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question for those not telling anyone at work



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I'm not planning to tell anyone either. I can easily take a week off and no one will be the wiser. The problem is, all these pre-op evaluations mean lots of time off work. I saw my PCP yesterday. Now I have six more appointments to go through before the actual surgery: nutritionist, social worker, x-ray, ultrasound, pre-op physical, and meeting with the surgeon. I'm tempted to tell my boss what I'm up to so she won't think I'm sneaking off to job interviews or something, but I was really hoping to keep this to myself.

How did you guys handle it?

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I told my supervisor because of the time off needed to go to the doctors office. If anyone asked about my weight loss I told them. I have told my co-workers and they have been supportive.. If there is an emergency at work and I needed medical attention at least someone can say I had surgery if I am unable respond to medical staff. Something to think about..

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I've told everyone that wil bother to listen LOL, but that's just me. I'm so happy for what the band has done for me, I reckon if it can help anyone else by telling, the more the merrier.

There are several threads here though, about keeping it a secret. I think actually, if you do a search for 'secret' some will turn up. Good luck with it all :)

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I did not tell my boss because he's the type that wouldn't understand. In his mind he would think I am wasting company time on something I should be able to control. He's clueless. Anyway, I just said I'm going to doctors appointments because there is something I need to take care of, I'm not feeling well.

IMHO its none of their business.

Plus I did not tell anyone at work or home (some family) because I don't want to be looked at under a magnifying glass. The weight just doesn't melt off and I don't need anyone looking at me thinking things that they just don't understand.

You just need to do whats right for you and your situation. Good luck !!

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I told my co-workers I was having gall bladder problems and needed to have test done, which you will (sonogram) My other appointments I scheduled enough in advance so I could attend 3 appointments on one day. I have not had band surgery yet but am waiting for insurance approval. When approved, (not if) I might tell them I have the flu, or take a week of vacation or cross that bridge when I get there.

PJ :)

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I didnt tell any one I work with because its none of their business and becuase of the new HIPPA law no one in HR can release any info about you being off work for sickness. I told my boss I was having bowel problems which I still do have and I needed to be off work for exploratory surgery to see whats wrong with me becuase they don't know exactly what... But then if you decided to tell you boss only tell then you are having abdominal surgery. Most people I know who have had WLS are usually under the Microscope and everybody is checking them out and seeing how much weight they have lost already. I had to go to the ER room a couple of weeks ago and I told the ER nurse I had the surgery and the first thing she asked was how much weight have you lost so far... I really wanted to tell her none of your bussiness but I did need her help so I kept my cool. I told her I had the LB surgery and WL wasn't as fast as RNY. Now keep in mind when I was in the ER room I was only 3 weeks out from my surgery, I told her that but I guess she was looking for me to say about 30 or 40 lbs I don't know but I was offended by her asking. the nurse had no clue as to what the lap band was I told her to go online and learn about it. Any ways I didn't tell my family either my mom is so against it. I only told my husband and hopefully he has kept it to himself.

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I just went through all the testing etc and I just told people at work the doc needed some tests run. No one asked me why I was going so much. I think they knew if I wanted them to know I'd tell them. They are pretty good that way. I did tell my boss because I needed the time off and I needed to plan with her my week off. She's been extremely supportive.

Like Eileen, I didn't tell most of my family or friends because I don't want them watching everything I put in my mouth and monitoring it. I can do that on my own. My husband, son and mom know only as far as family. My two best friends know and support me on it as well. One is even considering it herself. That's it...no one else know besides you folks hahaha

And WHEN I loose weight...if someone asks me what diet I'm on or what I'm doing to lose it. I'm plan on telling them I've just cut back on my food and started exercising more.

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I have told no one at work. I work graveyard, so all of my doctor appointments went unnoticed. I told my supervisor that I was having a medical procedure done and nothing more was asked.

My original intentions were just for a few family members to know - my husband, daughter, mother and in-laws. My mother spilled the Beans to my daughter when I was just considering surgery, then told my brother and his wife. My FIL can't keep his mouth shut about anything, so I assume most of hubby's siblings know.

I don't want to be under a microscope and it's really no one's business - losing weight is enough!!!

One of the mom's at the bus stop asked me the other day what type of diet I was on ... I just smiled and said that I'm eating Proteins and veggies first, and carbs if there is room. It's the truth!!

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I told my boss that I was having "minor surgery" and that it was "girl stuff" and that was plenty for him to know. So all the pre-op appointments were pre-surgery and he had zero problem.

I'm firmly on the no tell side. No one needs to know and as mrsgdmc said, no one has to know. Saying "medical procedure" is plenty.

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i told no one...had it done in Mexico with dr kuri. Worked thursday, was off friday for testing, saturday surgery, sunday walked around, came back home monday, back to work tuesday. didn't even tell my parents, just hubby and i knew. fast forward 3 years, only immediate family knows and 2 good friends/coworkers. that's it. weight loss has been slow but noticable over the last 3 years.

everyone thinks i look fabulous. that's all.

ana

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At the same time I was preparing to have surgery, I also had an abnormal pap and found out I have HPV, a virus that causes cervical cancer. My gyno did a biopsy and told me it's fine and I just need to have another pap in 6 months. So I told my boss that my many dr. appointments were related to that, even though that thing had been resolved. The funny thing is, I was more embarassed about WLS than about a sexually transmitted virus! How weird is that? I mean, everyone already knows I'm fat, it's not like that's a big secret. But for some reason I wanted my WLS to be a secret.

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I think most of us keep the WLS surgery secret because the last thing we need is someone watching everything we put in our mouths. It's going to be difficult enough never mind someone saying.."Are you suppose to eat that" every time you do eat. I think we beat ourselves up enough about our weight that we don't need help from someone else when and if we have a bad day or make a choice that's not the best.

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I told ONLY my immediate team members at work and everyone else thinks I was out for kidney problems (which I often have anyway). It's been wonderful to have a boss who tells me I'm "wasting away" on her every day and that I look great. She also has covered for me during lunch meetings where I hardly ate a thing. It's been a great decision to tell my boss and my office mate.

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At the same time I was preparing to have surgery, I also had an abnormal pap and found out I have HPV, a virus that causes cervical cancer

Frankly, Monica, IMO, you needn't be embarrassed about your WLS OR your HPV diagnosis. I completely understand, however, about not wanting anyone to know. I woldn't either. I hear the comments at my job that people make about the young woman in our office who had a bypass. Things like, "I can't believe she would put herself through that." "It's just not worth it to me to undergo elective surgury just to be thin." The usual cluless remarks. Granted....she has had a LOT of problems, poor thing, but still...who the hell asked their opinion??? Still, people who don't have struggles with weight are clueless and often hurtful and don't even know it. I would probably keep my trap shut, too.

Concerning the HPV...I recently read an article that said that about 75% of women have been infected with some sort of HPV strain. 75%!! So...over two thirds of folks on this board could have it (me included) and not know it. Kinda blows the stigma all to hell in my eyes.

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I agree with Sherry, too many time in the past I have stated, "I am on a diet" and nothing has happened. I did the L.A. Weight Loss program, lost 20 lbs, then found 30 lbs. Guess I'm tired of saying it, not doing it and feel like I'm getting that "yea, sure you are" look from people. But that's me, I know I've failed too many times. :)

PJ

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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