Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

the 'why can't you just lose the weight normaly' question...



Recommended Posts

My parents are wonderful folks...loving, supportive.....

but.

Today I got the 'I read this article from a lady who was going to have the (lapband) surgery and instead she just lost the weight...question. You know this discussion/ topic......I am sure most lap banders have heard it.....

Friends are fine, family...not so much. When I looked at banding 6 years ago it was the same discussion...

How do I combat (NOT the right word, but the only one I can think of) this mindset/train of talk?

Ultimately this is NOT their decision, it is MINE, that said I think we all want support from them.

(side note, this is my father and (step) mother who have been married 32 years, my other mom I haven't told nor do I plan on (none of her business).

Hi

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My parents are wonderful folks...loving, supportive.....

but.

Today I got the 'I read this article from a lady who was going to have the (lapband) surgery and instead she just lost the weight...question. You know this discussion/ topic......I am sure most lap banders have heard it.....

Friends are fine, family...not so much. When I looked at banding 6 years ago it was the same discussion...

How do I combat (NOT the right word, but the only one I can think of) this mindset/train of talk?

Ultimately this is NOT their decision, it is MINE, that said I think we all want support from them.

(side note, this is my father and (step) mother who have been married 32 years, my other mom I haven't told nor do I plan on (none of her business).

Hi

Seeing that coming........I never told my family--beyond the immediates like my own children who are young adults. My parents, siblings, etc have been left in the dark. Sad reality......because there's so much I'd like to share and educate them on as they are interested........but they'll never know. It's easiest that way for me.

I feel for you........could see that same thing coming from my ever devoted mama and papa, all in the name of love and knowing what is best for their children............even though we are all in our 40's & 50's.

Like fills and the amount needed, and the right decision for each person, it's an individual choice--not one right answer.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

no kids here, 49....and I keep wanting to defend them with "but they mean well" (and then find myself laughing and shaking my head)

Seeing that coming........I never told my family--beyond the immediates like my own children who are young adults. My parents, siblings, etc have been left in the dark. Sad reality......because there's so much I'd like to share and educate them on as they are interested........but they'll never know. It's easiest that way for me.

I feel for you........could see that same thing coming from my ever devoted mama and papa, all in the name of love and knowing what is best for their children............even though we are all in our 40's & 50's.

Like fills and the amount needed, and the right decision for each person, it's an individual choice--not one right answer.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My parents are wonderful folks...loving, supportive.....

but.

Today I got the 'I read this article from a lady who was going to have the (lapband) surgery and instead she just lost the weight...question. You know this discussion/ topic......I am sure most lap banders have heard it.....

Friends are fine, family...not so much. When I looked at banding 6 years ago it was the same discussion...

How do I combat (NOT the right word, but the only one I can think of) this mindset/train of talk?

Ultimately this is NOT their decision, it is MINE, that said I think we all want support from them.

(side note, this is my father and (step) mother who have been married 32 years, my other mom I haven't told nor do I plan on (none of her business).

Hi

I've gotten this. I say that i've used other methods and gained the weight back, this is a tool that will help teach me correct eating habits that i can use for the rest of my life.

People who haven't struggled with weight...well, they have a hard time understanding the addiction those of us who do struggle have with food. The band gives motivation, restriction, and support. Overeating is just like any other addiction. Drug addicts get rehab, halfway houses; we get lap band! smile.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

DING! thanks!!!!

my step mom was freaked when I told her food CALLS to me....she said 'you hear voices'? (lol)... I asked how there could be one or two bites of something and she not notice it... like when someone brings sweets in to work....it drives me NUTS!!!!

I can hear it calling to me. She does not and will not 'get that'. Same with my dad....thank you so very much for this 'reasoning tool'- great group folks .....

PenNdulum

I've gotten this. I say that i've used other methods and gained the weight back, this is a tool that will help teach me correct eating habits that i can use for the rest of my life.

