Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Who says that to someone's husband!!!



Recommended Posts

My husband came home from work in a not so great mood today. He always texts me on his breaks, and when he did today, I could tell he wasn't in a great mood. When he got home I asked him if he was ok, and he told me what was bugging him. Yesterday I ran into a guy he works with (who he doesn't really like too well) and talked to him for a couple minutes while we were waiting for our coffees. Apparently today at work this guy goes up to my husband and tells him he saw me, so my husband was like, oh ya, that's nice. This guy goes on to tell my husband that he had to try hard not to look at me. My husband (a little baffled) asked him why? The guy proceeds to tell him that I am looking really good and he was thinking of doing things to me that he shouldn't. Who tells someone's husband that!!!! I mean, really? I think it bothered him so much because this guy isn't one of his favorite people. Some of his friends have made comments similar to that, and it didn't bother him as much. I mentioned that to him, and he said that he doesn't like guys looking at me all the time now. I just had to tell him that I love him, and to think of it this way, they can look....but only he can touch :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What is wrong with some people? I mean clearly it was a compliment, but holy inappropriate confession, batman!

Your husband has my respect for keeping it professional and not telling him off.

Only one person that I know of has commented to my husband about my weight-- funnily enough, it was a guy that works at a barbecue place we eat at regularly on Sundays. I guess he didn't want to say anything to me about my weight (smart man), but asked my husband if I've lost weight. He said, yes, she has. The guy said, well, she's lost a lot-- like 30 or 40 lbs, right? My husband just said yes, she's lost a lot and left it at that. He told me he wasn't sure if I'd be complimented or angry that he thought I'd "only" lost 30-40 lbs. I chose to feel flattered :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What a jerk, nobody with any sense of personal boundaries would say that.

On the other hand, my husband LOVES that other men look at me. He is proud that he has a hot wife that is all his! He has his insecurities and issues like all men do, but on this issue, I think it really appeals to his masculine vanity to be seen as a stud who's pulled a hot woman, lol. Not sure I like that sort of thinking as it doesnt cast me as being anything other than decorative, but I guess men are from mars, arent they?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wasn't it enough for the guy to say "I noticed your wife is looking great these days. She must feel awesome." Done. End of compliment. The guy sounds like a total weirdo...sorry your husband got upset :-( If someone was talking about my wife like that I would have knocked them out!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Eww - that is so gross. To say you are looking hot is fine , but the rest!!!!!!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks everyone!!! That guy is a bit of a weirdo and apparently socially awkward :) My husband usually does like the compliments I get, but I think when it came from someone who he doesn't like (part of why he doesn't like him is because he thinks he perverted) it sent him over the edge. I too am proud of him for keeping his cool and not going off on him. He did clarify to me also that it bothered him because he doesn't like the thought of "that pervert" thinking about me sexually.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My money says that the guy was trying to get a reaction out of your husband. It's possible that your husband isn't one of his favorite people either, and that could be why he did it. As far as normal guys go, we'll make comments to each other about women we see, or that none of us are connected to. But never do we say anything about each others' girlfriends, wives, sisters, etc. Thinking about it, sure....but never saying it.

It's complete disrespect towards your husband.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for male input :) You could be right. He has made comments before about my weight loss, a lot of people have asked my husband about it, but what he said yesterday went too far. I blame it on the fact that they work for the railroad, and sometimes some of them can be pretty raunchy ;)

My money says that the guy was trying to get a reaction out of your husband. It's possible that your husband isn't one of his favorite people either, and that could be why he did it. As far as normal guys go, we'll make comments to each other about women we see, or that none of us are connected to. But never do we say anything about each others' girlfriends, wives, sisters, etc. Thinking about it, sure....but never saying it.

It's complete disrespect towards your husband.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When I had my psych evaluation, he told me one of the hardest problems people face is the new reactions they get. People are not used to get looked at in a positive way, and when that changes all of the sudden it is sometimes hard to take in.. At least that is what the psychologist said. Not only this might be hard for you, it is also probably hard for your husband to know there are other men looking at you lustfully. Just some food for thought. Congrats on your success!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Makes me wonder if the guy who made the inappropriate remarks has Aspergers.. If I understand the syndrom right.. It's a problem on the continuum with Austism, but they are highly, highly functional, but don't "get" the social interaction thing. If you think about it that way, it may make his behavior easier to understand.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Some people are to stupid for their own good! What if the same had been said to him? Men are really sensitive about the big changes they see in us. We can't help it, our attitudes change about ourselves, we dress a little different, a little more outgoing and we are happier. Age doesn't matter, I am 53 and I like it when people notice the change, it is hard work for us and the husbands are happy for us but not sure how our change will change the relationship. There is an older gentleman, at lest 75, with a portable oxygen tank that goes out of his way to speak to me when he sees me weekly. My husband teases me, but I find it funny that he is watching this old man.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Makes me wonder if the guy who made the inappropriate remarks has Aspergers.. If I understand the syndrom right.. It's a problem on the continuum with Austism, but they are highly, highly functional, but don't "get" the social interaction thing. If you think about it that way, it may make his behavior easier to understand.

That was my first reaction as well.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm familiar with aperger's syndrome as my nephew has it. This guy doesn't have any signs of having it. He says thing to get a rise out of people, he always has :(

Makes me wonder if the guy who made the inappropriate remarks has Aspergers.. If I understand the syndrom right.. It's a problem on the continuum with Austism, but they are highly, highly functional, but don't "get" the social interaction thing. If you think about it that way, it may make his behavior easier to understand.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Makes me wonder if the guy who made the inappropriate remarks has Aspergers.. If I understand the syndrom right.. It's a problem on the continuum with Austism, but they are highly, highly functional, but don't "get" the social interaction thing. If you think about it that way, it may make his behavior easier to understand.

I was thinking the same thing about the Aspergers. I have a brother that has it and his social skills are lacking no fault to his own. Nice guy but just does not qute know how to interact with others.

On the flip side well done on the weight loss.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • vsg.with.sharon

      Hey everyone!
      I’m new here! Looking for some friends! 🥰
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×