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Who did you tell?



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I was banded in Nov. and have only told my kids and a couple of very close friends. I'm curious about you guys. I felt like I wanted to lose some serious weight first. I was hoping that when someone asked me that I could be candid. At this point no one has even noticed that I have lost anything so I have kept my secret.

Has anyone else kept their surgery a secret?

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:raises hand: Yup, me. I don't think it's anyone's business at ALL. I kept it a total secret. My family still doesn't know and I'm six months out. My best friend, my cousin who is my support, my sister. That's it. Oh, I just recently told the guy I'm dating who was curious about my scars. This was my decision, done for me. No one needs to know. It's none of their business.

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I've told just about everyone. I don't feel it's anything to be ashamed of. It gives me a larger support group too. In fact, some of my co-workers are now interested in the band now that I've done it.;-)

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:raises hand 2: me too! its a personal decision and its noone's business if i have a ring arround my stomach! only my husband, my mom, my sister, and my best friend.. i just said im on diet!

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I told my Mom, Sister and a close friend with a weight problem who I knew would understand my decision. But everyone is different, a friend at work who had it done is telling everyone.

What ever floats your boat ;)

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Not banded yet, But only told mom and dad (and they know not to tell any other familly members). I told two of my close friends for support and that's it. Nobody's business...plus I don't want everyone asking me how much I've lost all the time etc. Just my choice..plus I'm a very personal person anyway. :Bunny

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One thing to think about when telling people is not just what their reaction will be, or whether they will support you, but also what their expectations will be after they know. The more people you tell, the more people are "watching you". Even the most supportive of frinds & family have things to say when you make a slip, or a wrong choice. This fish bowl effect is one I hadn't thought about until after I was banded. People have expectations that you will drop 100 lbs in a few months like bypass patients and I don't need that kind of pressure! I have told people on a need to know basis. My very close friends and family all know, but not alot of co-workers and aquaintances......

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At first I was not going to tell anyone but those closest to me, but then as the surgery came closer and I knew there would be lots of questions, I ended up telling people at work and my friends. It seemed easier than trying to explain my time away from work and why I was on a liquid diet for two weeks prior to surgery. I am a teacher, and lining up a sub and working with so many women is hard to be sneaky about anything.

Now I am in the fishbowl, I feel people watching me and I have also heard some of their theories as to why I had this surgery- lonely since i am divorced and single again was the one that really mad me angry. I think everyone is waiting to watch me melt away like a bypass patient and that is another stresser for me. I have tried to explain what I have done and that it was for a variety of reasons. Health, high BP and a buldging disc were the factors that pushed me over the top, and looking good was a huge perk as well!

I just went for a fill this last week and I hope that my next level of weightloss will take place soon. I have been stuck at 22 pounds for a month now since I did not feel restriction. This morning was the first day I felt my band working as I ate my Breakfast typing this note... YIPEEEE!

Amy

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I've told just about everyone. I don't feel it's anything to be ashamed of. It gives me a larger support group too. In fact, some of my co-workers are now interested in the band now that I've done it.;-)

I totally agree. I told everyone, because I am very proud of the choice I have made! ;)

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I've told almost everyone, too. It's like I'm too excited to shut the heck up even though I may be met with some pessimism. It just blurts out of my mouth before I know it - then I think maybe that wasn't such a good idea - people will be watching, but before you know it it's blurted out again! Oh well, I'm proud of my decision, too and hope to show the pessimistic people a thing or two...

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I told my husband because I couldn't get away with not telling him ! Other than that, I felt it was a very personal matter. Although I love my friends and co-workers, I didn't want to live under a microscope. I didnt tell my family because they worry about my health and I thought they just wouldn't understand. I have lost at a rapid pace, so people are noticing and asking questions-I just say I eat ALOT less. Not a lie, right??? I have even had some rude people ask if I had GB, again I say "NO".

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I'm in the "tell-all" category. Just for documentation's sake, I do not feel like I am under a microscope at all! All I ever hear is positive feedback, like "Wow! You are really looking good!" If I eat something "non-band" no one says anything, I don't get the feeling that they care. NO one makes perfect food choices 100% of the time. Maybe that's something to think about. We may be somewhat delusional in our expectations of ourselves...too many people think they are failures, just for being human for goodness sake! That being said, just want you closet bandsters to know I support you and you must know why you need to be private, and you should feel fine about whatever way you choose.

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I guess I'm in the tell all category. I work with a fabulous group of people who are very supportive. We walk together during lunch etc. I even told some of my employees (I deal with healthcare professionals) and they thought it was really a great idea. Of course then you get 20 questions but that's okay. One of my coworkers was already banded back in September and two more are considering it. These people watched me eat burgers and probably wondered why I was doing that, so now they Celebrate small victories with me ;) Of course my family and friends know too.

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I have told everyone, right down to the waiter at dinner last night. I'm not ashamed that I'm trying to save my life. I've given details about the surgery to anyone who asked and have a neighbor who is now getting approved! She said she didn't want the lapband until she knew of someone who had it. If I had been tight lipped, she moght have continued to suffer.

The whole "keep it a secret" thing always bewildered me. We didn't keep our fat lives a secret, why keep the skinny ones secret? I guess I have no problem sharing my life in hopes to help others. If I screw up and eat the wrong thing, so what. I'm not perfect but at least I'm trying and the people around notice that if nothing else.

Proud to be a Bandster!

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