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Jealous fellow lapbander...



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I have a co-worker who had the surgery a year ago and has lost 42 lbs and I am so proud of her! She was my inspriation to have the surgery. I had my surgery March 23, 2011 and had my follow-up appointment March 31 and at that point I had lost 16 lbs. Me thinking she would be proud of me for my accomplishment...boy was I wrong! She said that I can't lose more than her, it took her a month to lose 16 lbs, it's not fair! (all her sayings) Yesterday she aked me what I was eating, I told her a 1/2 can of cream of mushroom Soup and a couple of spoons of applesauce, she proceeds to tell me that it's okay for me to eat now and I said i'm fine, my friend asked her why is she trying to make me eat, she said because she's jealous of my weight lose!!!! I know she's saying it in a joking manner but I know she's being serious at the same time. So now i'm in a competition that I didn't even know I entered! SMH :unsure:

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Maybe you can find a way to work together and support each other. Now she will have someone to understand what she has been going thru with the surgery and the whole process.

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Maybe you can find a way to work together and support each other. Now she will have someone to understand what she has been going thru with the surgery and the whole process.

That's what I thought we were doing for each other because I call her wirh all kinds of questions. And plus we have 2 different body types, I'm tall she's short, she has hips and butt and I have none...

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Maybe you can find a way to work together and support each other. Now she will have someone to understand what she has been going thru with the surgery and the whole process.

That's what I thought we were doing for each other because I call her wirh all kinds of questions. And plus we have 2 different body types, I'm tall she's short, she has hips and butt and I have none...

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One good thing could come out of this she will gain some motivation to work harder if she has lost it!

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I'd say take the high road, follow your own plan, and let her play catch up. If she's not losing enough maybe she needs you to be HER example. The comments she's making sound like she's externalizing her internal guilt.

Good luck!

Dave

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I have had lapband since january and have lost 46lbs including the pre-op diet. It is and WILL BE possible for you to lose more than her if you follow the rules and do what you're supposed to. Maybe she shouldn't be the one you go to for nutritional advice. It is always helpful though to ask a fellow bandster about feelings...discomforts, pains etc that we are curious about. remember to do what's best for you and your band and you'll be fine.

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It is and WILL BE possible for you to lose more than her if you follow the rules and do what you're supposed to.

Funny how that works, isn't it? I'm okay with slower weight loss- any loss is just dandy. The slowness (53 pounds in 13 months) is due to me still struggling with emotional eating issues and not the band or the program. Step by step, I'll get there, even if it takes me longer than other people. :D

Can you gently tell your friend, "It's not a race to an end, it's a journey through life and I'm glad to have you along for the ride. We'll both get where we're going, and I want us to enjoy the trip together."

It's hard when the teacher becomes the student, and that is sort of what is happening here. She's trying to deal with her envy by joking about it, but it has to be very hard for her. Good luck to you both.

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You aren't doing anything wrong! 2 different bodies.. everyone loses different. Also... 42lbs in a year isn't that impressive... I mean I don't know her obviously. But that to me, would signal something is up with her diet. So maybe you can motivate her :)

Also don't listen to her, listen to your doctor haha.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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