Anyone else NOT an "emotional eater"?

Sunta · January 23, 2006

Am I the only one? I swear that I'm not in denial. I swear that my emotions have no bearing on my eating. Really! Neither positive nor negative stressors have any effect on how much or how little I eat (except that maybe when I'm very very very depressed or stressed, like having to go to a funeral or something equally horrible, I don't feel very much like eating at all). I feel like I am alone in this, and that no one believes me about it. In fact, tonight one of my nutrition classes is all about "identifying emotional triggers" that make us eat. This actually makes me really, really angry. I honestly feel like I constantly get blamed for my weight problem by this attitude. I am not denying that there are many people for whom this IS true (I've read some of the touching stories on here) and for whom food is directly related to childhood experiences or life events/stress. I totally respect everyone's experience, but I don't share in the experience or being an emotional eater. I don't binge. I don't go to McDonalds and order two Big Macs and supersize fries and eat it alone in my car. I am not blaming anyone who does or did that kind of thing, I'm just saying that I don't. I don't eat in secret, I don't binge, I don't eat more when I am depressed or sad. I DO eat a bit more than "normal weight" people. All the time. I don't eat a tremendous amount more, but I see that the extra calories from that extra handful of chips or that bigger piece of cake or that larger bowl of Cereal really add up. I think I am more hungry (NOT head hunger, REAL hunger) than normal weight people, and that this fact is not my fault. I can fill up a big bowl with two full cups of cereal and eat it all and not be really all that full. I will also be hungry again in two hours after eating that amount. I am hungrier than my thin friends. I just am. It's not because I'm depressed or stressed out or upset or because anything was wrong with my childhood. I am so mad about having to go to this class tonight, and I am very indignant that it's mandatory. I think it should be offered to those that ARE emotional eaters and that it can be helpful for people who are struggling with binging or with emotional eating. But to make it mandatory, it's like saying that overweight has no genetic basis and that everyone who is overweight is an emotional eater. I wish they would stop focussing on this aspect and start finding out the REAL reasons (for some of us) that make people overweight like genetics or metabolic problems. I can see myself having a major attitude problem in this class tonight. Anyone else relate to what I'm saying?

the best me · January 23, 2006

Yep, I relate, but I haven't figured myself out yet...and maybe this post is a link to the answer? I DO eat emotionally, but not all the time. Some days I 'm having a great day, not stressed, hurt, lonely, anything, and I'm HUNGRY! I'm just dadgum hungry! For me, it feels like my body knows how many calories it needs to maintain it's weight and it want's to get there fast, then evenings hit and I eat because I LIKE to, not really because I'm hungry. Hmmmm....you got me thinking....

Oh, I forgo to to add...try not to have a big chip on your shoulder tonight. Let the meeting happen and report back. But I totally know what you mean about how that message is sent that it's all your fault, you are to blame, etc etc. For me though, I keep thinking it has to be, I'm the one putting the food in my mouth! My band helps me tremendously, but I still deal with the "head hunger" it's been called...

anyhow, family is all home, gotta run, I'll read and post more later since this is a great topic for me, thanks!

imalene · January 23, 2006

I'm not an emotional eater either. I just love food and always have. Hey, I've eaten when I have had the flu in-between bouts of throwing-up.

The only times in my life (and I'm 49) that I can recall that emotion affected my eating was when I ...

1) experienced extreme grief over a very close loved one's prognosis of a terminal illness or their actual death

2) the loss of my first true love (he found someone else)

3) times when I thought I was loosing my sanity or thought I was going over the "edge" - usually related to number 1 or 2 above.

And at these times I simply lost my appetite.

Although I have gone to McDonalds and eaten enough for two (or more) people - on the drive home, it is because I love the taste of food and can't or don't want to stop eating. Not because I'm trying to fill a hole inside of me - which is a theory many people believe. For me, it's just not the case.

So, I for one believe you! And I totally feel for the emotional eaters out there. Just as I feel for the rest of us who eat too much for whatever reason.

Patti

Jachut · January 23, 2006

I get what you're saying, that's exactly what I"m like. I can and do eat when very stressed however overall I'm not an emotional eater. I just had a very big appetite. I also put on stacks and stacks (probably a good 3/4) of my excess weight whilst breastfeeding - it just put my entire system out of whack and without particularly eating more I was gaining a kilo a week at times. So I also never really ate enough to get to 40kg overweight.

I also never had a real problem with particular foods. I was a bit of a carb addict, because I did particularly like muffins, cakes and biscuits but I love healthy foods, I love cooking healthy meals.

Consequently (even though I'm not smug and am sympathetic to people with greater issues) banding has just fixed my problem entirely. To me, this is just so easy. I'm not hungry anymore therefore I dont eat. When I am hungry I do eat, just enough to satisfy. I have no compulsion to overeat, no problem with avoiding bad foods and choosing good ones most of the time and no problem with the occasional treat.

The only thing I've found is that bread seems to make me ravenous so i just dont eat it.

You would think that all this would mean I could have simply gone on a diet and lost the weight, but although I've always done maintenance very well I never go the hang of deprivation. My only periods of serious overeating have been after six or seven weeks of dieting.

I know I'm one of the lucky ones. This has just normalised my appetite and consequently the weight is following suit.

vinesqueen · January 24, 2006

Hey there, welcome to the club! Under one suprevised program I went through I had to meet with a shrink to talk about my food issues. He was completely baffled because I didn't have an eating disorder.

