are just stupid sometimes. You are doing this for you not them so just try to tune the negatives out. Good luck, your doing the right thing.

I have only told a few people about my pending WLS, and don't understand why people think I am crazy!! I keep hearing are you crazy' and "don't you know the risks"? My hubby is very supportive - but even my mother thinks I am crazy for considering WLS. I'm am having surgery-I am doing it for my health and to get my life back! Has anyone else experienced this reaction from friends? :angry:

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I have only told a few people about my pending WLS, and don't understand why people think I am crazy!! I keep hearing are you crazy' and "don't you know the risks"? My hubby is very supportive - but even my mother thinks I am crazy for considering WLS. I'm am having surgery-I am doing it for my health and to get my life back! Has anyone else experienced this reaction from friends? :angry:

I don't know what it is but when you tell people you are thinking about or looking into having WLS they do look at you as if you have lost your mind. I have a friend who told me she went to a free lap band seminar and after she found out she would have to come up with 20% of the cost she has not mentioned anything more about it. So, when I told her that I was approved by my insurance (now I have to change surgeons) and that they will cover at 100% she was just like "O, that's nice." I told my Mom and I could just see the look on her face even though she didn't say anything. Now she keeps trying to get me to join WW with her, she keeps mentioning how they have a special and she is going to join and I should join with her. She doesn't even have a weight problem...lol. I told my BFF and she said "what ever you need to do to make you feel happy, I'm all for it." So, at this point unless they ask me how things are going I don't even mention it to them. What people think about WLS is their own problem, and opinions are like buttholes, everyone has one. So don't even let them bother you. When I feel like I need encouragement, I come on this forum or I talk with my friends who have already had some type of WLS. Live and let live.

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They probably don't really understand anything about this procedure. They are probably familiar with the gastric bypass when it was not done laproscoptically. Heck sometimes I have a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that I am putting a band around my stomach to lose weight.

I really didn't tell many people because I don't want to hear negative remarks. I definitely don't need any food police after the procedure anyway.

My new motto:

"What other people think of us, is none of our business".

Paolo Coelho

Out of the 4 people I told the one naysayer (my mom), I told her ...next year you will be telling me that its the best thing I ever did for myself.

Good Luck on your journey & look for inspirational friends along the way.

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I think people who criticize the idea of WLS have their own issues about food, eating, and their weight! I dont think it has anything to do with us who have the Band or the risks etc. I think the quote above in Skinny's post says it all. Their issues are their issues and not for us to worry about. PLEASE dont engage in discussions with these negative people...they are not helping you at all.

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One of the things that my doctor said to me that really struck a chord was that of course I could get the same results by eating the amount of food that I will be limited to after surgery but there would be no way that I would be satisfied by that amount of food and I would eventually return to eating to the capacity of my stomach. What the surgery will do will be make me comfortable eating less because I will be satisfied by what I have eaten.

Also one of my pet peeves is seeing people say I can't imagine having a foreign object in me, my question for those people is what is the difference between having the band implanted to help save your life and having a pacemaker or joint replacement. The people with those devices got them to either save or improve the quality of their lives and the band is doing the same thing

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Shelly, very well said!

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That's a good one!!!

One of the things that my doctor said to me that really struck a chord was that of course I could get the same results by eating the amount of food that I will be limited to after surgery but there would be no way that I would be satisfied by that amount of food and I would eventually return to eating to the capacity of my stomach. What the surgery will do will be make me comfortable eating less because I will be satisfied by what I have eaten.

Also one of my pet peeves is seeing people say I can't imagine having a foreign object in me, my question for those people is what is the difference between having the band implanted to help save your life and having a pacemaker or joint replacement. The people with those devices got them to either save or improve the quality of their lives and the band is doing the same thing

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I have only told a few people about my pending WLS, and don't understand why people think I am crazy!! I keep hearing are you crazy' and "don't you know the risks"? My hubby is very supportive - but even my mother thinks I am crazy for considering WLS. I'm am having surgery-I am doing it for my health and to get my life back! Has anyone else experienced this reaction from friends? :angry:

I'm sort of in the same boat. I just finished the 6 month pre band diet with my GP, and all my paperwork was sent off today to BCBS. My husband and children are very supportive. BUT, I have felt like I had to Justify my reasons to everyone else! I finally quit telling people because, hey it's MY body and I'm tired of toting around 100+ lbs of excess. People who don't have a weight problem will never be able to understand what it does not only to your health, but also to the psyche of the overweight person.

As far as the risks go, I have found one of the best surgeons in my state and the surgery will be performed at at Center for Excellence. I've minimized the risk as much as possible. I hate to think of the alternative risk I would take if I do not do this surgery, just last week, my BP shot up to 205/174!! I am terrified that if I don't do something drastic soon, a stroke or worse is in my future.

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I think it is really important to seriously consider who you tell about the decision to get banded. I have only told husband. No one else will know. I just don't want to deal with the questions and comments. It really is no one else's business, anyway.

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What do these people think is "crazy"? The money spent, the risk of surgery to your health, the restrictive diet, not understanding the procedure....etc. I think I would ask people to define what they think is "crazy", then perhaps I would have a response.

I haven't told anyone about my surgery, except my husband and doctors, in order to avoid these conversations. Perhaps when they notice me losing weight and asking more questions, I may or may not answer them. For me, this surgery is a tool not only to help me lose weight, but maintain that weight loss for the long term. I have tried many other ways of losing weight and have been successful on several of them. I have never been successful at maintaining the weight loss and have gained back all that I lost plus more. I think it is crazier to live like that than to find a tool that will help me maintain my weight loss and regain my health. The crazy diets and following weight gain are far more dangerous to my health (physical and mental) than this surgery and ultimately this is why I chose this route. I wish you luck in dealing with the "crazy" comments.

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