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To tell or not to tell, that is the question



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A note: I have in fact had my gallbladder out, so I didn't have to worry about actually needing the surgery in the future :) Keep that in mind, any late readers!

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I too haven't told many people - my husband, kids, mother and mother in law. I had my surgery on a Thursday and went back to work the following Tuesday. I just took vacation time and when they asked what I was going to be doing I just said I had a lot of odds and ends that needed to be taken care of. As far as the liquid diet goes, I told everyone that I was working with a nutritionist who wanted me to "kick start" my new diet with a liquid diet to detox my system and everyone accepted that explanation. I really struggled with my decision to not tell many people but I have some very judgemental people in my family and I just didn't want to deal with them about this. In the end, I talked to my therapist about it and he said that I shouldn't feel obligated to tell anyone because it wasn't any of their business. That made me feel better about my decision...

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If you dont want to tell, that is your choice...Since your liquid diet will be filled with Protein shakes...just simply say you are trying a Protein shake Diet. I am sure there are some out there and then you wont have to say a word.

Feeling confident that this the right step for me. Scheduled to attend the Bariatric Specialist seminar in May and go from there. Work in a hospital and have seen several coworkers successfully lose weight, who told very few people of their surgery. Have friends that I eat lunch with, some of which are being successful with weight watchers who I suspect will think I'm taking drastic measures and instead think if I just "worked harder" I could lose weight and keep it off too. I've been overweight all my life. I've successfully lost up to 40 lbs with WW, but gained it all back. With Diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, I realize that lapband is what I need as a tool to help me achieve my goals and live a longer, healthier life. I'd like to not tell anyone but immediate family, but when I need to be on a liquid diet for so many weeks, it's hard to figure how to have lunch with the crew without so many questions about my change in food intake. Any suggestions? How did those of you that chose to keep this decision private do it without people questioning your eating habits when you were on shakes etc?

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I too am struggling with this question right now. I just started my 3 month pre surgery diet plan (per my insurance company), The only person that knows that I'm doing this to prepare for the lapband is my husband. I mentioned the lapband to a coworker last year and she flipped out that I was even considering going that route instead of adjusting my diet and exercising. I'm taking this journey day by day and trying not to worry too much about what I'm going to tell my friends and family (or if I even tell them at all).

If you dont want to tell, that is your choice...Since your liquid diet will be filled with Protein Shakes...just simply say you are trying a Protein Shake Diet. I am sure there are some out there and then you wont have to say a word.

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    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 1 reply
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

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