But I do think that everyone is an emotional eater on some level. I think the line runs from folks like the one's that have posted where we really don't much to the opposite end of the spectrum where they wind changes affects their eating.

Since I've joined LBT I've gained such an insite on eating disorderes. I still dont' understand them, (and apperently can't spell them either.)

When I'm feeling strong emotions I lose my appitite. But then, I've never been a binger, I hate the feeling that most people have after Thanksgiving or Christmas... that over stuffed feeling where you feel like your skin is too tight. Hate, hate, hate. Hmmm strong emotions.

I guess the problem is that so many are emotional eaters, so many are bingers, so many have eating disorders. I'm a foodie I guess. I love good food, I love feeding people good food. And I've always had a big appitite, but I have a big appitite for life, I wonder if they are related.

If I was a normal bandster, the band would work perfectly for me, and I guess, in some respects it does. I'm not hungry all the time now, and I've been freed from thinking about food.

Alexandra · January 24, 2006

I'm another one who never identified with "emotional eating." I've sat through COUNTLESS sessions on identifying those triggers and dealing with them, though, and they have never helped. It was just another going-through-the-motions thing as part of yet another diet program.

I always ate a lot because I was hungry, and ate too fast. Period. I'm as emotional as the next person, I guess, but food in my life was always a response to a perceived physical need, not emotional.

Who knows, maybe that's naive. Maybe the perception of physical hunger really IS tied to emotional issues. But unless that's obvious to the person involved, no class in the world is going to make a difference.

So I hear you about the class and your resentment of it. But just go, and get through it, and move on. Don't be attitudinal, it won't help. Just invest the time. You're worth it!!

Tricia K. · January 24, 2006

I always ate a lot because I was hungry, and ate too fast. Period. I'm as emotional as the next person, I guess, but food in my life was always a response to a perceived physical need, not emotional.

This sounds exactly like me. Although, I'm a bit different in that I didn't eat a lot when I was hungry, I just ate. Everyone I know says that I ate like a bird even before I had the surgery. My thin friends always commented that I ate less than they did. My problem was I didn't always choose the right foods (e.g. I would eat carbs, sweets, etc.).

lianna · January 24, 2006

I dont really consider myself an emotional eater either. Like you, I have never in my life ordered more than one meal, or hid my eating, or ate because I felt like I had to fill some void, or any of the things that emotional eaters can sometimes struggle with. My main hang up with food is that it tastes good!!!! (and that I love salty foods and carbohydrates.) I would go for seconds on turkey or stuffing before I would ever dream of wanting a piece of pecan pie. I have no sweet tooth at all. My fat is not because of why I eat, or how often, and only partially because of how much....the fat is here because of WHAT I like to eat. Lasagna and garlic bread, cheese enchiladas with refried Beans and rice, stuffed baked potatoes, etc... lol. I think my portions were also often too big(but arent anymore). I rarely ate between meals and still rarely do. I do eat sometimes out of boredom, just not very often. However, I dont go for food when I am stressed, sad, lonely, mad, whatever. I read a post where the person stated that "we all have some kind of eating disorder, or we wouldnt be here"......and I really disagree with that. Some people are emotional eaters, some people are binge eaters, I was just a little too lazy and ate too much of the wrong foods! And YES that is in past tense;-)

Jachut · January 24, 2006

I disagree with that eating disorder comment too. This band has taught me that I always responded to my appetite in a completely normal way, its just that my appetite was too big for my energy needs.

I've never eaten to bursting or physical pain, I've never made myself sick from eating too much, I stopped when I was satisfied before I got my band. That point just didnt come until I'd racked up too many calories was my only trouble.

cissy · January 24, 2006

I'm an emotional non-eater. I'd say over the last 5 years or so, up until last year when I finally decided to do something about my weight, my husband has put me through a TREMENDOUS amount of stress. (another whole story) During that time I didn't want to eat because I was thinking too much about what had happened, was it my fault, was it his fault, yes it was his fault but why did he blame me, etc. Whenever I came to some sort of reasonable conclusion in my mind, I'd start eating again.

I was never a binge eater, I just always made the wrong choices, fast food, fried foods, lots of sodas, etc.

Sunta · January 24, 2006

Wow, so many great responses! I did go to the class tonight and *tried* not to be too obviously irritated. It wasn't all that bad really. She mostly talked about ways we "use" food such as to Celebrate special occasions or to show appreciation to others. She did touch on using food to fill an emotional need or to fill a boredom gap, which again I don't relate to. The majority of people in the class did feel like they are emotional eaters so I guess for them it was helpful. In thinking more about it, and after reading all of your thoughtful responses, I do agree that I am a "foodie". I do love food and trying new restaurants and new foods. I love the taste of food and I do eat too much (mostly because I am more hungry than average weight people but sometimes because it just plain tastes good!). However, being a foodie does not equal emotional eating, because I know plenty of thin people who are foodies too; those who love eating out, trying new foods, and the flavor and texture of food. She talked tonight about "mindless eating" and "not enjoying your food because you eat so fast" and I don't relate to those things either. I am always paying attention to what I eat because I always enjoy it! I see myself as no different from the thin friends I dine with who are foodies too except for the fact I am more hungry than they are and can eat more than they can. I was laughing tonight because another couple friend of me and my husband just invited us out to Dim Sum on Sunday in honor of Chinese New Year. This couple friend is thin but they looove to eat! So, we'll go to Dim Sum, and we're all foodies, and I will eat more than them but not because I'm emotional. I don't think my love of food will change after I get the band, but I do think (hope) the band will control my portion sizes, which is really what I need to be successful.