People who haven't struggled with weight...well, they have a hard time understanding the addiction those of us who do struggle have with food. The band gives motivation, restriction, and support. Overeating is just like any other addiction. Drug addicts get rehab, halfway houses; we get lap band! smile.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

calls at you?!? THAT CRAP SCREAMS AND WAVES AT ME! tongue.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Not to highjack this thread but wanted to say that nikki, you look great! The pictures are amazing.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Not to highjack this thread but wanted to say that nikki, you look great! The pictures are amazing.

ty so much! I'm so happy to actually have some after pics biggrin.gif really starting to see it!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

RULE # 1:

DO NOT engage in a conversation, dialog, or argument about your choices. Whatever the person says just nod and smile. As soon as you start defending your choice you have invited the other person to make their counterpoint.When they say , "why cant you do what this lady did?" just smile and say "Oh, I dont know " and STOP talking. They will tire of it if you dont participate.

With this type or speed of weight loss lots of people want to be in your business about it and it seems it mostly stems from THEIR weight issues and isnt even about you. Good luck...dont participate in the conversation and there wont be a conversation!!!

My parents are wonderful folks...loving, supportive.....

but.

Today I got the 'I read this article from a lady who was going to have the (lapband) surgery and instead she just lost the weight...question. You know this discussion/ topic......I am sure most lap banders have heard it.....

Friends are fine, family...not so much. When I looked at banding 6 years ago it was the same discussion...

How do I combat (NOT the right word, but the only one I can think of) this mindset/train of talk?

Ultimately this is NOT their decision, it is MINE, that said I think we all want support from them.

(side note, this is my father and (step) mother who have been married 32 years, my other mom I haven't told nor do I plan on (none of her business).

Hi

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

wow. love all the PASSION in this group (guess you gotta put that former food passion somewhere eh?)

as to the comment, this is my folks....part of there job IS to make us crazy eh?

-little side note here- if this (weight loss) were SO easy ....well I WROTE a healthy cookbook ("No More Fat Bears, a healthy guide and cookbook), taught healthy cooking and have a genuine culinary degree.....easy as um...pie.

-as to the voices calling- when I was in a kitchen I told folks it was like a alcoholic working in a bar.... there was food EVERYWHERE....nibble here and there and here and there....culinary school was like a fantasy! (rule- in B&P (baking and pastry) you gain 3-5 lbs, I gained 5-10). I would hurt from eating after class....

I even have a one year chip from OA here somewhere..

as to the smile and nod reply- I like that. just say thanks and let it pass (the ultra skinny boss is a good case, she can eat a moose and not gain weight.... yet I am sure she has her own challenges) so...

you folks are awesome...thanks

one day closer to my consult with Dr Daly....

PenNdulum

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My comeback would be. "Has that worked for me before? Did I keep it off? (no and no). I need help, I can't do it alone and this is a good tool to help me."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hmmmmm....I guess that I'm am in a different mind-set than some of you...because I really don't care what anyone thinks!!!!

My life...my decision!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Before I had my surgery, I had a couple of times where I had to cut people off, and say something like "Look, I've made my decision and I'd rather not have to justify myself over and over again to different people, so maybe we should just talk about something else now..." (For me it was friends, not family.)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hmmmmm....I guess that I'm am in a different mind-set than some of you...because I really don't care what anyone thinks!!!!

My life...my decision!!

My thinking exactly. I tend to be an open book anyway, so I really didn't care who knew.

I just tell people that this is my way of getting and staying healthy. Most people are very supportive (at least to my face). The others can go jump off the proverbial bridge for all I care.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

People just don't understand unless they struggled with weight issues themselevs. My hubby said the same thing to me before surgery-I think he was getting a little scared about me getting an operation. I think it stems from concern.

The other day on the Today show they had a woman who lost a lot of weight on-the whole before and after pictures. Kathie Lee says "Oh I am so glad to hear you did it the natural way." I am thinking WTH ! I am proud of my weight loss and I am damn proud that I was brave enough and determined enough to get the lapband surgery. It takes real strength to go through all the stages of banding.

Ultimately it's your life, your decision, your health.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • vsg.with.sharon

      Hey everyone!
      I’m new here! Looking for some friends! 🥰
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×