Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Recommended Posts

:Banane09: Hello Fellow Lap-Banders,

When I decided to start this process a year ago, I chose not to tell anyone what was going on execpt my husband. As the date nears, the reality that I may have to tell my parents, brothers and in-laws, I am not sure what to tell them. My 17-month daughter cannot come to the hospitial and I will need help with her for the next month or so because I "cannot" pick her up.

I don't want to be questioned or freak out my family; I am not sure what to tell them....What should I tell them?

As far as the nay sayers (people at work); I am not telling them. Other than the fact that I have complained about the herain surgery....Nothing else should be said.

Can you help me?

Uptwist

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That is a tough call and one I struggled with myself. It is apparent that you have done your research and didn't come to this decision lightly. I don't know your family, or how supportive they would be of your lap band journey. I ended up telling my parents and my two sisters. I knew that my sisters would support me, but wasn't so sure about my mom. I thought about lying and saying that I was having gallbladder surgery or something similar. However, I decided that I'd bite the bullet and tell her the truth. I approached my mom with the argument that my decision to do this was well-researched, and that it would improve my health, in the long run. Better health would mean that I would be able to care for my family for years to come. She didn't agree with my decision, but understood why I made the decision. I hope that your family is supportive. I know that it would be hard to have the people closest to you questioning your decision. I wish you all the best as you continue your lap band journey :)

Tracey

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I didn't tell anyone but my husband and my two children ages 14, and 4. The four year old doesn't really understand, but of course my 14 year old does. They are so happy for me, and very supportive. I chose not to tell anyone else becouse they wouldn't be supportive or helpful if they knew what I was having done. I've told my co-workers, and friends that I had a hernia repair. I have to have help from my co-workers when I return to work (I am a nurse) I won't be able to do any lifting, and can't afford 6 weeks off work. I could be wrong and they may be supportive, but I dout it and don't want to take the chance! My friends and family the same thing. I needed them to help get my kids to school the day of surgery since my huspand was driving me we needed someone to help with them that morning. Again I could be wrong and they may would've supported me, but if they didn't support me and refused to help out what would I have done?!! I wasn't willing to take the chance! I may tell them later after I've lost a lot of weight! Plus my mom several years ago had gastric bypass, and within a couple of years gained most of her wt. back. She refuses to realize that the lapband is different than what she had done. She made several bad choices with foods , and amounts that resulted in stretching her stomach back out. If she would've went with the lapband she could've gotten a fill to get her back on track! Anyways not only did I need support, but also didn't feel like hearing neg. comments, or having to explain my decision to everyone who would've tried to talk me out of it!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello! Congrats on your decision! I was banded on 12/21/2010. The only person that knows about my surgery is my husband. I am close with my family but everyone is at their ideal weight and no one has struggled like me. They may have been supportive but I know they would say "it's the easy way out" (which this journey has not been easy at all). No one in my family even knows that I had surgery. The only thing I had to worry about was people at work. I told them I needed to have my gall bladder removed. My surgery date worked perfectly because I am a teacher. I missed 2 days of work abs then was able to recover over Christmas vacation.

Since surgery I have lost 47 pounds. It comes off slowly for me and I exercise regularly. Since the weight is coming off slowly (verses gastric bypass) no one has any idea I had weightliss surgery. It's a personal choice but I am a private person and that is the decision I made.

Good luck to you in your journey! It is worth it!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Please excuse the spelling errors, I didn't proofread my post....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am still questioning my decision, but I decided not to tell family, friends, or my job. I did tell one friend who picked me up at the surgery center and took me home. I told them I was having surgery because of the gastric reflux (which is true) because this surgery often helps with gastric reflux When they found the large hernia in surgery I was able to tell them that as well. I hope the hernia was a large cause of my reflux and it will truly be gone. My surgery was 5/25/2011.

I feared my family would not be supportive and I will tell them after I have lost some weight. I hope they aren't upset that I didn't trust them with it before it was done.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Tell them it is an ulcer.

I am still questioning my decision, but I decided not to tell family, friends, or my job. I did tell one friend who picked me up at the surgery center and took me home. I told them I was having surgery because of the gastric reflux (which is true) because this surgery often helps with gastric reflux When they found the large hernia in surgery I was able to tell them that as well. I hope the hernia was a large cause of my reflux and it will truly be gone. My surgery was 5/25/2011.

I feared my family would not be supportive and I will tell them after I have lost some weight. I hope they aren't upset that I didn't trust them with it before it was done.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've done research on this subject and discussed it with my best friend over the last year, and then I brought it to the attention of my husband. He is worried about what it will entail. But, he's with me on it. I've told my friends and my family members exactly what I'm planning on doing. If they are on board with what I'm doing, and can support me, Great! If not, it's not their life. I have made this decision to change my life for the better. That's it, no further discussion is really needed. Who cares what everyone else thinks? It's your life, and do with it as you see fit and necessary.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello all, I too have chosen to only tell a few select people. (Just got my insurance approval Yesterday!! YEAH!!) I just dont want the negativity or for others to interject their personal "dr opinions". Perhaps later I will let them know but for now, i want to focus on myself and not defending my choice to others.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have only told 2 people, my husband and a close friend. my family doesn't know, my co-workers do not know, nobody knows. i was banded may 4th and i've dropped about 30 pounds and nobody has even seemed to notice :P to be fair, i have a lot to lose, so it's not really easily noticable, soooo i'll cross that bridge when i get there. for now, i just want to concentrate on me and doing what i'm supposed to be doing and not have everyone around me analyze what i put into my mouth. it's not an easy decision to "go it alone" but it's (at this moment) the right decision for me.

good luck in whatever you decide.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Kepp in mind the more people you tell the more it will spread. If you tell 6, expect 18 to know eventually (secrets are hard to keep!). Think about who you will really need to help you with this journey (childcare) maybe invite them over your house and just tell them. Tell them you are not really asking for opinions or advice but rather support with caring for yr. child. I only told my hubby so far. I mentioned it to my BF but I didn't tell her I went into surgery. I just told my boss I needed a few days off for some personal outpatient surgery that I needed. Good luck!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • vsg.with.sharon

      Hey everyone!
      I’m new here! Looking for some friends! 🥰
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×